1st Breakthrough

[Airpig]

Quick precis. Joined DMT Nexus about three months ago. Did the thing......Q21Q21.....lots of fluffy white.
Dug out an RDA mesh (wotofo profile 1.5). busy life with kids, jobs etc....had to wait.
Tiptoe amounts to begin with 17mg, 20mg, 25mg......all producing lovely visuals, colours, and meso-american 'load screen'....from there into the waiting room and burping up songs with jesters, crocodiles, Ganesha.....

Got a better RDA mesh vape.....roped my brother in to sit for me (He's experienced with acid and shrooms)....loaded 25mg....lovely trip , but more of the same.

Had been away for a few days looking after a sick friend. Got home yesterday.....kids away on hols....all was quiet.

Loaded 35mg on to the e-mesh. Spent some time composing myself....went for it.

1,000 miles an hour....none of the usual sequence...pretty much hyperspace...just wallop straight to a black space...but surrounded by....by....well, words fail me...I could see whole worlds contained within fractal tunnels....whole galaxies...I felt as if I had to choose..to move towards one.

I was being encouraged by a whole host of entities....but I was on the metaphoric floor...crouched in the corner. My whole body was shaking...and I was so, so, thirsty.
I was saying I want to come...but I'm so thirsty.

they/me...I don't know...asked why are you resisting, you wanted this. I'm saying 'be kind, do it with love'
I'm trying to compose myself....but I don't know where to go. I can see worlds of primordial soup, worlds that look technologically way more advanced than this one. planets, stars, solar systems....and my body is shaking and going WTF.

Lots of internal dialogue to myself....calm down, you wanted this, open and accept, but my body is shaking like a dog with distemper. The others are encouraging me.

I spent too much time messing about, I came back into my room briefly, thought I was coming back down....but no, still going hell for leather...composed myself, went back.

tried to just uncurl myself, open my mind, body, accept...but was beginning to wear off...I made the decision to leave it at that. I said 'next time I'll be ready, thank you for trying'

Was gone for 15 minutes!

Holy Mackerel....I could see...infinite numbers of worlds.

Just remembered, as I was lying back and everything was breaking down into patterns...I could feel thirst coming on and something said 'Dejavu' to me.

It was the sixth time I had tried DMT

 

[YetiWarrior]

This is a great description of what can't be put into words. The anxiety, I feel, is normal, it's talked about a lot, I'm glad you got there. I had a shaking episode one time where I felt I was incredibly cold even though I was under multiple covers, but my shaking aligned with the vibrations of the music I was listening to while I was gone.

Thanks for sharing, I hope you have many great voyages.

 

[Voidmatrix]

The shaking and tremors are sometimes referred to as discharges. If you can relax into it and surrender (whenever I tell myself this during the trip, everything becomes exponentially more manageable, it can be hard sometimes though) then it can be therapeutic.

Also, congratulations :thumb_up:

One love

 

[Airpig]

This is a great description of what can't be put into words. The anxiety, I feel, is normal, it's talked about a lot, I'm glad you got there. I had a shaking episode one time where I felt I was incredibly cold even though I was under multiple covers, but my shaking aligned with the vibrations of the music I was listening to while I was gone.

Thanks for sharing, I hope you have many great voyages.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, and for sharing your experience....it's appreciated....and helps hugely.

Talking about it, sharing, helps with ultimately understanding the individual experience.

I too was very cold through the shaking period.
Everything was there..but the physicality of the experience held me back.

Maybe the message was to live more in the moment and to not focus on the distractions. Or to trust more in my ability.
Everything needs to percolate more.

 

[Airpig]

The shaking and tremors are sometimes referred to as discharges. If you can relax into it and surrender (whenever I tell myself this during the trip, everything becomes exponentially more manageable, it can be hard sometimes though) then it can be therapeutic.

Also, congratulations :thumb_up:

One love

Thank you, Thank you, for your help and 'congratulations'
I'm not kicking myself too hard. It was such a removal from the 'real' we inhabit day to day, and the shaking such a physical anchor, that I can forgive myself not getting it right.
It fits with my process of baby steps.

I now understand the reverance and respect with which to proceed.....and pre-trip nerves!

My god, but it was beautiful.

One love indeed.

 

[Voidmatrix]

The shaking and tremors are sometimes referred to as discharges. If you can relax into it and surrender (whenever I tell myself this during the trip, everything becomes exponentially more manageable, it can be hard sometimes though) then it can be therapeutic.

Also, congratulations :thumb_up:

One love

Thank you, Thank you, for your help and 'congratulations'
I'm not kicking myself too hard. It was such a removal from the 'real' we inhabit day to day, and the shaking such a physical anchor, that I can forgive myself not getting it right.
It fits with my process of baby steps.

I now understand the reverance and respect with which to proceed.....and pre-trip nerves!

My god, but it was beautiful.

One love indeed.

Authentic respect and reverence will do you well indeed, imo.

And yes, I'm glad to hear that you're taking it easy on yourself. Have grace with yourself. I've learned/am learning what happens when one doesn't...

One love