amor_fati: you summed it up nicely.

I feel this duality in myself (escape into comfort and comatose vs. the ambition for a meaningful life). The only reason I'm still on the path is that something always brings me back, the desire for enlightenment seems to be unstoppable. That's my only hope, actually, that this process cannot be stopped, that it's inevitable.

I think that there is a bottom of the pit that the world at whole or individuals in particular can hit, and this experience may turn the tide into the other direction. We may be witnesses to and participants of this apocalypse right now.