Childlike
Rising Star
Hi all,
I am back form the Jungle. I had the most amazing experience deep in the Peruvian Jungle drinking Ayahuasca 4 times in 7 days, at night, surrounded by the noises of nature, with a Shaman, chanting Icaros all night.
I am going to tell you straight what I experienced, without filter or judgement. I am still processing this.
My first session was most spectacular: Ayahuasca came over me like a warm wave, like entering a comfortable bathtub. Immediately I was communicating with beings that told me they were our creators. They told me that they created us on earth and had to move on. But they are always there for us. And I felt like I had always known this, that I had forgotten, but that this is of course the truth deep down. I felt like they were our dear creators, I felt like they were our beloved parents. I asked them why we have all this suffering on earth and they said they were sorry, they made a mistake, they had underestimated the development of the ego. I realized: would a perfect God create this world with this misery? And I realized that no, a perfect God wouldn't, only imperfect creators, who are more advanced than humanity. I experienced that our creators were imperfect, very good-meaning beings.
They told me what the goal of my life is: Just enjoy it! Walk the earth, see all countries, get to know people all over, have fun with them! The business world (that I work in) is a joke, a waste of time, get out of it! Stay with your girlfriend (I was in doubt). Treat your girl like a princess, make her happy every day! The communication was so clear, I was amazed.
I also remembered some scenes from my early childhood, scenes where I decided that life would not be as awesome as I though because something bad had happened, i.e my parents had divorced. I had decided that I am not as special as I thought because why would something like this happen to a special child. I remembered this and felt my pain as a small child. I saw several of these scenes during my first session.
My second session was more physically active: After about one hour I felt like moving and went outside the ceremony room and was standing outside in nature. The trees looked so alive, all the sounds, the leafs were their communication devices, it was fascinating. To me it felt like this session was there to build my confidence to go outside, explore the world, follow my curiosity, be courageous etc. Other episodes of this session were states of pure being and peace. A meditative state in which one accepts everything as it is, watches as the unmoved observer and is in peace with everything. A beautiful calmness for hours.
The third session was a lot of inner work. I worked through several issues like perfectionism, the realization that I need to show myself more love and a few other things I have now forgotten (this happens on Ayahuasca and DMT as most of you will know). I was pretty much super-tired after this session and really needed to sleep during the day.
My fourth session was interesting. I was a bit nervous before it, not sure for which reason. This time the effects were the strongest of all my sessions. While I was at least partly aware and had at least some distance to what I was experiencing in my previous sessions, the Ayahuasca totally took control this time and I was totally immersed in the experience without knowing that I had taken Ayahuasca. Meaning I did not know I was under the influence, I thought was is happening is reality. And I was in a dark reality, deep in a dark forest with scary, loud noises, terrifying images etc. I was utterly scared, my hands started shaking heavily, any thought I was trying to think to make things better back-fired and made things even worse. I was in a state of total panic. Suddenly, when I hit my breaking point a clear voice in my head said in a clear and calm tone: "Everything is always ok". Immediately, all terror, all fear fell away and I was in a totally calm state. But also in a state of positive shock and amazement. The rest of the trip, 3-4 more hours, were completely calm and relaxed.
To this day I wonder if this was a "higher self" speaking to me or if it was an emergency mechanism within myself that kicked in when I couldn't take the panic anymore, reassuring myself that everything is ok. I would like to clarify that "Everything is always ok" was not meant in a "calm down, everything is going to be ok" way, but rather as the realization, that behind or underneath everything that happens, there is always the foundation of everlasting peace and is-ness. Being aware of this neutralizes every negativity that happens on more superficial layers.
As you can imagine this trip was worth traveling to Peru. I am still very much working and processing the information. Have we really been created the way I experienced it? What was that voice telling me everything is always ok at my darkest hour? I can tell you Ayahuasca tastes pretty horrible, but I would do it again and again. Please feel free to comment, talk about your experiences and let me know what you think of what I have experienced.
Much love,
Childlike
I am back form the Jungle. I had the most amazing experience deep in the Peruvian Jungle drinking Ayahuasca 4 times in 7 days, at night, surrounded by the noises of nature, with a Shaman, chanting Icaros all night.
I am going to tell you straight what I experienced, without filter or judgement. I am still processing this.
My first session was most spectacular: Ayahuasca came over me like a warm wave, like entering a comfortable bathtub. Immediately I was communicating with beings that told me they were our creators. They told me that they created us on earth and had to move on. But they are always there for us. And I felt like I had always known this, that I had forgotten, but that this is of course the truth deep down. I felt like they were our dear creators, I felt like they were our beloved parents. I asked them why we have all this suffering on earth and they said they were sorry, they made a mistake, they had underestimated the development of the ego. I realized: would a perfect God create this world with this misery? And I realized that no, a perfect God wouldn't, only imperfect creators, who are more advanced than humanity. I experienced that our creators were imperfect, very good-meaning beings.
They told me what the goal of my life is: Just enjoy it! Walk the earth, see all countries, get to know people all over, have fun with them! The business world (that I work in) is a joke, a waste of time, get out of it! Stay with your girlfriend (I was in doubt). Treat your girl like a princess, make her happy every day! The communication was so clear, I was amazed.
I also remembered some scenes from my early childhood, scenes where I decided that life would not be as awesome as I though because something bad had happened, i.e my parents had divorced. I had decided that I am not as special as I thought because why would something like this happen to a special child. I remembered this and felt my pain as a small child. I saw several of these scenes during my first session.
My second session was more physically active: After about one hour I felt like moving and went outside the ceremony room and was standing outside in nature. The trees looked so alive, all the sounds, the leafs were their communication devices, it was fascinating. To me it felt like this session was there to build my confidence to go outside, explore the world, follow my curiosity, be courageous etc. Other episodes of this session were states of pure being and peace. A meditative state in which one accepts everything as it is, watches as the unmoved observer and is in peace with everything. A beautiful calmness for hours.
The third session was a lot of inner work. I worked through several issues like perfectionism, the realization that I need to show myself more love and a few other things I have now forgotten (this happens on Ayahuasca and DMT as most of you will know). I was pretty much super-tired after this session and really needed to sleep during the day.
My fourth session was interesting. I was a bit nervous before it, not sure for which reason. This time the effects were the strongest of all my sessions. While I was at least partly aware and had at least some distance to what I was experiencing in my previous sessions, the Ayahuasca totally took control this time and I was totally immersed in the experience without knowing that I had taken Ayahuasca. Meaning I did not know I was under the influence, I thought was is happening is reality. And I was in a dark reality, deep in a dark forest with scary, loud noises, terrifying images etc. I was utterly scared, my hands started shaking heavily, any thought I was trying to think to make things better back-fired and made things even worse. I was in a state of total panic. Suddenly, when I hit my breaking point a clear voice in my head said in a clear and calm tone: "Everything is always ok". Immediately, all terror, all fear fell away and I was in a totally calm state. But also in a state of positive shock and amazement. The rest of the trip, 3-4 more hours, were completely calm and relaxed.
To this day I wonder if this was a "higher self" speaking to me or if it was an emergency mechanism within myself that kicked in when I couldn't take the panic anymore, reassuring myself that everything is ok. I would like to clarify that "Everything is always ok" was not meant in a "calm down, everything is going to be ok" way, but rather as the realization, that behind or underneath everything that happens, there is always the foundation of everlasting peace and is-ness. Being aware of this neutralizes every negativity that happens on more superficial layers.
As you can imagine this trip was worth traveling to Peru. I am still very much working and processing the information. Have we really been created the way I experienced it? What was that voice telling me everything is always ok at my darkest hour? I can tell you Ayahuasca tastes pretty horrible, but I would do it again and again. Please feel free to comment, talk about your experiences and let me know what you think of what I have experienced.
Much love,
Childlike
