40mg - First Breakthrough. Ineffable Amazement.

[West-en]

Prologue
Okay, this all started earlier today when I and a friend weighed up 40mgs for me. The white crystals were then saved in a little piece of steel scouring. At least I think it was 40mg, the scale might be a bit off (10mg-scale, weighed up 160 and took 1/4th). This was then intended for use in the machine outside in the sunny day, but for some (quite complicated) reasons I decided I'll save it too some other time.

Thankfully, this other time decided it was a nice idea to show up tonight, about two hours ago. So, the steel was placed into the neck of a machine and a nice little temporary bed was placed on the floor with lots and lots of huge, soft pillows. The electronic lights were dampened, the computer shut off and a little candle was allowed to spread it's calm, soothing flickering light all over the room. Now was the time. I walked through my state of mind and I remember telling myself it wouldn't be so intense this time. I wouldn't breakthrough and it totally wouldn't change my perspective of life. Needless to say, all of this was quite wrongly assumed... Let me explain...

Report
I'm taking the first toke quite slowly, and while it fills my lungs I simultaneously force them to keep it. They don't like it, but 15 seconds isn't such a long time. A field of pure energy is creeping up on me, and I just know I got way to little. Second toke. Wait a sec... what am I holding!? Whatever it is, it sure as hell don't make any sense being all slippery, sloppery and organic! Is this really a proper use for...a machine? Should I breath in or throw it in the air and do a little dance? Hmmm, I think I do what I did 15 seconds ago in slowly and then throw it somewhere to make room for my body to meet the mattress in a flat position. Yeah, I'll do that... It can't possibly be enough, can it? Closing eyes now, preparing for take off (like that's going to happen, heh)..3..2..1..

..SVOOOOOOSCH! What the...? What's happened to ordinary third dimensional orientation? And what is those things? Or is it the environment? Or maybe living creatures? Or all they all...the same!?
Life, motion and ineffable space suddenly seem to be nowhere and everywhere. From all corners and edges (or rather, their corresponding hyper-dimensional cousins) there's movement. There are obviously elves, all over the place. They are constantly flying through each other and mixing into the organic soup that I presume this place is made of.

A countable elf suddenly appear in front of me and is busy holding an object. He's hinting me to look at it. Okay, fine, I'll take a look... but wait... how can that be... "Sir, you seem te be mistaken! The mix of organic, non-organic and hyper-organic lump of matter you're showing me can't possibly exist. It's impossible. It can't even exist as an idea, even less in the form of visual information. Please explain!"

Svooosh! The elf is suddenly gone, and a new one has taken it's place. This time holding something that seems to be my lighter (or something like it) but extended in at least one other dimension. It's silvery, it's shiny, but it isn't making any sense. The elf is turning it over and rotating it in directions I did not even dare to dream possible! Assumable telling my with great eager "Oh, look at this! Please, it's so neat! Look what It can do...". Elf no. 2 is gone in the same time-frame he arrived, and yet another has taken it's place.

This circular rotation of creatures and corresponding objects seem to be going on for quite some time, but there's a huge amount of variety. From all sort of directions, the creatures are constantly trying to make it's way to the front to get me to direct my attention at precisely them. Sometimes they stick something in my mouth; something long, blue and flexible. Sometimes they miss, hit my chin, and give me a quite real feeling of being touched. I'm for the moment of course very astonished. So astonished my ordinary train of thoughts seem to have been silenced by silence itself, if that makes any sense.

The visit has suddenly come to an end, and they are fading into the void they came from. Or maybe I'm fading? I'm suddenly, for the first time, trying to make myself heard. I try to call for some sort of escort on the way back, since I feel I need some calm closure on the bumpy ride. I get no answer, and then, then I feel a strong wave of confusion. The creatures seem to be asking themselves what the point of my request is and they seem to do this for quite a while.

Conclusion and retrospection
This experience got to be the most utterly insane and bizarre one I've experienced to this date! The place I spent approximately 6 minutes in had a strong circus look to it. There where these creatures I call elves flying all over the place, and they seemed coloured like something found in an amusement park. I felt so astonished and surprised that I could not fully direct my attention at anything. Everything was so weird and fast-paced that I did not seem to have the calm and sane mind needed to sort a single thought out.

Directly after the experience I opened my eyes, sat up and shouted out loud "What the fuck just happened!?" a couple of times before I felt I had re-adjusted to this very stable third-dimensional space and body I'm normally so deeply familiar with. I then continued to explain as much as possible, but I found it very, very hard to put anything into ANY meaningful words. It just was a huge mess and I couldn't believe that I had experienced what I just saw and felt. I know how people at extreme events say they can't believe their eyes, but I can honestly say I couldn't even believe my mind.

It's worth noticing that everything in my ordinary world seem to confuse me for quite some time after the trip. My mind couldn't seem to collect the focus needed to do such simple tasks like cleaning up after myself. Everything in my mind was a mess (and still is to some degree). I don't think I'll ever look upon this world in the way I did before any more either. My perspective seem to be so much more clean and truthful, like I've gotten a deep, cold reboot of my consciousness.

Everything I've experienced before with DMT isn't even remotely compatible for a comparison to this. I thought I knew what I talked about, cause I've seen both elves, membranes and fractals. But I hadn't even seen a drop of a totally and utterly wonderful ocean of love and amazement. I now know different. I've had a breakthrough.

Previous reports
45mg - subbreakthrough delight

 

[Cakes]

and I just know I got way to little.

this thought might have to be shunned if you are looking for love. not as a philosophical point so much as a discipline of the mind because Truth is, love does not come from drugs.

 

[Morphane]

and I just know I got way to little.

this thought might have to be shunned if you are looking for love. not as a philosophical point so much as a discipline of the mind because Truth is, love does not come from drugs.

Could you please explain what you mean?

 

[lonewolf123]

I think he's referring to love coming from within, I dont know what that has to do with what West-en was talking about though.....

Good report Kiddo, youre do for a raise!

 

[Cakes]

love is Given from within but it Comes from others. so if you Want love you have to get it from others.

what i meant was, it is good to maintain clarity of path. it can not only be a help in achieving goal(s) but also it can help avoid danger. like an athlete that trains his body. or a musician who practices scales. I said it because, from the sound of the story, it looks like West-en is in danger of serious drug addiction, perhaps because he is confusing the drug with the goal. he may be lacking clarity.

it appears he hungers for something terribly and his body is trying to get it from the drug. his entire experience seems centered on the battle.

while it fills my lungs I simultaneously force them to keep it. They don't like it, but 15 seconds isn't such a long time...Hmmm, I think I do what I did 15 seconds ago

automaton behavior may be sign of someone in danger of drug addiction. or it can be someone striving blindly to a worthy goal. The elves seem to be asking him over and over to clarify his goal.

"Sir, you seem te be mistaken! The mix of organic, non-organic and hyper-organic lump of matter you're showing me can't possibly exist. It's impossible. It can't even exist as an idea, even less in the form of visual information. Please explain!"

this appears to be a challenge to accept Hyperspace as independent of DMT. i.e. IS this possible or is it a drug induced illusion.

From all sort of directions, the creatures are constantly trying to make it's way to the front to get me to direct my attention at precisely them. Sometimes they stick something in my mouth; something long, blue and flexible. Sometimes they miss, hit my chin, and give me a quite real feeling of being touched.

the idea that this could be 'real time' automaton behavior of trying to smoke more alarmed me for West-en. is he trying to smoke more and poking himself with the pipe stem? or is it elves offering Themselves (and their love) repeatedly in turn with offering the drug.

The creatures seem to be asking themselves what the point of my request is

 

[embracethevoid]

I get the impression that West-en got too little smoke. As we all know, the field of energy doesn't "creep up on you", it hits you like a bloody ton of bricks. Unless of course an MAOI is involved.

 

[opticuswrangler]

Impossible toys and extend-able drinking tubes seem to be regular motifs in hyperspace.

 

[West-en]

what i meant was, it is good to maintain clarity of path. it can not only be a help in achieving goal(s) but also it can help avoid danger. like an athlete that trains his body. or a musician who practices scales. I said it because, from the sound of the story, it looks like West-en is in danger of serious drug addiction, perhaps because he is confusing the drug with the goal. he may be lacking clarity.

I'm quite certain I'm not falling into any addiction. I've used DMT quite seldom, mostly because I need someone to watch over me while visiting hyperspace. I also see spice as a tool to reach a certain goal, and not as a goal itself.

it appears he hungers for something terribly and his body is trying to get it from the drug. his entire experience seems centered on the battle.

This is a strange analysis I haven't really thought about before. Sure, ever since I had my first experience with spice I've been searching for a breakthrough. I can't say that there was any battle though, I didn't really believe I would break through so I got very astonished by doing exactly what I wasn't expecting. Maybe the elves found me to be ready for the experience?

automaton behavior may be sign of someone in danger of drug addiction. or it can be someone striving blindly to a worthy goal. The elves seem to be asking him over and over to clarify his goal.

I loosed the full understanding of the workings of the machine. If I hadn't had it already in my hand and positioned correctly when this strange feeling hit me, I wouldn't have succeed with the task of taking the second toke. I did succeed though, by simply repeating what I did last time. The world and it's meanings were falling apart in front of my eyes and I don't really how you see this as an indication of an addiction.
I think you're right about the goal though. I've had a very vague idea about what a breakthrough actually IS before. Now it's suddenly more clear than ever. Yesterday my goal was to reach a full breakthrough, now it will be further exploration of hyperspace.

this appears to be a challenge to accept Hyperspace as independent of DMT. i.e. IS this possible or is it a drug induced illusion.

I didn't really think of it like that when it happened. I was simply so astonished by the fact that what I was seeing something that isn't possible in a normal euclidian three dimensional space. It's something more complex, something I've thought about before, but not even come close to visualizing or understanding. I simply couldn't believe what I was seeing! A close analogy would be that of suddenly seeing a new colour.

the idea that this could be 'real time' automaton behavior of trying to smoke more alarmed me for West-en. is he trying to smoke more and poking himself with the pipe stem? or is it elves offering Themselves (and their love) repeatedly in turn with offering the drug.

I'm sorry but I can't see any truth in that interpretation. The "pipe" I was using is a machine which basically is a re-built single serving alcoholic beverage. The blue thingies I was shown was very similar to ordinary straws, except they were twisting and turning. I'm now considering they were introducing me to some sort of drink, or an analogy of it.

I get the impression that West-en got too little smoke. As we all know, the field of energy doesn't "creep up on you", it hits you like a bloody ton of bricks. Unless of course an MAOI is involved.

I don't believe it was to little for my level of experience! I saw a first glimpse of hyperspace in a way I haven't seen it before and I'm very happy for it. I was very ecstatic upon re-entering my physical body, I simply was so amazed!

Btw, the report itself is written in present tense, but I'm not all that good at grammatical tenses since English isn't my ordinary language so I have to excuse myself for that. I'm not even that good at switching between tenses in my native language!

 

[memo]

Nice report West-en. It sounds to me like Cakes does not have a good reference point in his analysis of your report. I probably just wouldn't respond. Congratulations!!

 

[lonewolf123]

love is Given from within but it Comes from others. so if you Want love you have to get it from others.

Love from others is how youre percieving others attitude and behaviour towards you.... Next time you are recieving 'love' from others, see if they have an angle.... Seems like a scam waiting to happen....

I dont see how anything that West-en wrote looked like addiction. It seems like a recurring theme on this forum of people not being able to get their full doses in (also not knowing if hyperspace is real or not and challenging invisible friends), and if you want to get to experience 40mg, you might be worried about your technique and thinking you messed up. I know I think that all the time, than I realize I dont know where I am , than I realize I got my full dose.....than I wonder if I smoked the spice at all...ahhhh...good times

Anyway, I just think its a little early to be calling addiction on someone, even if you have the best intentions.... just my opinion.

But youre still alright in my book, Cakes

 

[Cakes]

thank you.

and no, i was not calling addiction on anyone. but it is irresponsible/unfaithful to The Family if you do not raise the question once you see the possibility. and thank you West-en for alleviating my concern.

I was seeing something that isn't possible in a normal euclidian three dimensional space

and yet you saw it From your Own euclidian three dimensional space. so even though they might have been lying, i doubt you were.

Next time you are recieving 'love' from others, see if they have an angle.... Seems like a scam waiting to happen..

i hate it when that happens but rest assured it is not a Completely worldwide phenomena.

 

[lonewolf123]

Quote:
Next time you are recieving 'love' from others, see if they have an angle.... Seems like a scam waiting to happen..
i hate it when that happens but rest assured it is not a Completely worldwide phenomena.

I don't mean that everyone giving off the vibe of love is a liar waiting to scam you, Im saying that the vibe of love they are giving off is coming from within them, hence you dont really know what emotion they are feeling. Someones love can be contagious, like laughter, but like laughter, it has to come from within you. I can be laughing with someone, while that person is laughing at me. Love from someone else is perception, love from yourself is a real feeling. I dont know if I explained myself all to well in this one ;/

But I agree with you, if someone in this community is showing signs of addiction, they should be called out for their own benefit. I just didn't see it in West-ens post, but if you felt you did, you had every right to say something....

 

[West-en]

I dont see how anything that West-en wrote looked like addiction. It seems like a recurring theme on this forum of people not being able to get their full doses in (also not knowing if hyperspace is real or not and challenging invisible friends), and if you want to get to experience 40mg, you might be worried about your technique and thinking you messed up. I know I think that all the time, than I realize I dont know where I am , than I realize I got my full dose.....than I wonder if I smoked the spice at all...ahhhh...good times

That's it exactly! You can't really know if you've gotten the dose you called for at that very moment before you've peaked in your trip. I was prepared for an ordinary sub-breakthrough before the peak, and look at how wrong I was...
The spice works in mysterious ways...

and no, i was not calling addiction on anyone. but it is irresponsible/unfaithful to The Family if you do not raise the question once you see the possibility. and thank you West-en for alleviating my concern.

And thank you for alleviating you concern from the beginning!
I have to admit I found it a bit accusing for a while, but it's still something that's better done than left out (searching for harmful use that is). I hope I've calmed you all though. I'm a person who'll immediately rethink my relation to the substance in question and ask for help if I notice ANY signs of ANY bad use. I simply respect mind altering drugs VERY INTENSELY.

I was seeing something that isn't possible in a normal euclidian three dimensional space

and yet you saw it From your Own euclidian three dimensional space. so even though they might have been lying, i doubt you were.

How do you mean? What I saw I cannot possibly fit in an ordinary third dimensional space, that was my point from the start. The things I saw DID NOT behave or let themselves be watched in any normal way you watch objects in your every day life with your eyes. I believe the mind is more powerful and limitless than the physical eyes.

 

[○]

Awesome report man. Clearly written and definitely no drug addiction here..at least to me.

Whether a vast energetic field of the mind where archtypes symbolize the parts of mind or something altogether different from our objective freestanding reality...no words do the justice except for the experience itself.

 

[Cakes]

kind of fun(?) that the two are not exclusionary

I have to admit I found it a bit accusing for a while

sorry, i should have told a joke or put a smilie first so you knew i liked you because of course it wasn't personal. afterall, even if someone was headed down the wrong path, it could not be at all a reflection on them to date if they had no foreknowledge.

Love from someone else is perception

ok. i see your point. we were talking about different definitions. i would have said "a Feeling like Love" or "lovely feelings" are perceived while True Love would exist whether we perceived it or not.

i additionally Believe in defining Love as a verb, i.e. actively imparting physical manifestations of goodness regardless of my feelings that day; ex: calling your mother even if you don't feel like it. would she perceive the love? hard to say but nonetheless it would be existing. for sure she would perceive a lack of it were i not to call.

it is to these fine points of logic i was referring when i said Love does not come from Drugs because they are confused at your peril; one is self-supporting but the other is not to date. i do acknowledge that lovely Feelings can come from drugs. also drugs can increase the propensity within you to give Love.

so, drugs given to yourself from yourself can be selflove but the drugs is Just the gift, it is not the love.

How do you mean? The things I saw DID NOT behave or let themselves be watched in any normal way you watch objects in your every day life with your eyes.

what i mean, what i Always and ONLY mean, is, the above statement needs a few extra words added at the end: "before". i.e. i never was aware of such possibilities 'before'.

 

[Espiridion]

..
.
It could be that you are unclear with your words or that I am misinterpreting, but...

I am gonna go out on a limb here and assume that Cakes has never tried the spice. If that is the case, please either do so before wrapping opinions around others or simply ask questions in order to fully familiarize yourself(as best one can) before you do try it.

DMT and addiction are antipodes of one another. Until you go for yourself and see the healing, wisdom and beauty that spice offers, you really have no solid footing for judgement.


This forum is chock full of valuable information and insight. I see by the number of posts you are new here. Perhaps some browsing through older posts would enlighten you as to the nature of this centuries-old substance.

We are not addicts, we are travelers.


Peace,

J
.
.

 

[Morphane]

Cakes speaks with an authority that is intriguing.

 

[Cakes]

thanks Morphane. perhaps it is because i am a grandmother and so have had more time to practice speaking my mind than others have yet had time for.

the spice...fully familiarize yourself

i was speaking mainly to addiction and love. and addiction to love is a very real thing. so much so that without it you can die.

also, it is my understanding that "the" spice is not actually a singular compound. nor is it even as singular as A plant that has sub-strains (like cannabis). it is not even contained to a specific Species of plants. it is not even contained to Plants at all. to say "the spice" has no addiction potential is simply impossible at this time given so many variables.

I am gonna go out on a limb here and assume that Cakes has never tried the spice.

ok, ok, it's not a lot but i'll post a trip report.

 

[lonewolf123]

thanks Morphane. perhaps it is because i am a grandmother and so have had more time to practice speaking my mind than others have yet had time for.

the spice...fully familiarize yourself

i was speaking mainly to addiction and love. and addiction to love is a very real thing. so much so that without it you can die.

also, it is my understanding that "the" spice is not actually a singular compound. nor is it even as singular as A plant that has sub-strains (like cannabis). it is not even contained to a specific Species of plants. it is not even contained to Plants at all. to say "the spice" has no addiction potential is simply impossible at this time given so many variables.

I am gonna go out on a limb here and assume that Cakes has never tried the spice.

ok, ok, it's not a lot but i'll post a trip report.

You may have practice speaking your mind for a thousand lifetimes, that doesnt make any of it worth listening to....

And i'm pretty sure love wouldnt be classified a physical addiction....

I speak all of this out of love....

 

[Garulfo]

it looks like West-en is in danger of serious drug addiction, perhaps because he is confusing the drug with the goal. he may be lacking clarity.

Looks like there is a danger of confusion with what we mean by 'Love'
The feeling of love that ones can experiment, especially thru the 'help' of a drug, is maybe one of the 'purest' form of Love.
It is love without object to love. Or love for everything (including objects).
Love from others is just a concept, an ideal.
Nobody can 'feel' other's love.
The love from others only exist as a possible consequence of each one 'inner' love. Well, in the end this is the same thing :lol:

And i'm pretty sure love wouldnt be classified a physical addiction....

"Beeing in love" is probably a physical addiction to somehow known neurotransmeters and hormones but I guess we are not speaking about this here.