zknarc
Rising Star
PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: I suffer from depression, this was an average day for me. Had a psychotherapy session that morning which had gone well
(physical condition) Set: OK
Setting (location): bedroom (I prefer to have the experience in bed).
time of day: late afternoon, light turning to dark
recent drug use: Lamictal 200mg (morning)
last meal: sandwich T-2hrs
PARTICIPANT
Gender: m
body weight: 65kg
known sensitivities: none. 60mg DMT taken the same way gave a strong to very strong 1.5hr experience.
history of use: DMT twice before. No other substances
BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Moclobemide, DMT red ‘wax’ left from re-x of pulls (pulls and re-x with hexane)
Dose(s): 300mg, 70mg
Method of administration: oral (washed down with water)
EFFECTS
Administration time: Moclobemide (MAOI) T-02:30
Duration: 4hrs
First effects: T+00:30
Peak: T+1:30-3:00
Come down: T+04:00
Baseline: T+05:00
Intensity (overall): 4 (extremely)
Evaluation / notes: really huge experience, unexpected
AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0. note: nausea after coming down, small amount of fresh ginger quelled it
Afterglow: 0. I got the ‘put through the emotional mill’ feeling I get from DMT and other emotional experiences for 3 days for a while after waking
REPORT
I should point out I suffer from depression and three months ago had a breakdown that meant I could no longer continue with my job or live alone. I have been in psychotherapy for 2 years and tried 16 different drugs. My reasons for using DMT are to hopefully help me work with my depression.
This experience was unexpected in intensity. I had read that the red waxy stuff left over from a re-x of reddish spice could have some DMT left but nothing prepared me for this 4hr epic ride. I thought I’d write this report as it points to the large strength in the red ‘wax’ left over on re-x and also oral DMT with pharma MAOI which doesn’t seem to be very common.
Unlike my previous two experiences I decided to have music, usually I am very sensitive to any distraction but decided to try; I selected music I resonate with most: downbeat but quite beautiful. This turned out to be a very good choice, previously I have had problems with my mind fighting the experience and fear but somehow the music seemed to keep some reference or direct things in the early stages. This was also noted as a key part in “The Secret Chief” written by a therapist who used psychedelics with his clients under the radar for years.
I’ll skip over the onset as I imagine most are familiar and not the most interesting part. For me the actual visuals are not that important and just lead the way before senses all merge into each other. All there is to notes is that this was a much smoother/rounded less ‘spikey’ and less chemical feeling experience than I have had with very pure wight spice. There was no hyperspace breakthrough, the transition deeper was smoother. I much preferred this.
The first thing that came up was seeing my walk up to my therapist’s house over and over then seeing us in third person. I could intensely feel the care that she has for me that I have so often denied or refused to acknowledge due to my attachment problems in relationships. What is amazing about DMT for me is the way I really ‘become’ the feelings.
As things went deeper and more abstract I saw a blue and purple face-like shape and felt amazingly deeply cared for and secure. Soon this feeling for care was so overwhelming I cried for for seemed like hours with tears feeling like they were falling through my head. It felt more like positive acknowledging the pain I suffer and sorrow than depressing. I really didn’t want this feeling to end and managed to keep looping that part of the music. This moved on and I had a visual of a orange and blue lines and the feeling of being intensely loved in purest form and that no matter what happened in my life that as long as I was loved that was all that mattered. Then I was shown an abstract entity I knew to be me that was slashed, stabbed and bleeding - it was a bit scary but more sorrowful than terrifying. I then had a profound sense that there were bounds around me that would always keep me safe.
I felt like this was the perfect ‘therapeutic’ dose but this was only really the start of what was coming. Next I entered the stage where senses blurred together and where form, colour etc. no longer have much meaning and things become hard to describe. I call this some kind of feeling realm where I am what I feel and that is all that exists. Now I knew true beauty, just absolute all consuming beauty and wonder to the very depth of my soul. It was so strong I could scarcely contain it and I thought how futile any pursuit was for perfection by mankind and that is wasn’t necessary. This lasted for a long while and was totally awe inspiring, I may have had tears streaming - at this point I had no idea. I felt how much I had neglected the emotional and affectionate part of myself. My education and work is all engineering and business and this part of myself was crying out from neglect and perhaps a strong and largest part of who I was.
After this it went even deeper and I died. I’m not sure how I knew I had died but it happened over and over again. I had the sense that nothing mattered at all because I believed I was dead. Somewhere I found that I had chosen to be born who I was and chose to come back to the world. After this I slowly started to come back but felt I had to keep struggling to ‘come back’ level by level and I’d drift off into death with my life slipping away. Eventually I was back enough to hang on and slowly enter reality again.
Though this is a very positive experience for most of it, it was by no means fun and it is hard to state just how very harrowing much of it was. It went on and on and deeper and deeper and I was not sure I could cope.
The ‘red wax’ packs one hell of a punch.
(mind)Set: I suffer from depression, this was an average day for me. Had a psychotherapy session that morning which had gone well
(physical condition) Set: OK
Setting (location): bedroom (I prefer to have the experience in bed).
time of day: late afternoon, light turning to dark
recent drug use: Lamictal 200mg (morning)
last meal: sandwich T-2hrs
PARTICIPANT
Gender: m
body weight: 65kg
known sensitivities: none. 60mg DMT taken the same way gave a strong to very strong 1.5hr experience.
history of use: DMT twice before. No other substances
BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Moclobemide, DMT red ‘wax’ left from re-x of pulls (pulls and re-x with hexane)
Dose(s): 300mg, 70mg
Method of administration: oral (washed down with water)
EFFECTS
Administration time: Moclobemide (MAOI) T-02:30
Duration: 4hrs
First effects: T+00:30
Peak: T+1:30-3:00
Come down: T+04:00
Baseline: T+05:00
Intensity (overall): 4 (extremely)
Evaluation / notes: really huge experience, unexpected
AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0. note: nausea after coming down, small amount of fresh ginger quelled it
Afterglow: 0. I got the ‘put through the emotional mill’ feeling I get from DMT and other emotional experiences for 3 days for a while after waking
REPORT
I should point out I suffer from depression and three months ago had a breakdown that meant I could no longer continue with my job or live alone. I have been in psychotherapy for 2 years and tried 16 different drugs. My reasons for using DMT are to hopefully help me work with my depression.
This experience was unexpected in intensity. I had read that the red waxy stuff left over from a re-x of reddish spice could have some DMT left but nothing prepared me for this 4hr epic ride. I thought I’d write this report as it points to the large strength in the red ‘wax’ left over on re-x and also oral DMT with pharma MAOI which doesn’t seem to be very common.
Unlike my previous two experiences I decided to have music, usually I am very sensitive to any distraction but decided to try; I selected music I resonate with most: downbeat but quite beautiful. This turned out to be a very good choice, previously I have had problems with my mind fighting the experience and fear but somehow the music seemed to keep some reference or direct things in the early stages. This was also noted as a key part in “The Secret Chief” written by a therapist who used psychedelics with his clients under the radar for years.
I’ll skip over the onset as I imagine most are familiar and not the most interesting part. For me the actual visuals are not that important and just lead the way before senses all merge into each other. All there is to notes is that this was a much smoother/rounded less ‘spikey’ and less chemical feeling experience than I have had with very pure wight spice. There was no hyperspace breakthrough, the transition deeper was smoother. I much preferred this.
The first thing that came up was seeing my walk up to my therapist’s house over and over then seeing us in third person. I could intensely feel the care that she has for me that I have so often denied or refused to acknowledge due to my attachment problems in relationships. What is amazing about DMT for me is the way I really ‘become’ the feelings.
As things went deeper and more abstract I saw a blue and purple face-like shape and felt amazingly deeply cared for and secure. Soon this feeling for care was so overwhelming I cried for for seemed like hours with tears feeling like they were falling through my head. It felt more like positive acknowledging the pain I suffer and sorrow than depressing. I really didn’t want this feeling to end and managed to keep looping that part of the music. This moved on and I had a visual of a orange and blue lines and the feeling of being intensely loved in purest form and that no matter what happened in my life that as long as I was loved that was all that mattered. Then I was shown an abstract entity I knew to be me that was slashed, stabbed and bleeding - it was a bit scary but more sorrowful than terrifying. I then had a profound sense that there were bounds around me that would always keep me safe.
I felt like this was the perfect ‘therapeutic’ dose but this was only really the start of what was coming. Next I entered the stage where senses blurred together and where form, colour etc. no longer have much meaning and things become hard to describe. I call this some kind of feeling realm where I am what I feel and that is all that exists. Now I knew true beauty, just absolute all consuming beauty and wonder to the very depth of my soul. It was so strong I could scarcely contain it and I thought how futile any pursuit was for perfection by mankind and that is wasn’t necessary. This lasted for a long while and was totally awe inspiring, I may have had tears streaming - at this point I had no idea. I felt how much I had neglected the emotional and affectionate part of myself. My education and work is all engineering and business and this part of myself was crying out from neglect and perhaps a strong and largest part of who I was.
After this it went even deeper and I died. I’m not sure how I knew I had died but it happened over and over again. I had the sense that nothing mattered at all because I believed I was dead. Somewhere I found that I had chosen to be born who I was and chose to come back to the world. After this I slowly started to come back but felt I had to keep struggling to ‘come back’ level by level and I’d drift off into death with my life slipping away. Eventually I was back enough to hang on and slowly enter reality again.
Though this is a very positive experience for most of it, it was by no means fun and it is hard to state just how very harrowing much of it was. It went on and on and deeper and deeper and I was not sure I could cope.
The ‘red wax’ packs one hell of a punch.
