6 months post brain damage - a warning

[EphemeralTruth]

Fellow seekers of consciousness,

I posted about this shortly after it happened, but I wanted to follow up with a further warning and petition for knowledge and help. 6 months ago, on June 17th, I tried my very first Pharma experience using 65mg of personally extracted / re-x'd DMT and 180mg of Harmine and 50 mg of THH, taken orally with orange juice and a piece of plain white bread afterward.

I had used the harmine sublingually before and it had the expected effect with smoked DMT.

While the DMT was active for about 3 hours (a light experience), whatever was in those powders created a massive bright spotlight in my head, overpowering the DMT and making the experience quite miserable. It lasted through the night into the next day. For a week after this, I got strong headaches every day, with a feeling of being mentally "burnt". About 3 weeks later, I tried an LSD trip that went horribly. As an experienced psychonaut, it was not the LSD trip itself but something related to the serotonin system that powers it--it felt like I was in an ash tray, and my brain felt horribly burnt the entire time. Again, severe headaches followed for a week after this trip. At this point I realized there was real damage, and based on advice on this forum completely stopped psychedelic use for 3 months.

17mg of 4-ACO at the 3 month point produced a trip that started to take off, then collapsed. It was as if the receptors couldn't support the psychedelic effect and gave up. This was an uncomfortable experience, and again resulted in headaches for several days. I waited another 3 months and tried 25mg of 4-ACO this past weekend. This time the trip went through its full course, but the entire peak felt like I was being electrocuted, and as if pleasure was something behind a pane of glass that I could almost touch but not quite. Clearly, 6 months later, the damage persists.

I have no idea how 180mg of harmine and 50mg of the unknown THH powder could have caused this kind of brain damage, but I now worry I will never be able to use any serotonin-based psychedelic again. For me, who has gotten such incredible growth, solace, wisdom, and grace from psychedelics, this is very hard to bear, an ultimate loss.

I post this as a warning, and as a plea for help and hope. A big part of me worries that if it hasn't healed in 6 months, it won't heal at all. I've been using Magnesium Glycinate and Lions Mane daily for the last 6 months, but at this point I would TRY any possible roads to healing.

Thank you, stay safe, and love to all of you.

 

[Sabnock1990]

Unless the Harmine or THH (i would think moreso THH) was somehow contaminated or mixed with some kind of chemical, it would not lead to brain or receptor damage. With THH, due to it likely being a chemical reduction from Harmaline, i would think, it could potentially have some residual heavy metal contamination, like Zinc or perhaps Magnesium, whatever people use to do the reduction, especially if it wasn't purified after conversion.

What do you mean exactly by a bright spotlight in your head?

As for the 4-ACO, i was gonna say at 17mgs you probably had the right effect, 17mgs would likely cause a bit of come up but then just stop and not go any further and after a bit the leftover effects would fade, not really causing an experience, i've had that happen with low dosages of oral DMT for example. Then you said you tried 25mgs and it ran it's proper course.

As for the feeling of being electrocuted, what exactly do you mean? Are you referring to "brain zaps" or like some physical full-body electric jolts? I've had brain zaps sometimes with Aya, felt good to me but was a little startling lol. I've also had times where i'd get hardcore itchy on random spots of my body that felt like being poked with a red hot stick. Can't say i've ever felt like was being physically electrocuted though.

Another thing that comes to mind though, is the Magnesium. Now, there was a time when i had mixed Magnesium Oxide and Zinc Gluconate with my Aya, for some reason which i do not remember lol, but i do remember the Zinc would cause me a different kind of brain zap, it was very alarming and startling, felt more negative to me than the brain zaps i'd experienced on Aya prior, and i'd get this radio static and buzzing sound alongside the jolts, and that happened because of the Zinc. At the same time, the Magnesium caused this weird effect alongside the Zinc zaps/jolts where my heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest, and i had some heart palpitations and chest pain, scared the shit out of me, didn't include Zinc or Magnesium with my Aya after that and i definitely stayed away from the Zinc after that. One time i drank some dark chocolate almond milk while on Aya sometime after that, and noticed the almond milk had Zinc Gluconate in there, although it was like the last ingredient on the list so there wasn't much Zinc in it but it was still enough to notice the same Zinc zaps and radio static/buzzing sound albeit more mildly. So idk if the Magnesium Glycinate would affect anything at all, but Magnesium does antagonize the NMDA receptor to some degree apparently, but idk if that'd affect anything either. But it's worth keeping in mind, just in case. The Lion's Mane, idk much about, so idk if that'd affect anything or not. Even though it's probably not the Lion's Mane, you'd be surprised at what all can alter Psychedelic experiences, even simple plants or fungi or compounds can alter things quite dramatically.

But yeah i've taken Rue seed (usually 3 to 4.5 grams), Harmala extracts (usually 200mgs, but have gone overboard on it quite a few times with the dosage being unknown lol), pure Harmine (up to 300mgs), and pure THH (up to 300mgs), and i've taken Harmalas (Harmine/Harmaline/Rue) daily in high dosages for months on end and took it alongside oral DMT daily/near daily for 4 years straight, so i've consumed a lot of Harmalas, can't say they've affected me in any negative or damaging way, i actually feel quite healthy on them and never had any adverse effects or withdrawal effects. So if you suspect the Harmalas, then me personally i would suspect the THH possibly being impure or containing some sort of contamination, but 50mgs of THH even if contaminated, i don't think would be enough to cause an issue.

And as far as DMT goes, that shouldn't be an issue either.

Were you consuming anything else around when you first noticed this? Any supplements, herbal teas, medications, drugs, essential oils, anything?

I can say with certainty that neither Harmalas nor DMT caused brain damage, the THH may have been contaminated perhaps with excess Zinc but 50mgs isn't that much so any contamination, i would think, wouldn't be much issue if at all. Idk about the headaches though.

 

[CatFractals]

I've known many people to have taken months off due similar happenings, however I haven't seen this particular case anywhere yet on the forum. Sadly the only help I can offer is to obviously just keep waiting. Overtime it should heal, damage can take awhile to heal. Everyone's process seems to vary. It does seem likes its getting better based on your post! So just keep at it. Stay positive.

I don't know how your getting headaches that severe when your taking THH and DMT.

ShamensStamen covers my concerns too

And as far as DMT goes, that shouldn't be an issue either.

Were you consuming anything else around when you first noticed this? Any supplements, herbal teas, medications, drugs, essential oils, anything?

I can say with certainty that neither Harmalas nor DMT caused brain damage, the THH may have been contaminated perhaps with excess Zinc but 50mgs isn't that much so any contamination, i would think, wouldn't be much issue if at all. Idk about the headaches though.

Its understandably sad when your not able to experience psychedelics right now but don't let it worry you.

 

[RoundAbout]

I realize you're posting the sources out of concern for others, but...

Testing the material might be worthwhile.

 

[EphemeralTruth]

I was careful not to mix any other supplements with pharma, I even discontinued my multivitamin a couple of days prior to the trip. The magnesium and lion's mane was only taken after the incident to help with brain healing.

I strongly suspect that the THH from Bounty Botanicals was not THH, or contaminated. The harmala powders definitely caused the damage, and I had already tried the harmine previously, so that only leaves the other powder. I was trying to use moderate responsible doses, especially for a first attempt. Unfortunately, the "spotlight" feeling is hard to describe unless you feel it, but it was like a massive surge load on the serotonin receptors that made the DMT feel like it was happening in the middle of the sun, and basically left my system burnt out and damaged.

I've done many trips on 4-ACO, so the light trial trips have been relatively controlled diagnostics, and it's clear that significant damage still remains at the 6 month point. The electrocution feeling isn't "brain zaps" (I know those from previous experiences, they are mild and not bad). It's more like the whole system that supports the psychedelic experience is fried and struggling to transmit the signals, or perhaps even that the "motherboard" of the brain is damaged (that's how it feels, I can't say what that would be physically). Pleasure is numbed, there's a strong headache, an uncomfortable feeling of throbbing electricity, and a feeling of strain and short-circuiting. Basically, it's bad enough that tripping is untenable.

 

[dragonrider]

Do you still have some of that THH? If so, you could have it tested.

I would not despair. 6 months seems a long time, but the healing process continues.
It doesn't just stop after 6 months.

I think the best thing to do, is trying to find some other activities that give you a genuine feeling of satisfaction.

Something new, without any expectations.

That would be an organic way to rewire yourself.

If you cannot find satisfaction in life, you will not find it in psychedelics either.
So finding it in life itself is your real journey now.

If damage has indeed occured, your brain would have to learn how to produce this sensation again.
And i think finding something new in life that gives you satisfaction, is the best way to learn it.

 

[Sunnyside]

As the Dragonrider points out, you might step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

Overall health - physical, emotional, mental - could be examined.

Diet and exercise - is there room for modification? Reduce caffeine, for example? Or change to a more plant-based diet? Make sure you get that walk in, every day?

Your social world - these are screwy times, but we need to keep in touch with each other, to some degree, anyway.

I make no judgements, and have no idea, the things I tossed out are just some examples that might get you started on examining the many factors that could play into the long-term success that the others encourage and that you seek. There may be no single answer, other than time, but all the others' comments are sound suggestions.

 

[EphemeralTruth]

I do have the THH, and would be happy to send it to anyone who might be able to get it analyzed.

I've definitely used the last 6 months well. I began the spiritual path and have really transformed my ways of thinking and mindfulness, and continue to make progress towards spiritual awakening. I've read 15 books and learned all about ego, survival, emotions, self, bias, deception, perspectivalism, and many other topics. I exercise 5 times a week, meditate every day, and am about to start a new and challenging job in business. I've improved many of my relationships, my communication, and even my emotional reactions. Life is by no means lost

But still, psychedelics are a rich and powerful tool for my mental health, growth, and well being, and they remind me of my connection to the universe and the profundity of life--something that easily gets lost in the day to day grind. I will continue to hope for healing, and appreciate the kind support of this group.

On the subject of recovery, would something like Genius Mindfulness possibly be helpful? I've also considered microdosing LSD... maybe it would act as a "weight training" program for my brain to gradually help restore functionality?

 

[Jin]

I would also advice you to get that THH analysed ,

this is probably time to rest and heal , in time you should be back to your old self

Edit: with your previous post I can already see you're on the right path , just give it some time now

 

[CatFractals]

you got the THH from .... you said?

(link removed by mod)

I bought that before seeing your post. Planned on a pharmachanga experience till you mentioned that. I'll have to test mine in that case too.

Once yours is tested please leave him a much needed review if it does end up being the case.

 

[endlessness]

Guys please avoid any mention of suppliers in this thread.

As explained in the attitude section, the only supplier discussion allowed is for live plants and seeds, nothing else.

We highly recommend people to extract their own products, and do the thh conversion themselves

That way you can be sure you are not consuming contaminated/mislabelled products.

We understand some people will still purchase products online, but we just ask that this is not discussed or linked here in the forum.

For harm reduction sake we are working on a database that will be outside the Nexus for exactly such cases, where people will be able to share results of their products testing.

In the meanwhile, I highly recommend you guys test your products if you have any doubts. Unfortunately I can't offer the free lab testing anymore for the moment but you can either choose paid lab testing such as Energy Control or Solaris Analytical (cheaper), or at least test with TLC and maybe some heavy-metal test kit in the case of THH

Good luck

 

[der-seemann]

The first thought that came to my mind: critical combination of maoi and some other substances. Food, medicine, drugs... Idk.
But you've probably rechecked that over and over again already...

 

[some one]

My advise is not to use harmala extracts, but to use full spectrum plant profiles instead (eg. caapi brew).

Just like THC in its pure form is harmful, while full spectrum cannabis is not, I suspect the same with harmala compounds. I've done pharma 3x and each time it felt different from caapi (forceful, not healthy). I'm probably more sensitive to this than others, but its a data point non the less. I believe that its a western reductionist mistake to think that only the actives matter and the rest doesn't play a role. But think again, even wine feels different from vodka.

I now drink caapi for the force and take dmt-fumerate caps for the light (pure dmt seems fine). Last time I tried full spectrum mimosa caps. Made by boiling, filtration and boiling down again, injected into caps. It works. Also tried combined mimosa + caapi caps (all in one cap), but the harmala is less efficient this way. Best is to drink force and encapsulate the light. Or drink both, but I dislike the taste of mimosa. Chacruna tastes better, but is a lot of work to boil down and varies too much in active content.

Not saying this is what caused the issue of EphemeralTruth, but just my general advise.

Wish you the best of healing! I'm sure it will pass eventually. The brain is a powerful organ.

 

[King Tryptamine]

My advise is not to use harmala extracts, but to use full spectrum plant profiles instead (eg. caapi brew).

Just like THC in its pure form is harmful, while full spectrum cannabis is not, I suspect the same with harmala compounds

Hey some one, while this may be true for some substances like cannabis which has some science backing your statement such as CBD's antagonistic interaction towards the pro-psychotic effects of THC doesn't necessarily make it true for other substances like syrian rue or caapi which do contain toxic phytochemicals that potentiate the emetic effect of the active constituents, in this case the beta-carboline group of alkaloids and produce an emetic effect on there own. For all we know the OP could have suffered more severe trauma if he/she had tried full spectrum aqueous extracts.

 

[skoobysnax]

Curious if this is all anecdotal or has their been a diagnosis? No judgement either way...

 

[Sabnock1990]

My advise is not to use harmala extracts, but to use full spectrum plant profiles instead (eg. caapi brew).

Just like THC in its pure form is harmful, while full spectrum cannabis is not, I suspect the same with harmala compounds

Hey some one, while this may be true for some substances like cannabis which has some science backing your statement such as CBD's antagonistic interaction towards the pro-psychotic effects of THC doesn't necessarily make it true for other substances like syrian rue or caapi which do contain toxic phytochemicals that potentiate the emetic effect of the active constituents, in this case the beta-carboline group of alkaloids and produce an emetic effect on there own. For all we know the OP could have suffered more severe trauma if he/she had tried full spectrum aqueous extracts.

Full spectrum is actually safer and more beneficial imo/ime than isolated Harmala alkaloids. Active compounds can be beneficial in isolation but work better when synergizing with other compounds.

 

[abusedtoaster]

maybe you should have toasted the bread.

reading, business, meditation, working out all sounds very conditioned.

and u try to do your own brain mechanics what do u know?!! -well better to try than do nothing i guess but if that brilliant old magnesium isnt helping for 6 months what 40mg powder crushed in 6hours.

so how to always see the place in the universe u know u see if your keys dont work and zap u when u try to turn?

 

[Exitwound]

why do you need to see the place? it is already there.

 

[justb612]

Huh, sounds difficult, hope you get through it.


When it comes to brain damage, what I'd advise is generally look into the science behind slowing down/stopping serious mental diseases like alzheimerz and parkinsons.

Dr Rhonda Patrick has a lot of good info on it, but generally these are:

Sleep hygiene
Vigorous exercise
Mindfulness meditation
Heat stress
Cold stress
Nutritional ketosis


Also, try black seed oil while you're at it, helps a lot off folks who abused opioid or serotonergic drugs.


Safe travels!

 

[EphemeralTruth]

Huh, sounds difficult, hope you get through it.

Also, try black seed oil while you're at it, helps a lot off folks who abused opioid or serotonergic drugs.

Safe travels!

I'll give that a try, thanks. I'm starting to look into a large stack of brain-healing supplements like Lions Mane, PPQ, Vinpocetine, Pterostilbene, krill oil, curcumin, ginkgo biloba, Sensoril, Aurora Blue, melatonin, and others. I figure at this point I might as well throw everything I can find at it (in addition to diet, exercise, and meditation).

I am curious if anyone thinks microdosing mushrooms or LSD could be beneficial or harmful. Some conditions respond "better" to being pushed a little bit while others just need pure time. I know psychedelics are often purported to increase BDNF and other measures of brain health, so it seems like maybe very small doses could gradually help my brain towards healing.

Thank you all again for your support and advice.