A beautiful expanse and an epic underdose...

[digglover]

Last night I embarked on a spice journey 3 times with a couple low dose ones afterwards (those were a mistake).
The dosages were in the realm of 20-30mg each time.
Below are the notes I wrote after my last and final low dose session. All the good parts written below came from my first 3 journeys, the bad parts (ears ringing, when will it end) came after my epic underdose.

The vast expanse was so beautiful of darkness stars stellar bodies.
Why is the DMT sound so unbearable? An EXPLODING, INCESSANT, RINGING OF PAIN?

All joy up until my last journey. Now I am left wondering when can I sleep? I'm hungry. When will it end? I keep
seeing visions. Black alien people grasping towards me.

You forget it is a drug on the trip. Constantly wavering back and forth between - Is this a drug? Is it not? What?

Traveling through a black, dark, star valley of green lights

It definitely felt like another world at times. It WAS REAL, IT WAS ALIEN

A little bit of explanation. My 3 trips were absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, I can't remember and relay them very well. They were very dream-like and within a minute, they seem gone unless I've written them down. So only the "big" moments stayed.

My last full trip on the spice led me to a big dark expanse. Up until now all my visions were "in front of me." This one surrounded me and engulfed me. It was awe-inspiring!

My last journey involved me smoking the last remains in my vaporizer. I believe this must have been a classic underdose as the entire experience was marked by an INTENSE, painful ringing in my ears and it took me quite a while to feel "good" again. With a full dose of spice, I'm on my feet in 15 minutes with a fantastic sense of well-being. This trip left me feeling very shitty (for lack of a better word). This is the same as I felt last time I underdosed, so I will need to be weary of that from now on.

How does underdosing affect you?
Another interesting thing is that it only took one hit to blast me off these times. I tried looking at a clock to make sure I was getting at least 2 hits and holding for 15 seconds, but by the first hit, I didn't even remember how to breath.

 

[88]

same-ish. I don't like sub-breakthroughs. They can serve a purpose, but I find myself thinking, oh no .... whereas when punching through, no matter what's on the other side, I never feel that. The dreaded underdose ... to be avoided, in my book.

 

[gibran2]

I agree regarding under-dose. It’s physically uncomfortable and leaves me feeling very dissatisfied. If I could choose between slightly too little or slightly too much, I’d always choose slightly too much.

 

[ragabr]

SWIM goes back and forth on this issue. It may come down to a difference between pure spice and changa.

She went too far too many times when starting out, and habituated a panic response to the spice. Once she figured out the proper dose, she very much preferred to blast straight through, as all of her anxiety symptoms disappeared as soon as breaking through. Sub-breakthrough doses only increased the discomfort.

After one amazing experience with changa, and one that took her too far, she decided to go very slowly her third time. Seeing the amount of spice crystals hanging off the changa also influenced this decision. She went so slowly that she did not break through the entire time. She also had all of her anxiety dissolved by the carrier wave; it moved through her body, finding the points of anxiety and dissolving them with its vibrations. After all the points of anxiety dissolved, the most amazing sensations of loving warmth flowed through all of her muscles. Last night she tried out the same thing, to find out if the healing continued. Again, she had a very physical journey, but with a great feeling of well-being throughout. When she tried to breakthrough, with a new load of changa, she smoked it and hyperspace indicated this was not the time and *reduced* the effects of the spice.

These low doses have had very positive effects in her daily life after going through them. She would especially emphasize the role of the carrier-wave building to near breakthrough but not quite making it.

SWIM also admits that after going too, too far with the changa her second time, she may have some unconscious fear of going back immediately, but that does not change the positive aspect of these recent journeys.

Another random thought: years ago, I did many journeys with IM injections of ketamine. So many healthy changes happened inside my mind, and I felt like life had changed completely. Soon though, my body began rejecting these new realities. I went on to do lots of work with rue & mimosa, mushrooms and LSD. These journeys all focused on body work, and ultimately brought my reality into alignment with the changes I had made using ketamine. Due to this, I came to the conclusion that self-work which doesn't directly impact the body has much less of a long-term impact that those that do.