A curse, or a blessing in disguise?

[Lunaria]

Well, as I've noted before, only recently have I been able to really transition from the lifestyle of an addict (not hardcore-drug bad, but bad) to one of a more sober person with respect for psychedelics, quitting weed and MDMA (for rolling purposes, I still wish to explore it rarely at high doses for psychedelic reasons) and starting up a vitamin schedule and setting days with time in between for tripping. I've cut ties with basically all of my old connects who weren't also close friends (which is most of them, and the ones who are mainly just sell weed), other than the ones I would need to get the psychedelics I still so admire. However, in the past couple days, that life path has taken quite a hit, and keeping the details low, I no longer have a way to obtain pure MDMA, mushrooms, LSD, or 2C-I. In addition, lately it has seemed that it would be much harder than normal for me to acquire DMT, and I doubt I could really get it anymore. I would love to order some legal RCs or extract natural psychedelics myself, but I am not currently in a position to order things of that nature online (crossing my fingers for soon, but there's no guarantee). This was basically all I had available to me, and as the stores around me seem to have sold the last of this season's morning glory seeds and I just purchased the local head shop's last eight hawaiian baby woodrose seeds, the future seems bleak.

However... I also have to believe that this is for the best, as there's no better way to ensure that I don't return to my old habits than not having any choice in the matter. My piracetam has finally arrived (and works great!) and I'm feeling better about myself, and it also ensures that I can't dip into the waters of dissociatives and deliriants (something that, with an addictive personality, could go very awry with the absence of psychedelics). I'd like to use this opportunity to refresh my mind and body while waiting patiently for when the time comes that I can trip again, but this will certainly be a much longer break than I've taken before between doses. What are good ways to give my life a nice cleansing? How do you adapt to a regular lifestyle after being in this kind of thing for so long? Basically, what would you guys suggest as healthy ways for getting in touch with myself without the use of psychedelics substances? I've been wanting to try more technique-based methods for some time, but I have little to no experience in this area, nor do the people I associate with.

 

[corpus callosum]

I think that when one lives the life-style of an addict then the simple pleasures in life become an obscured memory which will only reveal themselves with the passage of time.But its vital to get your head into a place where you dont feel aggrieved or disappointed, as if you are somehow 'missing out' by being unable to acquire your substances.

I dont know much about the specifics in your case but work, exercise and a healthy diet are key ingredients to being able to see the beauty in life without chemicals.I also feel that there is a mysterious serendipity associated with psychedelics/entheogens-you just cannot account for how they just find their way into your path from the most unexpected of directions.

In terms of self-exploration, I will leave the more knowledgeable Nexians in these spheres to comment...

 

[bluntmuffin]

I can only recommend what worked for me. Reading books (fiction and non-fiction) after a sustained fiction book hiatus (since early high school) is very enjoyable. It gives you something to take your mind off of other things, and improves vocabulary. One problem I'm still sorting out is how to get the topic of drugs out of my mind, so that I don't talk about them to people who're still in the dark. It can sound awfully crazy referring to entheogens as safer than alcohol. Reading books is the best thing for this so far.

I also think that self-improvement and psychedelics go hand-in-hand (large understatement). It's amazing to become conscious of a flaw (perceived flaw, as that's all there are) in your person while in an entheogenic state (I feel it allows your ego to listen properly to the rest of you). Then when sober, sort it out, make as much progress as you can, change your habits. Then the next time you're in the entheogenic state - revisit the flaw, and much joy you will experience for sorting it out. Using the entheogenic state as an opportunity for unbiased self-analysis can let you see some insightful things that normally you'd have glanced over. It might hurt and sadden to see yourself as you are, without the filters imposed by sobreity - but an experienced explorer knows his own emotions are to be embraced - not feared, no matter what they are. Never be afraid of the stray tear.

So essentially, reading books on things you wish to be knowledgeable out will help to clear your mind and self-improvement in the form of meditation, diet modification (vitamins, fibre, more unprocessed food), exercise and artistic effort - are the main things that have helped me during the times of sobreity. And also, if you think you're going to need medicine for a longer while, start growing some trichocereus now, for later.

 

[Lunaria]

Thanks for the responses guys, I am definitely working toward maintaining a healthier lifestyle by working up diet and exercise routines, as well as taking some helpful vitamins to revert some of the hits my brain surely took during my heaviest club days. I definitely would have looked at it as missing out before but I've recently started abandoning that view thankfully, especially after my last trip which brought a much-needed ego death following a period of increasing anxiety attacks from doing basically everything way too much. I'd have to say that I'm thus far successfully integrating what I got out of it more than any other I've had, and I'm very much looking forward to revisiting the feelings in that last hawaiian baby woodrose trip, which for once I can say I'm very excited for no matter how intense (or not) it is.

Hehe, sadly reading books is probably not something I would have thought of myself. :roll: That's a good suggestion though, thanks! I actually haven't since early high school, so you hit the nail right on the head. I do have some that friends have suggested to me that I've been putting off.... I have been practicing meditating by myself as much as I can too, my head is usually rushing with thoughts nonstop but I've been getting somewhere with it lately finally and I'm starting to feel much more calm and collected, it really is helpful.

EDIT: I should probably note that I will likely still try Salvia from time to time, mainly because it's legal and it's on its way to becoming illegal where I live. But that's not really something that panders to an addictive personality anyway, and I know people say they consider it a psychedelic but I definitely don't, not anymore than I would DXM, Datura, or the JWH family.

 

[jackstraw]

Hey lunaria, i hear you loud and clear what is working for me at the moment is filling my time with gardening, growing anything seems to realy relax me. and mushroom hunting if your in a good area it takes a while to learn but its a blast.