DMT inertia is a strange beast. The longer I go without a vape session the harder it is to get back to DMT, the easier it is to blow a planned session off. The more frequently I vape DMT, the more frequently I want to do it and am able to do it.
For me frequently means something like 10 to 20 mgs several times a week. Right now the inertia is at objects at rest tend to stay at rest rather than objects launched tend to stay launched. I guess the object here is my mind.
So the time is now. I wish I could dose higher, but I need to start back in the lower ranges, like 10 mgs.
My goal these next three days if at all possible is to rapidly work up to the 25mgs or more range. I really feel it is time to face this fear and go deeper.
Intention? Sending healing energy to Nemo is high within my mind.
Then it is ongoing work. I think the mind-wipe trip helped move things along but if I meet any entities or get a sense of presence and am not in there for Nemo then I will try to ask for help with my anger issues. That and existential stuff. Not easy. Not a quick fix. My intention is to work on anger and existential anxieties.
Of course I will accept whatever DMT has to offer, be it focused on intentions or not.
10 mgs freebase, 6 mins in. Hyperspatial Fish and Molecular Skeletons
Visuals were not super sharp but they were beautiful. Started with a strange, mostly black field with holes or crevices. Lots of geometry. Then it resolved into a kind of geometric vortex tunnel which I tried to fall down.
I was met by a very large, fish-like entity. The fish had a large mouth and many square panels on it’s sides. The square panels were different colors and lit up like Xmas trees. Lots of lights and shiny ornaments. The mouth was round and full of inward facing needle teeth. The entity seemed harmless as it floated towards me. I asked it for help but got the sense that it wasn’t very interested.
Soon the giant fish kind of floated up and I was in a kind of blurry version of my waiting room with the marquis and weird thin plate like surfaces spinning around everywhere. Nothing was discernable.
Then suddenly I was seeing colorful molecular skeletons, which were meaningless other than pretty and coming with a knowledge that they signified chemistry and molecular control. Then two large arms and hands came up and grabbed a bunch of these molecules and then descended into a kind of mist. For some reason I instantly thought of Dr. Shulgin.
After the hands with the molecules things broke up rapidly. I had another brief upsurge in effects but nothing memorable, just lots of complex psychedelic colored panels moving and changing and an inability to easily move my body yet.
A little more time and I was up and writing.
I had closed the door against interruptions, in particular from Nefer. But Shu, the coward cat was here. All of a sudden, just bam, today, Shu decided he liked being a trippy cat sitter. He stayed close and when I sat up he came up next to me purring loudly as if to welcome me back. Hehe, at least someone had a breakthrough.
A couple hours later and 20 mgs fb loaded into the GVG.
10 mins in. Entity Bus, Tall Pyramid & Alien Language Tattooed Head
The first toke was a cop out. I got kind of a sharp taste and it made me cut it with a lot of air. I may have applied too much heat and actually burned a little. The second and third tokes were big and there was a lighter fourth.
I was looking at a blanket with images of cats on it as I closed my eyes and I saw 2D images of geometric cats at first all combining together to fill my field of vision which made me chuckle.
Things became a bit more difficult after that with me trying to quiet the urge to panic and remove the blindfold. The body load was formidable. I kept trying to let go and tell myself it would end soon (the body load) but it was still kind of difficult. Once again, I felt my mind partitioning and there was a big part that was trying to resist against the sheer intensity that was going to hit in seconds. The visuals were fields of black background line geometry webs quickly opening up into more 3D spaces.
I wound up riding on some sort of vehicle that was also the “belly?” of a large, elongated entity. It was laying on it’s back and kind of had a grey rectangular space indented into it for passengers. The edges of this grey bench space was strips of rainbow lights.
This bizarre conveyance soon led me to a very tall, very narrow, black, shiny, light infested, square based pyramid. This structure soon opened up, kind of unfolded into a weird valley.
The next thing I remember is a bizarre image of a gigantic, hairless light skinned head. A kind of spray gun was running over it and as it ran over patches of this giant head, new square tattoos with alien language was laid down. My perspective was floating above, kind of giving me various perspectives on the spray gun action in time with the music.
Other than that my memories are not great and things quickly broke down from visions to hallucinations then nothing.
Nemo said I was grunting and moaning during the comeup. I didn’t mean to do that but it didn’t surprise me one bit. It was good knowing he was here.
A few hours later:
I went to a meet and greet with a new client and cat and everything went well. On the way home I decided to go for round 3 with the R-x’d batch. It may be visual, it may not. This is the batch where my sole intentions are to send healing energy towards Nemo. Five out of six bioassays were without strong visuals, even up to 23 mgs and one at 19 mgs did have strong visuals.
20 mgs was a difficult comeup with the non re-X’d batch and I want to titrate up but am not quite sure how to get there.
So, for this final round of the day, I will try 15 mgs.
Wow, 8 mins and back. Mystical Underground Beauty, Cake Buildings and Things in My Head
It started very comfortable with the black background geometry but also tactile and audio hallucinations around my head.
I went in requesting help for my husband and felt and heard stuff being put into my head. There was a sense of presence or device at the top of my head, a kind of ratcheting sound and the feeling of not only something being placed on my head but things being put in to my head.
At first I thought a cat had crawled up there, or Nemo was doing something or (cognitive hallucination) some sort of device had gotten stuck up there, but then I realized, . . . oh, yeah DMT. I don’t see them but the entities are doing something to me. I ask for help with Nemo and start getting weird things attached to MY head. DMT.
An area started to open up and the sides looked oddly machine like and reached up to the sides of my head. The beginning of this ride definitely felt like being firmly plugged into some sort of machine. There was ZERO noticeable body load. It was completely comfortable. I was at my ease.
Then I was comfortably flying through an indescribable area that felt underground and geometric. Geometry without right angles, everything rounded. I was touring through a 3D space that was filled with colums and this weird geometry on the walls, ceilings and floors. It felt mystical and was colored black, purple, blue and brown. Really lovely dark pallet. The ceilings and floors were fairly close together. Everything had a polished appearance and the “air” almost had a kind of liquid nature to it. I drifted through this area without any control. It was jaw droppingly amazing and beautiful.
Then things opened up into these weird pastel colored entities that looked something between large buildings (with many storeys each including lots of lights and other protruding details) and wedding cake. They were pastel and detailed and as they examined me they kind of opened up.
Then it was into the marquis filled waiting room with nothing really discernable as everything spun around.
Then not much memory as visions dissolved into weird hallucination and a very distinct and sharp sound and feeling of things being REMOVED from my head. I recall mumbling, “Oh you have GOT to be kidding me.”
To hallucinate without conscious participation that something was attached to my head complete with touch sense and sharp sound, an experience followed then that something was removed with the same feeling and sound.
Throughout I kept asking to send help to Nemo and kept getting ignored.
My head felt very odd for a couple hours after and then everything was back to normal.
I am really surprised to have gotten audio and tactile hallucinations and find myself wondering if more shall come now that that door has been re-opened.
For me frequently means something like 10 to 20 mgs several times a week. Right now the inertia is at objects at rest tend to stay at rest rather than objects launched tend to stay launched. I guess the object here is my mind.
So the time is now. I wish I could dose higher, but I need to start back in the lower ranges, like 10 mgs.
My goal these next three days if at all possible is to rapidly work up to the 25mgs or more range. I really feel it is time to face this fear and go deeper.
Intention? Sending healing energy to Nemo is high within my mind.
Then it is ongoing work. I think the mind-wipe trip helped move things along but if I meet any entities or get a sense of presence and am not in there for Nemo then I will try to ask for help with my anger issues. That and existential stuff. Not easy. Not a quick fix. My intention is to work on anger and existential anxieties.
Of course I will accept whatever DMT has to offer, be it focused on intentions or not.
10 mgs freebase, 6 mins in. Hyperspatial Fish and Molecular Skeletons
Visuals were not super sharp but they were beautiful. Started with a strange, mostly black field with holes or crevices. Lots of geometry. Then it resolved into a kind of geometric vortex tunnel which I tried to fall down.
I was met by a very large, fish-like entity. The fish had a large mouth and many square panels on it’s sides. The square panels were different colors and lit up like Xmas trees. Lots of lights and shiny ornaments. The mouth was round and full of inward facing needle teeth. The entity seemed harmless as it floated towards me. I asked it for help but got the sense that it wasn’t very interested.
Soon the giant fish kind of floated up and I was in a kind of blurry version of my waiting room with the marquis and weird thin plate like surfaces spinning around everywhere. Nothing was discernable.
Then suddenly I was seeing colorful molecular skeletons, which were meaningless other than pretty and coming with a knowledge that they signified chemistry and molecular control. Then two large arms and hands came up and grabbed a bunch of these molecules and then descended into a kind of mist. For some reason I instantly thought of Dr. Shulgin.
After the hands with the molecules things broke up rapidly. I had another brief upsurge in effects but nothing memorable, just lots of complex psychedelic colored panels moving and changing and an inability to easily move my body yet.
A little more time and I was up and writing.
I had closed the door against interruptions, in particular from Nefer. But Shu, the coward cat was here. All of a sudden, just bam, today, Shu decided he liked being a trippy cat sitter. He stayed close and when I sat up he came up next to me purring loudly as if to welcome me back. Hehe, at least someone had a breakthrough.
A couple hours later and 20 mgs fb loaded into the GVG.
10 mins in. Entity Bus, Tall Pyramid & Alien Language Tattooed Head
The first toke was a cop out. I got kind of a sharp taste and it made me cut it with a lot of air. I may have applied too much heat and actually burned a little. The second and third tokes were big and there was a lighter fourth.
I was looking at a blanket with images of cats on it as I closed my eyes and I saw 2D images of geometric cats at first all combining together to fill my field of vision which made me chuckle.
Things became a bit more difficult after that with me trying to quiet the urge to panic and remove the blindfold. The body load was formidable. I kept trying to let go and tell myself it would end soon (the body load) but it was still kind of difficult. Once again, I felt my mind partitioning and there was a big part that was trying to resist against the sheer intensity that was going to hit in seconds. The visuals were fields of black background line geometry webs quickly opening up into more 3D spaces.
I wound up riding on some sort of vehicle that was also the “belly?” of a large, elongated entity. It was laying on it’s back and kind of had a grey rectangular space indented into it for passengers. The edges of this grey bench space was strips of rainbow lights.
This bizarre conveyance soon led me to a very tall, very narrow, black, shiny, light infested, square based pyramid. This structure soon opened up, kind of unfolded into a weird valley.
The next thing I remember is a bizarre image of a gigantic, hairless light skinned head. A kind of spray gun was running over it and as it ran over patches of this giant head, new square tattoos with alien language was laid down. My perspective was floating above, kind of giving me various perspectives on the spray gun action in time with the music.
Other than that my memories are not great and things quickly broke down from visions to hallucinations then nothing.
Nemo said I was grunting and moaning during the comeup. I didn’t mean to do that but it didn’t surprise me one bit. It was good knowing he was here.
A few hours later:
I went to a meet and greet with a new client and cat and everything went well. On the way home I decided to go for round 3 with the R-x’d batch. It may be visual, it may not. This is the batch where my sole intentions are to send healing energy towards Nemo. Five out of six bioassays were without strong visuals, even up to 23 mgs and one at 19 mgs did have strong visuals.
20 mgs was a difficult comeup with the non re-X’d batch and I want to titrate up but am not quite sure how to get there.
So, for this final round of the day, I will try 15 mgs.
Wow, 8 mins and back. Mystical Underground Beauty, Cake Buildings and Things in My Head
It started very comfortable with the black background geometry but also tactile and audio hallucinations around my head.
I went in requesting help for my husband and felt and heard stuff being put into my head. There was a sense of presence or device at the top of my head, a kind of ratcheting sound and the feeling of not only something being placed on my head but things being put in to my head.
At first I thought a cat had crawled up there, or Nemo was doing something or (cognitive hallucination) some sort of device had gotten stuck up there, but then I realized, . . . oh, yeah DMT. I don’t see them but the entities are doing something to me. I ask for help with Nemo and start getting weird things attached to MY head. DMT.
An area started to open up and the sides looked oddly machine like and reached up to the sides of my head. The beginning of this ride definitely felt like being firmly plugged into some sort of machine. There was ZERO noticeable body load. It was completely comfortable. I was at my ease.
Then I was comfortably flying through an indescribable area that felt underground and geometric. Geometry without right angles, everything rounded. I was touring through a 3D space that was filled with colums and this weird geometry on the walls, ceilings and floors. It felt mystical and was colored black, purple, blue and brown. Really lovely dark pallet. The ceilings and floors were fairly close together. Everything had a polished appearance and the “air” almost had a kind of liquid nature to it. I drifted through this area without any control. It was jaw droppingly amazing and beautiful.
Then things opened up into these weird pastel colored entities that looked something between large buildings (with many storeys each including lots of lights and other protruding details) and wedding cake. They were pastel and detailed and as they examined me they kind of opened up.
Then it was into the marquis filled waiting room with nothing really discernable as everything spun around.
Then not much memory as visions dissolved into weird hallucination and a very distinct and sharp sound and feeling of things being REMOVED from my head. I recall mumbling, “Oh you have GOT to be kidding me.”
To hallucinate without conscious participation that something was attached to my head complete with touch sense and sharp sound, an experience followed then that something was removed with the same feeling and sound.
Throughout I kept asking to send help to Nemo and kept getting ignored.
My head felt very odd for a couple hours after and then everything was back to normal.
I am really surprised to have gotten audio and tactile hallucinations and find myself wondering if more shall come now that that door has been re-opened.
Like they put on a helmet for you so you can trip lol. DMT-VR Headset 