randomseed
Rising Star
Well this was an interesting one, one of those time where you are not sure if the dream was real or if reality is real, or in fact which is which.
Two powerful pulls off the water pipe with about .07 or so mixed with Mullein.
I hit the bed, switch the light off and get the covers on me in 2 seconds flat (I was in the mood to explore some closed eye visuals).
Almost as soon as I hit the bed a vase shaped object appears in front of me. Also at the same time my cat jumps on the bed and leans against my leg. Suddenly I feel like my cat has expanded and is covering me, like completely covering me, soft fluffy fur sensations cover what is left of my body, thats the last thing I "feel" physically.
So this vase object starts spinning and unwinds a checkerboard patter of shape and eventually all color that warps around my conciseness and becomes everything I can see or know. In the patterns I can start to make out familiar things, places Ive been, people I know and even people I have known but don't even remember the names of any more. All of this is flying past me converging into something I could only call the singularity. The entire thing accelerates and in concept it seemed as if all of reality is being flushed into this single point. Suddenly the point erupts in pure white(ish) light.
Im blinded by it, but I can do nothing but look right at it and I feel communication, I don't hear a voice, its nothing I can relate outside of saying something like the information was simply materializing in my thoughts but over and over again I get the impression of "This is all for you"....... "Everything....is yours" I am agast of the implications of all of this, if all reality was created for me, what makes me so special. It feels as if everything that ever has been, everything that is, this forum, my friends, the universe itself was constructed just to give me a place to be material and develop in. All I feel is a mixture of pure love crashing over me mixed with my own confusion of why am I so special, and also does that mean I am the ONLY thing that is real, like maybe the entire of existence is just me and this outside godlike presence. Like its all just us, he creates and I experience and that is the ONLY truth of the universe, the only real duality.
Im starting to descend again, it was like a classic death, ascension, rebirth cycle. I even had a toy thought on the way out that maybe IM Jesus, or Horus, or whatever you care to manifest the idea as. During the decent I start to materialize in this world again. I notice my cat sleeping against my leg (this is how I figure out what the fluffy thing from the launch was since I couldnt actually "see" anything) and tears are pouring down my face, good tears, Im awash in the feeling of love. Love for the amazing gift that has been given to me. The gift of existence itself. At no point did anything in the experience begin to address the ever present "why" or "how", like it was ignoring the question because it's a "silly" question to bother to ask. I even remembering muttering "Thank You" as I become more and more associated back into my body.
In the afterglow a few things struck me.
Am I just the most selfish being alive that I really believe that everything everywhere is all about ME
If we assume that all of us carry "souls" in concept and we are all just as real as I am then the size of the "real" universe is beyond comprehension, that all of us exists in a realty that is "just for you", but somehow these realities overlap and this overlap is what creates the physical reality as we know it. Perhaps the real world as we know if is just the shadow of our individual realities cast against a blank backdrop and this backdrop is the only thing we can "see" with our normal two eyes.
Also kind of a neat little side note is that during the experience for a very brief thought I almost felt that I had made the accession and accidentally destroyed the normal reality in the process, like whooops I answered the big question guess its time for the universe to recycle. Im glad I didn't end up ruining creation for everyone else even if I didn't understand why I still needed to be physical at all ;-)
There was also this interesting minute or so during the decent back into this world where I became aware that I stopped breathing, during this point I felt other presences, not bad nor good but observing. In this lack of breath I got the feeling that I "should" be worried and that this was where things could go wrong in transition. I was not at all worried though, the feeling was new to me and the experience so almost in a show of power I continued to hold my breath. I could feel some almost unpleasant rushes waving over me, almost trying to confuse me but it holds no power over me. I start messing with it even, I take a small shallow breath to toy with it, my way of saying "maybe you got me, maybe you dont". It trys to choke me in a way (non violent) but it cannot, I hold the power here. After experiencing the state for a few more moments I give a mental farewell to the observers, thanks them for their time and take a nice big full breath, I probably gasped in the real world but it was a soft full lungful of reality that tasted so sweet to me in this in between state. Once its over I rationalize this piece as that state of "confusion" that so many people talk about in the death experience, like this is the place some souls get stuck because they become confused in the transition. I pat myself on the back from not letting places like that trap me, or even hold sway over me. Like I said I felt was I was toying with THEM in their own house if you will.
Im not a particularity dogmatic person and I hold to no specific belief set that's been laid out by anyone else but the presence of this experience is distinctly different this time and as much as I hate to say it "godlike".
My usual experience is quite different, Im a clown person. MY way of describing my usual experience is to say the interdenominational circus tent lands in front of you then the transdimesional hyperspace clowns get out and the god damn universal circus plays out right in from of your eyes.
This was different, it was like I skipped the show and somehow found the source.
I also related the experience to the end of the Neverending Story (movie) after the nothing has come and swallowed up everything and its just the "real" kid and the princess at the end of time and all he needs to do is give everything a "name" so that it can exist again. I think I felt a little like that kid would have HAD to be feeling at that moment.
Entirely weird.......amazingly boootiful.
Two powerful pulls off the water pipe with about .07 or so mixed with Mullein.
I hit the bed, switch the light off and get the covers on me in 2 seconds flat (I was in the mood to explore some closed eye visuals).
Almost as soon as I hit the bed a vase shaped object appears in front of me. Also at the same time my cat jumps on the bed and leans against my leg. Suddenly I feel like my cat has expanded and is covering me, like completely covering me, soft fluffy fur sensations cover what is left of my body, thats the last thing I "feel" physically.
So this vase object starts spinning and unwinds a checkerboard patter of shape and eventually all color that warps around my conciseness and becomes everything I can see or know. In the patterns I can start to make out familiar things, places Ive been, people I know and even people I have known but don't even remember the names of any more. All of this is flying past me converging into something I could only call the singularity. The entire thing accelerates and in concept it seemed as if all of reality is being flushed into this single point. Suddenly the point erupts in pure white(ish) light.
Im blinded by it, but I can do nothing but look right at it and I feel communication, I don't hear a voice, its nothing I can relate outside of saying something like the information was simply materializing in my thoughts but over and over again I get the impression of "This is all for you"....... "Everything....is yours" I am agast of the implications of all of this, if all reality was created for me, what makes me so special. It feels as if everything that ever has been, everything that is, this forum, my friends, the universe itself was constructed just to give me a place to be material and develop in. All I feel is a mixture of pure love crashing over me mixed with my own confusion of why am I so special, and also does that mean I am the ONLY thing that is real, like maybe the entire of existence is just me and this outside godlike presence. Like its all just us, he creates and I experience and that is the ONLY truth of the universe, the only real duality.
Im starting to descend again, it was like a classic death, ascension, rebirth cycle. I even had a toy thought on the way out that maybe IM Jesus, or Horus, or whatever you care to manifest the idea as. During the decent I start to materialize in this world again. I notice my cat sleeping against my leg (this is how I figure out what the fluffy thing from the launch was since I couldnt actually "see" anything) and tears are pouring down my face, good tears, Im awash in the feeling of love. Love for the amazing gift that has been given to me. The gift of existence itself. At no point did anything in the experience begin to address the ever present "why" or "how", like it was ignoring the question because it's a "silly" question to bother to ask. I even remembering muttering "Thank You" as I become more and more associated back into my body.
In the afterglow a few things struck me.
Am I just the most selfish being alive that I really believe that everything everywhere is all about ME
If we assume that all of us carry "souls" in concept and we are all just as real as I am then the size of the "real" universe is beyond comprehension, that all of us exists in a realty that is "just for you", but somehow these realities overlap and this overlap is what creates the physical reality as we know it. Perhaps the real world as we know if is just the shadow of our individual realities cast against a blank backdrop and this backdrop is the only thing we can "see" with our normal two eyes.
Also kind of a neat little side note is that during the experience for a very brief thought I almost felt that I had made the accession and accidentally destroyed the normal reality in the process, like whooops I answered the big question guess its time for the universe to recycle. Im glad I didn't end up ruining creation for everyone else even if I didn't understand why I still needed to be physical at all ;-)
There was also this interesting minute or so during the decent back into this world where I became aware that I stopped breathing, during this point I felt other presences, not bad nor good but observing. In this lack of breath I got the feeling that I "should" be worried and that this was where things could go wrong in transition. I was not at all worried though, the feeling was new to me and the experience so almost in a show of power I continued to hold my breath. I could feel some almost unpleasant rushes waving over me, almost trying to confuse me but it holds no power over me. I start messing with it even, I take a small shallow breath to toy with it, my way of saying "maybe you got me, maybe you dont". It trys to choke me in a way (non violent) but it cannot, I hold the power here. After experiencing the state for a few more moments I give a mental farewell to the observers, thanks them for their time and take a nice big full breath, I probably gasped in the real world but it was a soft full lungful of reality that tasted so sweet to me in this in between state. Once its over I rationalize this piece as that state of "confusion" that so many people talk about in the death experience, like this is the place some souls get stuck because they become confused in the transition. I pat myself on the back from not letting places like that trap me, or even hold sway over me. Like I said I felt was I was toying with THEM in their own house if you will.
Im not a particularity dogmatic person and I hold to no specific belief set that's been laid out by anyone else but the presence of this experience is distinctly different this time and as much as I hate to say it "godlike".
My usual experience is quite different, Im a clown person. MY way of describing my usual experience is to say the interdenominational circus tent lands in front of you then the transdimesional hyperspace clowns get out and the god damn universal circus plays out right in from of your eyes.
This was different, it was like I skipped the show and somehow found the source.
I also related the experience to the end of the Neverending Story (movie) after the nothing has come and swallowed up everything and its just the "real" kid and the princess at the end of time and all he needs to do is give everything a "name" so that it can exist again. I think I felt a little like that kid would have HAD to be feeling at that moment.
Entirely weird.......amazingly boootiful.
