This is the toughest thread I've ever read on here. I feel powerless to help in any way, I don't know what to say, nor do I want to lay a bunch of platitudes at GS' feet.

I want to say that if you fall prey to the lies in your head that you will not fix anything and I for one will not forgive it. You do not have a reasonable reason to commit suicide or self harm according to your post. Period.

You are not a coward, fight this.

Read and understand this, this is TRUTH :

GS, it says you are here yesterday, i hope to see that days change to today (and on and on).