A lesson in humility courtesy of the spirit molecule/Thank god I'm still me

[Eclectic]

I had my first real trip today.. completely alien to anything a person who hasn't gotten 'there' can imagine.. To those who haven't gone there yet, I'm not one to be able to tell you to go or not to go there, but seriously, it was the craziest experience of my life.

I have never been so grateful to be me.. never.. I maybe never in my life was truly grateful to exist.. Maybe that's why it exists.. to show us that we matter.. that being 'us' is ok...

In a country where all this is legal, I went gung-ho on it.. earlier today i wrote some posts, a completely different person, maybe not completely but there were aspects of myself now that weren't realized then.. and wow.. I don't know how much DMT I took.. I capped up what I thought might be between 50 and 300 mg's.. At some point, like the hour mark, I complained.. "It didn't work.. how in the world did all that crystalline DMT not yield what others see on it".. then all of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, my awareness became crystalline.. I was a molecule.. I experienced things you cannot imagine.. I tried to explain it to the guy who was there who tried it, and thank god I somehow had the foresight to give him a little less.. maybe out of some sort of greed.. maybe some sort of cosmic empathy..

I told myself earlier "Ok 200 mg's of caapi copy, he'll have 150 or so.. And I'll cap up what I estimate, by testing it through smoking, to be around 100-200 mg's.. This will get us there, wherever it may be, and whatever happens, no matter how intense, I will ride it out.. it's what I want."

Now I know I had too much.. I had put in a second capsule another DMT dose.. I had a capsule with a lot in it and then a capsule with the same amount as the guy I was voyaging with.. I took the small one first... upon thinking I didn't get anywhere, about an hour or so after I took the first, I took the other one with a LOT of it in it.. I didn't know how much it was.. I wonder now what the smaller capsule alone would have yielded..

What ensued was complete crystalline awareness.. my vision doubled, tripled.. numbers fail me.. it was like everything was a stained glass painting.. during the most intense part I experienced things I can barely remember or describe.. there was an annoying TV show on, and it's like the show was altered for me.. the show was somehow being so brutally honest about people in general.. like a parody of human life.. I couldn't see faces.. I couldn't see words.. they were odd alien hiroglyphs.. It was complete insanity all with some level of ordered chaos.. At one point I can only describe what I saw as ego destruction.. I was no longer.. it was only all that was.. I barely tasted this with nitrous and DXM.. I didn't know what it was until now..

Be careful fellow intrepid voyagers.. this is a warning.. don't have bravado.. slowly work your way up.. people will scold me for being so gung-ho about it.. I don't need to be told, trust me, I doubt I will try anything other than the tryptamine giggles ever again.. This was a life altering experience.. something truly impossible yet it happened, all the while a somewhat normal person experience reality (hah, reality) completely differently from how I did.. and somehow it all felt familiar..

I rocked back and forth at one point. I put my hands in my mouth, my fingers.. held my tongue, lightly bit it, to know I was real.. If you haven't experienced something like this before.. something sort of complete insanity.. complete infinite awareness.. then I suggest going slow.. Be careful.. and you meet them, try not to be afraid.. because they always were there, you just couldn't see... Try not to be so afraid as I was.

I know this will resonate with a few people who have 'been there'.. I now feel like I understand McKenna.. I always thought he was somewhat of a nut.. I mean, I knew he experienced all those things, but I wondered how much was interpretation.. his own embellishment.. and no.. it's all there.. if you go there, expect nothing short of what McKenna describes..

The guy kept assuring my my ranting was OK.. he seemed tired, but not really upset he had to deal with me.. Have a supportive person there... a sitter, a person to ground you to who you are, which is a really ridiculously malleable thing once you experience this, it can be a lifesaver. I constantly felt as though I was no longer breathing.. I'd hallucinate that I was breathing then realize I was holding my breathe.. This might have been a pretty large dose, as large as anyone should experience, and other than a few mild DMT experiences, DXM experience, LSA, nitrous, salvia, I was completely unprepared for what DMT truly can put before your eyes. I'd say smoking it, trying to smoke it to get your first good trip on it, might be wise.. but really, when you get to that point, the second hand can move backwards.. the hour of 3 AM for me was the craziest hour of my life.. the longest experience I ever had.. and I dosed around 1.. that's the crazy thing.. the pharmahuasca thankfully didn't give me nausea.. if you want to get there, it's really effective, but unless you're prepared, unless you meditate regularly or something, expect to be praying to be able to understand things again.. things like comedy.. life.. what a human face looks like.. what reality is normally.

From now on, for me, it's things that don't dissolve who I am. As I said, this was a foolish dose for someone inexperienced like me.. if you're having problems breaking through, I know there's a few topics about people who are at the same place I was less than 12 hours ago, be patient.. slowly increment your way up.. I had Caapi Copy 200mg's and an unknown amount of DMT, but I can tell you, for quite awhile I wasn't enjoying myself.. No matter how much you tell yourself, you can't truly be prepared for the first time seeing all that is.. our meager minds fail to comprehend.. I said earlier today I'm not afraid of death.. I know there's something else behind it all, I've been shown glimpses.. Let's just say I once again have a healthy respect for the unstable construct we're LUCKY enough to call reality.

 

[Drake]

Wow. Crazy, immense, mind blowing. I am somewhat close to my 1st time, and was going to go for it... Mainly because so far I only got one shot at seeing "them" and "it". I only got the 60mg to smoke... Some of the things you sead, I had when I had my 1st LSD trip. The "I'd hallucinate that I was breathing then realize I was holding my breathe". I was not sure if this was happening, perhaps I WAS breathing, I could not tell at all at some point. So I ended up purposely breathing a little deeper.

And yeah, good to have a sitter there, to say that you ARE breathing normal. I asked my sister that before she went to work, she sead my breathing was fine, it was enough to calm me right down to enjoy myself. But DMT is not like LSD, not at all. I am yet to see the difference.

 

[smokeydaze]

Thanks for sharing it was a good read, so happy you returned to tell the tale How long did it go for all up?

Couple of things though, it's always wise to scale out how much you are having so you not only know for this time but for the next also - you can get very cheap scales from ebay, a must have. Setting, as you might read, is a very very important aspect of any healthy experience - take pride in setting (ie no tv etc) and you will be rewarded. Finally, when you think you've had too much - you've had just enough.

Happy travels!

 

[SWIMfriend]

Absolutely amazing report! I'm glad you shared it with us with such feeling and meaning!

 

[Space]

Now I know I had too much.. I had put in a second capsule another DMT dose.. I had a capsule with a lot in it and then a capsule with the same amount as the guy I was voyaging with.. I took the small one first... upon thinking I didn't get anywhere, about an hour or so after I took the first, I took the other one with a LOT of it in it.. I didn't know how much it was.. I wonder now what the smaller capsule alone would have yielded..

I said in that other post didn't I; don't do what I did and think "fuck it, it's not working and go with plan b" :d

At least it wasn't a bombardment of nausea though, and you actually got a dmt experience out of it Either way, seemed like you took a positive out of the experience which is good.


I think everyone in these experiences should expect death in various ways, as it's only the break-down of what you hold on to -the barrier, that prevents one from achieving greater space, greater possibilities, in sense. It's so important to let-go. That's why theres friction/fear if you don't.


Thanks for sharing mate, I'm sure it will be of good use for some people.

 

[Eclectic]

Thanks for the replies. I wasn't sure if I'd be scolded, but I think you guys know I don't need it. Haha.. Today in the afterglow I found myself enjoying it.. taking what I learned, integrating it into my life. It was definitely a bad trip, but I did learn a lot.

Like others said, I will definitely use a scale if I use it again. I might convert what I have left to fumarate and save it in the freezer or something.. or somewhere dark.. Some more stable form. Reading my post, I realize I didn't forget much.. there was definite ego loss, but I still remembered what happened. What a crazy experience.. but with DMT, even a bad trip can be useful. It was great that it really put me in my place.

Next time I try it, I think I'll save my THH and DMT I have now and in maybe a year.. or at least a few months, I will try to have an experience during the day. The plans for that are vague, but even so, I know I won't do as much.. I'd like to try to eyeball what I took and weigh it to tell you all how much exactly caused that experience. As I said, I'm glad you enjoyed it, and last night at about 4:30 I was so happy to exist. I am still so grateful to exist.. and it seemed of utmost importance to transcribe my experience for the nexus.. I know there are others in my position, the one I was in yesterday before about 2-4 AM, and I know it can be frustrating, but like I said, this is a warning of sorts.. I know some will not heed the advice, I didn't heed the advice of Space and many others, but try to be patient.. Then again, maybe taking the plunge was necessary for me.. because at a certain level working my way up to something like that, I might have never tried more because I'd have been frightened.

Someone asked how long it lasted. Here is a simple timeline of what I remember..

11:15 me and my friend dosed on the harmaloids.. I took 200 mg's of Caapi Copy. I gave him about 40mg of THH and 100 mgs of caapi copy. I was stingy and it's good I was, or we might have been too far gone at the same time.

12:15 We both took the capsules of DMT.. both were eyeballed to be maybe 1/5th or 1/6th of my yield from 90 grams of mimosa bark using STB (Noman's Tek, worked well, yield from BBB's bark might be much higher than .5%)

1:15 I decide it wasn't enough.. Foolish! I took the other capsule. The original plan was to take the capsule with MORE in it, THEN the other capsule with less.. I ended up taking the one with less first, what I estimated to be maybe between 50-100 mg's.. So at this point I took the capsule with much more in it..

Around 2 AM we had decided it didn't work.. we probably thought that because we tried a crude extract (Failed FASA extract of 20 grams of MHRB evaporated down in the added-fumaric phase and flour added to make them into playdough-like balls and swallowed) and it didn't work for us.. I threw up, he didn't and he got a little out of it... So we thought it didn't work.. I said "We might as well smoke something" and we spent about 20 minutes trying to get my bong working. We've been enjoying BBB's K2 blends, specifically Blonde and Citron. These are 'blends that work' if you're not familiar with blends actually working.. not bunk 'budz' but they really work.. They cause an MJ like high for maybe 30-40 minutes.. real nice.

Anyway, I lost the screen down the drain.. I improvised and cut apart a soda can, making a screen.. all the while the DMT was slowly getting into me and I had no idea. Like I said, at this point we both thought it didn't work. We finally got it to work and smoked, came back in and sat down. The clouds looked weird, but there was a little bit of "forcing it" for me. I wanted to see something cool, but they really did look neat.. not psychedelic though.

We came back in and sat down.. looking at the TV guide, 2 AM was when the Colbert Report was on. We were watching it, and both noted that the flag on his desk, the whole front of the desk was an American flag, we both noted it looked really intense.. colors were getting more intense, moreso than the MAOI had already provided.. I said "does it look like colors are coming out of the TV for you?" and he said it did.. I think this is about where his trip stopped building.

Mine however, by the end of the Colbert Report, was in full effect. I said "I think it's doing something.. It's different".. "It's definitely happening".. "This is definite now, not me hoping.. holy shit"

I started to repeat "Holy shit" quite a lot. Things started to crystallize.. I need to find the show that was on for most of my trip.. I wish I had the bravery to have put on my headphones, as the show was really really bothering me.. At some point he was flipping channels for what seemed like an eternity. I looked at my watch. For a long time, I couldn't see the numbers.. they were alien looking hyrogliphs, as were the words on the TV.. The characters on this talk show that was on were alien looking.. I could barely describe them as human.. The looked so strange. I looked at my hand at one point, wondering if I could see anything odd, I thought of Alex Grey paintings like on the cover of DMT: The Spirit Molecule.. I could see through my hand.. it scared me. I turned it over and looked at the back of my hand. My knuckles had alien spidery looking eyeballs on them, looking into me.. through me.. It was SO amazing but so scary.. lol. I was extremely afraid I wasn't breathing, as I said. I kept touching my mouth when I was aware of my body, which came and went.. For a long time, I wasn't aware of my body. I did manage to lay back at some point and close my eyes.. at this point, I was flying down fractal tunnels that looked like the nervous system.. that's the only way I can describe it.. like fractal branched tubing.. I felt like I was blood.. or a blood vessel or something.. Extremely cool.. that was maybe the best part of my trip. After I started to become aware of my body again is when the breathing crisis started.. I tried to tell myself it was ok but I was afraid I took way too much (and I likely did take the highest end dose most people take intentionally or a little higher) so I tried to cling to myself.. keeping me..

As it wore off, people started to look like people again.. not crystalline monsters.. I saw them, the entities.. they were behind things.. in the background.. I tried not to look. I several times saw them looking at me, like I didn't belong, and I wasn't supposed to be there.. that was sensed very clearly.. they seemed amused by me.. They peaked out from objects and looked at me.. I don't know how people see elves, for me they were extremely alien in nature.. alien not like 'greys' but alien like.. not of this dimension.. not of this reality.. I mainly avoided them and they didn't bother me for long.. they just peaked out at me like "Who is this, he hasn't been here"..

It was an incredible experience... if I ever try this again, I will have a scale and a better setting, preferably during the day.. I want to be in an open space in the sky.. my sitter will be given something to entertain himself so he never flips channels.. at one point he was flipping channels and luckily I managed to still be able to say "can you stop".. He wasn't just changing the TV, he was rapidly changing my reality.. the bombardment didn't help me.

He wants to go there.. I told him when I started to feel more normal around 4 AM that he could go there.. I said "It's not my decision to make.. it's up to you.. I can only tell you what I felt.. maybe you can handle it better".. He has done mushrooms, some salvia.. but I don't think they'll have him completely prepared for this.. Like I said, I'm not sure anything can, but he wants to try it and I'm going to let him.. he helped me get through it, and I'd feel bad denying him it.. but I remember telling him "I don't think I have the desire to try LSD anymore.. this was it, it was what I was looking for.. more than what I was looking for.." he seemed disappointed by this, but he didn't understand what I had just went through. As nervous as I'd think it'd make him, hearing me describe it to him, he still wants to try and I wont deny him.. tonight is his night to try it.. luckily last night wasn't both of us..

I'll be a better sitter for him however.. I wont be flipping channels.. lol.. I'll make sure he doesnt feel embarrassed to ask me to do anything while he's waiting for it to kick in.. If he wants a movie in for something familiar to hold on to, that's fine.. Ideally, he'll be able to let go for awhile like I did for a brief time.. I hope he doesn't have the fear from not breathing. I also hope his tolerance isn't too much from the low dose he had last night.. he likely had maybe 60mg's and I probably had 200 or so... or maybe he had 100 and I had like 250.. Whatever it was, I think it was about my highest dose I'd want to have, but it would be useful to build up to that..

That's plenty more for people to read.. but to answer the question, it seems to me it started around 2:20 and the major trip lasted until about 4.. between 2:50 and 3:00 time was irrelevant.. time literally ticked backwards.. this isn't a metaphor.. looking at my watch, time was ticking back and forth.. that was scary, as the watch was helping me to know it would end.. it's all I could tell myself.. "This will end.. I will be me.. this will end".. My sitter slept through most of the most intense part but I didn't say much anyway.. I was ok telling myself I'd be ok.. I knew I'd be ok.. but at that level, you start to doubt any beliefs you've ever had in your life.. They all seem quite unstable..

I wish you all the best of luck.. I'm going to walk up the street and give the man his trip.. I'll do my best to make it go well for him, but I don't know if in good conscience I'll be able to pack as much into a capsule as I had.. but it's what he wants.. I told him we can wait for a scale, but ultimately, even though the DMT is 'mine' (that idea, the idea that I own it, is hilarious to me.. it's not mine, it's anyone's who wishes to use it IMO) it's really his choice.. I'll let him go there, but I'm going to do my best to make sure he's ok, feels safe, and has a good time. I told him earlier to pick out a few CD's.. something mellow.. something heavy (he likes metal so I told him to pick something lighter too) and maybe a movie.. in case he wants something to hold on to.. I told him the TV was bad for it, and that he might want it off at some point..

After this, the DMT will be fumarated and shelved probably until I'm spiritually ready to go there again and have a scale. Thanks for all your input..

 

[Space]

I saw them, the entities.. they were behind things.. in the background.. I tried not to look. I several times saw them looking at me, like I didn't belong, and I wasn't supposed to be there.. that was sensed very clearly.. they seemed amused by me..

That's pretty funny. I'd of loved to have seen your face then, bet that would of amused me too:d


You mention the setting you were in, being with someone skipping channels on the tv, not listening to music like you wanted to etc, I can imagine that played a big part in you feeling so uncomfortable in the experience. Because for me, it would have.

It now makes me really curious has to the settings people do this sort of thing in. Me, Everyday I meditate for at least an hour completely alone in the dark. And when I use plants, it's the same, I just meditate alone in the dark (although when I first started using ayahuasca, I had a few candles burning :roll: ) If I was with someone, or had the light on, tv etc I would feel uncomfortable. I either like to go one way or the other, and when I use this stuff in meditation, I'm certainly going the way of letting go, disconnecting.

You mentioned maybe trying it out in the open, this is something I would love to try, I've always heard of positive reports out in nature.



Can't wait to hear how your mate got on

 

[Eclectic]

Well, my friend tried it and I knew he'd want a dose similar to mine.. if I said "No it's not wise" he'd have felt ripped off, like I didn't let him try it when I said I would.. I stressed to him "That was way too much and I was seeing things that I can't even describe".. Explaining things were crystalline and I saw entities and how freaked out I was, he said "Now to me that sounds awesome".. I guess there was no other way.. he had to experience it..

As I said, I was a better sitter for him than he was for me.. I gave him about 100 mg's of Caapi Copy, as it was all I had left, and maybe around 40 mg's of THH on top of it.. so it was likely a THH heavy dose.. I now only have a little THH left if I want to experiment further.. or I could order a little more caapi copy sometime.. After a few days absorbing my trip, I would like to try again with a lower dose.. definitely.. in a better environment.. Or if he will sit for me with no TV on or anything, that would work too..

He took his MAOI at about 11:45.. the timing worked out about like my trip.. He was on the phone talking for awhile, and around the hour mark for the MAOI, he was still on the phone. I mixed him up about the amount of DMT I had in a cup this time instead of a capsule, as he wished it wouldn't take so long and told him I'd do it that way.. I handed it to him, assuming he'd get off the phone first, but he downed it.. I wrote on a paper plate I had chopped the DMT up on (so it'd be fluffier and dissolve easier, and it did dissolve pretty well, freebase btw from noman's, same as mine) "You need to try to get off the phone before it comes on, if it's as strong as mine it will be too much to talk".. I realized how much he was underestimating the experience.. He has had my smoking blends before, but the mimosa with caapi copy, the crude extract we tried, hadn't worked well.. I had let him borrow the book by Strassman to get a sense for how powerful the trip can be.. He later admitted what I figured: He had doubted it, even when I was expressing such gratitude to be normal and alive and was saying things like "I'm 'my name' and I work at ____ and I'm FINE with that.. I exist.. thank god!".. he listened, but seemed a little awkward.. like a little disbelief of how much I had tripped..

Anyway, he got off the phone as it started to come on.. He didn't show respect for it.. I did, but he was who I decided to have sit for me when I used it, so I had a bad setting.. he had a bad mindset for it.. It came up within about 5 minutes of drinking it, and he said "Everything is plaid, I hope you know right now.."

He began to try to walk around.. I told him it'd be better to sit and try to ride it out. He didn't seem to listen. I was timid, this was actually my first time sitting for anyone on anything they actually ended up needing a sitter for... it's a good thing I was there, as I will now detail.. Around the 10 minute mark after drinking, his smile faded.. He said he didn't like it.. He said "Holy shit" a few times, as I had, and then he sat down.. He opened his eyes and looked at me, and asked me to leave. I said "What do you mean?"... he said something like "Just for like 2 seconds.. i gotta get out of here.. then.. I know it's weird".. I think at that point he didn't know what he meant.. I didn't go anywhere.. At maybe the 15 minute mark, he stood up.. he said "I'm done" and started walking out.. Let us call him "J" because it will be useful for him to have a name for the sake of typing what happened.. I said "J, come back, sit down".. I was still a bit timid.. then a sense of guilt.. and responsibility set in.. I had given him this.. without me, he would likely have never come in contact with DMT.. I tried to get over my guilt, and I went after him. I needed to keep him safe, as he was no longer seeing things for what they were.. I don't know what part of me allowed me to stay still, but he got up and tried to leave. He made it out of the garage, outside, down the driveway and to the street. We live in a small neighborhood with no traffic. I ran out in front of him... as I ran around the side of him, he said "How's it goin grandpa".. This we later agreed was an externalization of the fear of his grandparents catching him.. I got in front of him, stopped him physically with my hands on his shoulders (I don't like to touch people and didn't want to scare him but it was becoming more and more necessary.. a 1 minute run would put him to an actual highway, and I'm not a fast guy..).. I said "J.. listen to me.. it's T.. you saw your grandpa but he's asleep. You're not ok here, you're on the street. You took a drug, remember? You need to be inside. I have to get you back inside.".. The message was luckily registered somehow.. Deep in there, he was still hearing me on some level.. I felt like me identifying myself was actually extremely necessary at this point.. He thought I was his grandpa at another point in the trip too.

He walked back inside in a jerky robotic kind of way.. I helped him get through the doors and everything and he made it back to his chair. He curled up in the fetal position.. He started to say things.. it wasn't real words.. somehow I think because of body weight, even though he had very slightly less than myself, he might have actually tripped harder than myself.. I didn't lose contact with the world, but then again, I spent the bulk of the trip clinging to my ego and reality..

The setting was in his basement.. it is a finished basement, and pretty nice to hang out in, but unfortunately his grandparents live upstairs.. He was starting to talk louder.. then SING in this odd babble language.. At some point, I decided since I couldn't make him quiet, I decided to stand a pillow up next to him to block some of the noise.. I threw a CD he likes in the DVD player. I had this odd sense that he wanted to hear music.. I would have liked music for my trip, something to focus on instead of voices, but I was too debilitated to talk.. I could have talked, but not talking was better.. he said he felt the same way.. Upon about 30 seconds of song playing, he stopped the babble singing.. I felt like I averted him possibly waking anyone up.. That would have been bad.. I was realizing more and more the responsibility the sitter really takes on, and he later expressed he was grateful I was normal.. He said "You're still normal".. I thought he meant I still looked unaltered to his vision, as when I tripped he was one of the only things in the room that didn't look crystalline.. He said later he meant he was trying to thank me for being in an unaltered state and taking care of him.

While he was babble-singing, I laughed once, then became worried again, then decided to record a bit of it.. I asked him later if he wanted me to delete it, or if he wanted to hear it.. The choice was his, and I told him I didn't want to take advantage of him in a vulnerable state.. I felt so guilty recording it that I stopped it after 17 seconds.. you can hear me whisper his real name in the mp3 near the end.. I had actually put it down then and it was shutting off (which ended the recording) and had gone back to trying to get him to stop the babbling.. He said it's cool if I upload it to share online, so I'll do that..

He was in the fetal position for most of the rest of the trip.. At one point he asked for me to turn off the music.. about 5 tracks in.. I asked at one point, maybe 40 minute mark when he regained his ability to see me and realize who I was and who he was, if he wanted a blanket.. He said no, but then asking again he said yes. He would talk a bit, then say "I'll be back" and put his head under the covers and close his eyes.. His trip seemed equally or moreso intense as my own..

Following the trip, he had been coming out of it and able to stand and talk to me.. Much like myself, he expressed being grateful for the experience, but said "Never again".. We agreed the dose was too high, but neither of us regretted doing it.. We both had bad trips but took away valuable lessons. Talking to him about it might have been the most rewarding part of the experience, both experiences.. He agreed with me on so many things.. we kept finishing eachother's sentences, something we don't normally do as we haven't known eachother for that long.. We at one point thought that maybe people don't really ever enjoy the trip.. maybe it's frightening every time anyone breaks through, but the end of it, coming back, is so rewarding that people learn to work with the trip in the future and come to enjoy it.. like a necessary evil.. We both agreed this could be the case with the highest doses, but also agreed it might be geniunely fun DURING the trip if a lower dose was given..

All in all, we both felt like we had died and been reborn.. we commented on how it only felt natural during such intense trips as we had to be in the fetal position.. we didn't feel comfortable either way.. observing him, I saw many of the exact same behaviors as myself.. he put his hands near his head in a praying way for a lot of the trip while in the fetal position, and I remember doing that.. he moved his fingers around a lot.. he didn't get the breathing problems I had I don't think but at one point he was yawning intensely for about 5 times in a row.. while I was worried about him, I kept assuring him he'd be normal again soon, and that while time seems to have stopped or is different, the world is still moving on. It might have been better for him because I was there being a sitter, whereas him 'sitting' for me was basically him laying there watching TV.. He had the benefit of someone who knew what it was like, and he expressed how grateful he was for that and even said he felt "like a dick now, knowing what you were going through.. if you had been flipping channels I can't imagine what that would have been like".. I had even put the blanket over the TV the first time he said he didn't want it.. I figured less light would make it less intense for him while it was still very extremely intense..

I'd like to repeat with a lower dosage, during daytime or sunset.. late evening.. and with him sitting but like I did and him knowing now what it was like, he'd be a better sitter.. I'd also like to be outside, preferably a day with a little sun, blue sky, and puffy white clouds.. I just feel somehow like it would be better than a basement at night with a TV for a light source and an annoying show..

I'll see if I can upload that Mp3 or WAV or however my mp3 player recorded it.. Don't feel bad if you laugh, we both laughed in retrospect, but at the time I felt wrong because I was responsible for him and shut the mp3 player off.. If you hear his real name I'd rather just not post it on the board cause I already went with "J".

My trip helps show how important it is to weigh a dose and work your way up without machismo.. so does his.. but his trip really shows how important it is to have a sitter if you're trying the highest dose you have yet tried.. He was quite unaware for at least 20 minutes of the trip.. his duration was similar to mine, with him feeling normal again after an hour or so (but still tripped out and seeing things a little differently) but his onset was dramatically fast compared to a capsule.. I had mixed his DMT into a country time lemonade solution, which is quite citric.. it worked quite well.. his MAOI was taken about 1 hour and 5 minutes before he took the DMT and it worked fine.. I wonder how the increase in THH affected his trip different from mine.. maybe it's why he was able to stay still more..

Well I hope that's enjoyable to read.. when typing these kind of things my thoughts go all over the place and I type a lot.. Hopefully by the end I get all my thoughts onto the post.. Thanks for reading.. I'll see if I can upload that file..

 

[Eclectic]

Ok hopefully this works.. It's a wav I believe, so it shouldn't be hard to play..

Note, as I said, it's only 17 seconds of maybe 1-2 minutes of him babbling.. as it went on, it got more song-like and the syllables more pronounced.. a lot of B's..

 

[Eclectic]

Oh, I wanted to note something odd.. Throughout my life, in my dreaming life, I've not had dreams of experiences I haven't experienced while waking yet.. A good example is sex.. I never had a sexual dream until I had a real sexual experience in waking life.. This mainly applies to major events in life.. I could go to a store I've never been to in a dream, sure, but I never had a sex dream without real sex.. Last night I had a dream where I did DMT again.. I'm not sure how or what method in the dream, but I woke up and the room was looking a lot like my crystalline vision on DMT.. very weird.. It wasn't scary though.. I was more fascinated.. In the last month or 2 I taught myself to lucid dream.. I've had like 5 or so lucid dreams since beginning a book, Lucid Dreaming by Rick Waggoner.. These are my first 5 ever. I highly suggest it.. It reads like any other book where someone explores the mind and the possibilities of a mode of consciousness, but his vehicle for it is dreaming.. Quite fascinating the overlap between tripping and dreaming.. he has a lot of experiences that are just like many people's tripping experiences.

Anyone else had a DMT dream where the effect seemed real? Another interesting aspect of this is that I had a dream where I smoked DMT during the week I extracted it, or was preparing to extract it.. I smoked it in the dream and I only got threshold effects, I assume because it's all I knew of the chemical, then an odd thing happened.. it was like my brain winged it, and it was so unique I figured out I was dreaming and woke up.. There's a lucid dreaming topic, but since this was likely experienced because of this trip, I feel it's also relevant to this topic. Any people out there dreampt they took a drug and then had a trip in the dream? I have many-a-times taken other things like opiates or smoked cannabis in my dreams, but these 2 dreams with DMT were so different, the difference between me knowing the experience and me not knowing the experience was dramatic and fun to think about.

 

[Drake]

I have to say yes, last night. But it was not very vivid. But I know I was dreaming about spice. My sister did say I was laughing, and talking. She sead it sounded like I was tripping :shock: . I must of been loud too, my door was closed and I woke her up, and my mum even. I don't remember my mum coming in and asking if I was ok. My sister told me that I laughed, and sead I was ok... I would not be surprised if it was the small trip on spice yesterday, that made me "sleep loudly".

It would be nice if spice made my dreams much more vivid.

 

[Nordic]

I think you have many lessons to learn, and spice is a good way of bypassing the ego which would rather not have you acknowledge some things.
I also think you made great strides in responding to the lessons put to you. We realy are wonderfull selfcorrecting systems...
I think your final conclusion not to try it out, may fade in time when you worked it all through. Only true genius reserve the right to change its mind.
There is another side to DMT, taken in moderation which is the absolute oposite to what I think you saw, the ying that allows the yang to allow the ying to exist.
A place of the most celestial serenity and clarity and a beauty that can shame sunsets into clouds.

Many many lessons... and it (you) know the exact order in which they need to be delivered.

Much peace.

 

[Eclectic]

Well said. I know it's a lot to read, but somewhere in all my text, I did say I think it has more to offer and I'm wanting to try it again.. but during sunlight and being outside if possible, and a lower dose.. This may be in a week.. it may be in a month.. it could be years.. Last time I waited 3 years until this last extraction and I finally broke through.. for a little while, I had let go of my ego, and that was maybe the most intense 10 minutes.. That's when "I", however that could be defined at that point (an awareness I guess behind it all) was shooting through fractal pipes that reminded me of the nervous system or veins and arteries.. cosmic arteries..

I'm considering smoking some again and trying to get that to work well.. shorter sounds better for now.. I might even try it rectally, I have no qualms with that method of administration and it sounds as effective as nasal.. I could try small amounts without buying more MAOI's and work with what DMT I have left.. when I run out, I can decide if I feel I want to order more mimosa, maybe 56 grams instead of the whole 112, and I have all the supplies I need for another extraction (in a country where it's all legal of course).. so the bad trip taught me a lot, the future is bright, and as scary as it was, I for some reason have more desire to see those DMT visions.. but as I said, outside, maybe the forest with my friend if he'd come, maybe smoking it properly, maybe some other way or with MAOI again (or the little THH I have left, if it will activate it) so I can see what it is like without a scary TV and obnoxious shows..

Of course, when I do anything else, I shall report my experience back, probably in this topic.

 

[Space]

A few years back when I had that really bad nausea experience, I kinda got haunted by it. Because I didn't take anything for quite a while after, due to the fear of what that nausea put in me, I would sometimes be having have a normal dream, and as soon as I sensed that I wasn't my normal self, (getting that consciousness as you do in a lucid dream) I would think I'd taken something and was tripping in my dream, but these where nothing like actual trips, and had a few which were a complete nightmare, I remember the worst was dreaming that I was going about in my home, like I normally do, went to the bathroom to wash my face, and at that point I started getting conscious, and realised that the bathroom was arranged different, then the fear that I took something came over me and everything would melt twist and I'd be some elastic goo in an elastic gooie house haha.. I'd try and wake myself up but couldn't because I would fear not being able to. Those type of dreams didn't last too long though.. don't even have a bad dream anymore, I absolutely love dreaming, and have quite mystical kinda dreams to dreams where it can actually bore me, and i decide to wake myself up! Plus.. when I started doing mushrooms again, anything became fun..

Lucid dreaming is something I've been having for a longtime, and literally today just had one. Was intentionally though, there easy to have when you've had a long sleep, but then wake, get a bit of focus, then go back in focusing. Todays lucid, I was lying down, but had people all over like talking and interacting with me, the scene was on grass, but the sense of been on the grass back when I was at school, I'd float up, ignore all I was seeing, because it's all me anyway, but the place had walls similar to my bedroom walls around me, which didn't allow me to roam away, I get stuck trying to go through walls a lot, because you have to focus on a space your going through the wall too, it's like a stretching kinda feeling, anyway, managed to free myself of the wall, and I was on a road, so by this time, I took the moment to build my conscious awareness back up, because as anyone that has a lot of lucid dreams will know, that you can easily fall back in to unconscious dreaming, even still think your having a lucid dream. Anyway when I got really focused and was ready, I asked my guide to help me (with my life situation I'm in at the moment) instantly the picture tranformed in to a road that was going down-hill, with water rapidly flowing down it, like some sort of flood with tree logs in it. I totally didn't expect it, and didn't really want that sort of thing. I was sort of sucked in like a dream, where I'd participate with it, doing all the action reacting with it, but in one sense was just having that conscious awarenessw watching it.

And so I was going down hill, jumping from log to log and whatever I could, but couldn't get out of the scene, It had high walls that I couldn't even fly over, eventually got to the bottom, and fell in the water. And realised the only way out was up this tunnel, and I could see in the tunnel there were insects like flies, spiders etc, but not too much, again looked about, couldn't go else where, but that way, as soon as I had that realization, I awoke.

-the message was clear, and understood well.


Sorry for the long read!