A Little Scary

[djsnexus]

Hey Nexus,

A little background about my life right now. My personal life is okay. I have a great girlfriend, a great father, and a great mother. My parents are split up and my dad has always been the grounded/stable one. My mom on the other hand has always gone through a lot of issues and right now her and her husband are going through a really tough time in their marriage. Lots of arguing and throwing dagger styles of communicating with each other.

I'm living at home because I'm going to school and I can't work enough to support myself. As a result I am subject to seeing them going through these troubled times and the environment is toxic. I've reached the point where I realize that I've allowed their troubles to affect my own mental state. I've become cynical and have been putting on a happy face in my day to day. How did I come to this realization?

I loaded up my vapor genie with 30mg and broke through. Now I didn't vape to get away from the stuff going on in my home, I honestly didn't even realize how bad my own mental state had become. I was just vaping to breakthrough as I hadn't tripped in about two weeks and wanted to see what I could learn.

As inhaled my reality started shaking and everything got really dark (scary, not brightness) and I felt like I was going crazy. I closed my eyes and felt this dark presence and almost an evil vibe. I stuck with it and looked deeper into the feeling. Things sped up and I opened my eyes and was looking around my room and there weren't so much a visual effect, but more of a feeling of broken and hate. The trip started slowing and everything around me was slowly moving side to side and I just sat there in this sorrow state because of how brutal that energy was.

I was thinking to myself wow that was evil and then something clicked in my head. The trip and energy and dark feeling wasn't some spirit or whatever else, it was my own internal state. That hate was for my current mental state. I hate what I've allowed myself to become while living in my moms home. That feeling was so freeing.

I feel this weight lifted off me knowing and seeing for myself my own energy that I am generating. I realize that I need to be cognizant of the energy I give off and be responsible for it. Yes things are not okay in my home, but I need to be aware of the effect of the things around me and do more to let go of their problems. It's tough to explain, but I hope that makes sense.

Thanks for reading amigos,

-djsnexus

 

[Purges]

Makes perfect sense. What beautiful medicine this is! Just wanted to say that I know how you feel in your current situation. I hope you can liberate yourself from it soon, it is very toxic and tiring.

 

[TwennyBux]

Hey djsnexus, how's things bro?
I feel for ya man, my situation is a little different but I understand what your saying exactly. Me and my wife had been going through a rough patch and I decided to venture into hyperspace, against my own better judgement. Like you I wasn't trying to escape what was going on around me as such, to be honest I don't know what I was thinking. I did it and immediately felt an overwhelming evil feeling come across me, it was dark outside and everything had this sinister red tinge to it. I was thrown into a pretty scary place and when I tried to open my eyes to get away everything was covered in strange hieroglyphs, it also looked like my car was driving up and down the driveway really fast, which was weird.
You gotta be careful what mood you're in because when you open up the doors to your mind you don't know what you're gonna find...

 

[djsnexus]

Makes perfect sense. What beautiful medicine this is! Just wanted to say that I know how you feel in your current situation. I hope you can liberate yourself from it soon, it is very toxic and tiring.

Hey Purges, no kidding! Good to know I'm not alone in the scenario. Thankfully I graduate in June and then finding a place to start my career. Once that's lined up I'll be on my own with my lady and starting my own life.

Hey djsnexus, how's things bro?
I feel for ya man, my situation is a little different but I understand what your saying exactly. Me and my wife had been going through a rough patch and I decided to venture into hyperspace, against my own better judgement. Like you I wasn't trying to escape what was going on around me as such, to be honest I don't know what I was thinking. I did it and immediately felt an overwhelming evil feeling come across me, it was dark outside and everything had this sinister red tinge to it. I was thrown into a pretty scary place and when I tried to open my eyes to get away everything was covered in strange hieroglyphs, it also looked like my car was driving up and down the driveway really fast, which was weird.
You gotta be careful what mood you're in because when you open up the doors to your mind you don't know what you're gonna find...

Hey Twenny, things have been better, but they could always be worse. Exactly, that evil space just magnifies and becomes very apparent. The lesson is always enlightening though. Definitely gave me insight into where I was mentally and I'm thankful for that. I hope you and your wife are doing well!

Thanks for the love Purge and Twenny, I appreciate the level.

-djsnexus

 

[TwennyBux]

Anytime bro, just stay positive! I think that's what I need to do as well. It's weird no matter how scary the experiences can be, I rarely ever regret it afterwards.

Peace

 

[djsnexus]

Anytime bro, just stay positive! I think that's what I need to do as well. It's weird no matter how scary the experiences can be, I rarely ever regret it afterwards.

Peace

Thanks again Twenny. I tripped again last night and all I can say is wow. After I had the negative experience and he realization my next trip was completely different. I blasted off and half way in I opened my eyes and everything around me was outlined in gold and gems. The people I was with (a friend and my lady) were both covered in gold and gems.

The room we were in expanded and everything was this warm hue of orange. I looked at my hands and i could see the atoms that were making up my body. I was radiating this golden energy. I think the night before was the shaking off and showing me the contrast and the night after was the welcoming into that area of where I normally am.

It was beautiful.

-djsnexus