A Strong Female presence has followed me lately

[AgentClaret]

I keep sensing a strong feminine presence in my mystic experiences lately. I want to bounce it off you guys and see what you think.

We proceeded with launch by taking a couple blasts off the glass vapor pipe. Right away my buddy thought I vaped the whole hit (which I probably did, been improving my hitting method). So I'm vibrating to my core and the screaming whistling is starting but I'm concerned for him. I have the idiotic idea to get up and go to my room and load more. I barely remember it. Stupid cuz I think that was my breakthrough chance and I got too human about it and missed it.

So I lay down and close my eyes and try to get going. The rushing visuals are coming on but I keep thinking of stupid human stuff and it literally stops. This cycles a few times. I'm trying to relax and getting the obligatory neat visuals but nothing coherent. As the light in my head intensifies a sort of portal opens up and I sort of see the most complete face I've seen yet (though rendered in the colored/electric bead pixels that things tend to be.

It's a female and she's somehow beckoning to me with a sense of urgency in her features. Buuuuut then I lost the thread.

I could see glimpses of something like a person suspended in liquid and writhing. I could feel her sending out to me to come back to her quickly but to no avail.

I end up opening my eyes with a realization: this is not a DMT entity but an actual human female that almost made contact with me. That glimpsed face was the most defined face I'd seen yet and definitely a regular human female who almost looked familiar.

I almost related it to the female form I saw in my last real journey but I don't think that's right now, I think the latter was getting me prepared by the former.

I feel almost as if I'm destined to meet this girl, but is it a manifestation of my current emotions?

I've been with this same girl 10 years and I truly love her but she has changed, stagnated for lack of a better word. I care for her deeply but she's in an existential rut that she doesn't even seem to want to climb out of. Even though she's beautiful I'm starting to have a hard time feeling intimate with her. But at the same time I intend to make a last ditch effort to bring her up with me.

My psychedelic experiences have been very eye opening and uplifting lately and she just doesn't seem to share the enthusiasm. I won't force anything on her but I fear she's not going to take this path with me.

Not sure if that was all coming out in my subconcious, but then there's this... I went out to that herb shop and had a feeling the whole way there'd be a cool chick working there. Lo and behold there was and she led me to my passionflower. I'm a little shy and she was too and it seemed like we both kept avoiding eye contact. Not saying she's the chick from the dream, but just another indicator that I might need to make a change soon.

I don't want to do anything to betray my girl. She's an innocent soul at heart and she has taken so much of her personality from me. But she's becoming a little toxic. Sometimes I've felt like I got lucky and met my life partner early so I wouldn't want to do anything to betray her trust. Plus I don't really have much confidence with women I find attractive anyway.

I would never do anything while still in this relationship but this pull is so strong I feel I need to investigate it. My journey tonight was one of the not so special ones but I came away with that and also tried the most miniscule bit of changa I'd mixed up earlier and felt I was almost physically handed the idea to use it before crystal to try to let go of my human side/ego/whatever.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Again, I'm not a dirt bag and going to become intimate with another girl while I'm still with this one, but I feel I may need to try to at least seek her out and see what happens.

Also, I had the thought at the time that maybe this female was partaking of DMT at the moment and it was a strange connection... but I dunno, an equal part of me thought I was just looking into it too much. Either with DMT or natural talents, she seemed stronger and further along than I...

 

[Handel]

Hmm, I wonder if that woman in your vision is actually your Higher Self who's trying to communicate something urgent to you, and not some vision of a new woman in your life.

The reason I'm saying this is because I met my own Higher Self in a few lucid dreams as a separate person (he appears out of thin air in my dreams when I call his name). This way, we can communicate as two separate people, even if he's me (I'm female btw). He always has advice for me.

In one of the lucid dreams, I was with him and my brother. I ask him "what's the name of my brother's Higher Self?". And his reply was: "I don't know HER name".

So in my inner universe, it appears that women have higher selves that often manifest as male, and males have higher selves that appear as females. If that's remotely true for you too, and the fact that this woman in your vision is trying to tell you something, and she looks human, and the fact that you "seem to know her somehow", from where I'm sitting, it looks like it's your Higher Self trying to tell you something important.

I'd say, meditate before sleep and actively seek a lucid dream. If you meet her in your dream, make sure you ask for her name, so you can call her in future dreams too, via DMT, or via meditation. Meditating for the heart chakra can "channel" your Higher Self btw (well, if you manage that... I can reach mine only via lucid dreams so far).

 

[AgentClaret]

That sounds like the Jungian concept of animus and anima!

Will dwell on it. It felt like a separate person from me but these things can be interpreted a bunch of different ways.

 

[Handel]

Whoah! I had to google "animus and anima", since I wasn't aware of that specific Jungian theory. I landed in its wikipedia page, and what I read there shook me to the core.

In the "levels of the anima development" section, it is described that Jung had given (semi-arbitrary) names to the various stages of anima. The first level he called "Eve".

Well, my higher self's name is Heva. The Hebrew name of Eve. He's clearly a male in his appearances to me, but he has the same female name that Jung had picked. :surprised

It could be a coincidence of course, but it's truly peculiar. I haven't read about that Jungian theory until tonight! So thank you for mentioning this! The rabbit hole goes deeper!

 

[AgentClaret]

Ha! I've never even studied Jung but my lady went through a big kick on his stuff awhile ago. You're first comment struck a chord!

Isn't it weird when something you experience in DMT space has some precedence and relevance in real life?!?

 

[Praxis.]

I have feminine imagery about 80-90% of the time I use DMT. It's funny, I have always had an interest in Jungian theory, but it wasn't until after some of my DMT experiences that I decided to read up on his theories regarding archetypes. Some of his conclusions and case reports are startling--not only have I confirmed much of what I've read through primary direct experience, but what I have experienced is mirrored in his writings of both his own dreams and case examples of many of his patients. The similarities are uncanny...spooky almost. Jung is someone who dedicated much of his work trying to map out and explain mystical experience within the framework/context of his profession. I highly recommend his collected works Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious. It's almost like a psychedelic explorer's guidebook.