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a very healing experience

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mogascreeta

mogascreeta

Rising Star
well first of all im tripping pretty hard right now. (pharmahausca, 160mg fb spice, 300mg harmalas from syrian rue; changa with salvia d. and harmine and harmaline )

the first thing i want to say is that i'm sorry. i'm sorry for not being who i really am and not appreciating the beauty of dmt and maois and the spirit they bring. i'm sorry for letting days come and go and living my life in a very intoxicated state. i'm sorry to the nexus and i'm sorry to myself for missing out on a lot of life.
 
Thank you for sharing this! It takes a lot to be vulnerable and admit mistakes, fears and/or apprehensions. It may sound counter-intuitive but have you thought about a hiatus from psychoactive substances? Sometimes I step away from the experiences I enjoy the most to remind myself who I am apart from my addiction or affinity for transcendental enlightenment. I am currently undergoing a self-imposed moratorium on spice as a mechanism for perfecting myself more completely before my next communion with the Life Force.

Best wishes to you and your travels! I pray only love and blessings find you moving forward!

Namaste
Cx
 
Crumbles said:
Thank you for sharing this! It takes a lot to be vulnerable and admit mistakes, fears and/or apprehensions. It may sound counter-intuitive but have you thought about a hiatus from psychoactive substances? Sometimes I step away from the experiences I enjoy the most to remind myself who I am apart from my addiction or affinity for transcendental enlightenment. I am currently undergoing a self-imposed moratorium on spice as a mechanism for perfecting myself more completely before my next communion with the Life Force.

Best wishes to you and your travels! I pray only love and blessings find you moving forward!

Namaste
Cx
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yes i am stopping my constant drug use for a long while so that when i aproach a substance i will be able to do it with my head clear and straight and not just focus on getting higher and higher but be able to use itas a tool for introspection and overall life improvement. when i was tripping i remembered one of my friends calling me a douche bag and telling me how i used to be so cool but now i suck, etc. i told him to never talk to me again and hung up.
But while i was tripping i began to realize that he was actually right about me. i was a douche bag to him and i used him as for his weed. so i called him, still feeling quite intoxicated and hallucinating, and appologized to him and told him that he was right about me. we talked on the phone for a long time, tears were shed and it was a very real and honest talk.

i think the overall character of the trip was 'honest'. i reconnected with myself in a way that makes me an overall better person. it was a very magical trip to say the least, i drank the pharmahausca on a full stomach at 9:30p was tripping till 3:30a. at the peak of it was taking large tokes of changa and that really synergized perfectly with the pharma :shock:.

the trip made me think of all the reprecussions of my actions to other people. i didnt realize that i was actually hurting people that were very close to me and lot of it had to do with me not having my priorities in order and being high was pretty damn high on that list.
 
endlessness said:
The first step to fixing something wrong and improving, is admitting something is wrong in the first place.... Way to go! All the best in putting the lessons in practice!
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Thanks, endlessness. i really plan on taking my life in a diferent direction.:)
 
Always great to hear these reports. Remember, even while you're taking a break, the Nexus is here to provide support.
 
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