Thanks for the replies nothing and Sakkadelic.

I wanted nothing more than to be free as well. I've vibed with everthing you've written sakkadelic.

Your right it's hard to let go through the fear. Most of all I'm scared of giving up control.

I trust life but it's hard for me right now to have that pure faith and belief.

Your post was very helpful. I read it this morning and it stuck with me for most of the day.