I took it all pretty much at once, I had the freebase mixed in with some OJ that I drank about 5 min after finishing my Caapi. Two hours was quite a long peak, at times I hoped to come down but it felt that Aya had some lessons for me that had to be learned. I was very drained by the end, it felt like being reborn, I even had the feeling of being inside an egg and coming down was like hatching.
As far as the emotions go, I began to think about my relationship with my Father and Grandmother, and some miscommunications that I need to straighten out. It made me very sad to think that people who love me so much might be hurt over something very silly. It was then that I really felt the love that my family has given me, and felt deep gratitude for the blessing of their care. I cried for their gifts to me, and vowed to repay them with, honesty, love, and respect. I looked around my apartment at the artwork of my Girlfriend and cried for her love and sat in awe of her artistic gifts. I thought about all the debts that I need to repay and the responsiblity that I owe to everyone around me.
I also felt joy, I mean that I really to my core down to my bones felt the pure essence of Joy. I meditated on the word and felt its rapturous meaning. Joy is a beautiful emotion, and I can only hope that others can experience it as I did yesterday. I was also visited by and eagle/hawk totem which appeared in order to help me with some neck pain. This is the third time that I have been visited by such a bird in my visions. It's funny too because I never have had a particular attraction to birds, but I do have large double headed thunderbird tattoo on my back. At the time the tattoo represented duality and balance, but perhaps my connection to the thunderbird/raven/hawk/eagle is deeper than I had imagined.
My visions were not as cosmic as with vaped freebase, I could really see how the DMT illuminates the caapi. It felt as if I was seeing the emotions that I was feeling, and that the colors and images where deepening my understanding of those emotions.
Beautiful experience, I have some work to do before I go back!
Once