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Advice sought on how to minimise the effects of others' negative energy

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lickle_emu

Rising Star
Greetings All :)

I am looking for any suggestions from those who know more on the matter than I do of how to build up one’s psychic defences.

I ask as I work as a psychiatric nurse in a highly challenging environment which involves me working closely alongside often highly disturbed individuals who have been diagnosed with a personality disorder. As much as I value the work I do in many areas, as a highly sensitive individual I am particularly susceptible to take onboard the negative energy/projections/mind states of those around me. (This occurs to me not just in the work setting, but in all areas of my life.)

I frequently return home each day feeling absolutely ‘full-up’ with negativity, which I find hard to shake off. This, of course, impedes on my life in many areas.

Do any kind folk have any suggestions or practices as how to minimise taking onboard such negativity? (looking for another job or place of work is unfortunately out of the question at present!)

Many thanks!

- Emu
 
TO: lickle_emu

I wanted to reply to lickle's thread about his/her trouble taking on the negative thoughts of the patients in the psych ward where he/she works but I'm too new to post there... if someone sees this and knows that member, could you direct him/her to this post? Thank you.



Hey lickle,

This is in response to your thread about taking on others' negative energy.

I can definitely see how that environment would be tough on a sensitive person. I bet that many of your co-workers experience some of the same negative thoughts, but are not cognizant enough to attribute them to the people in the environment.

I don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, but my suggestion is to be as aware as possible of your own thoughts. It will take some effort, as you need to focus on your job, but if you can catch yourself having nasty thoughts, you can "change your mind" before they settle in and affect your emotional state.

You might be able to arm yourself with pre-planned positive thoughts. Thoughts that you can't help but smile about. Try to project love as much as possible. You won't be able to stop your patients from polluting the atmosphere with the poisons that choke their minds (the poor souls) but with practice you can probably protect yourself and even have a positive influence.

Hope this helps,

Sidestreet
 
Stop taking it on board.

Harder than it sounds, easier than it looks.

Imagine, that you are there to learn how to do just this.

It's just Djedi training.
 
There're many things and people whose energy will inevitably bleed over into yours and pull you out of center, and that you have no control over. It just happens. That you have noticed this is in itself a huge defense, as you can prompt yourself periodically about your thoughts and what emotions you are holding in. Try to let them pass through you without associating yourself to the feelings arising from them. It is possible to think thoughts that are not your own, and for this it becomes essential to be able to hear yourself over them if one's head is to remain clear. It is ideal to be able to sit in silence and weed through your tension as often as is practical.

Some as well choose to actively visualize a shield of colored light around themselves as they go about their day. Although I've never tried that method. On many occasions I've found that a simple 5 minute nap, in a chair or on the floor can effect a huge refresh.
 
Full respect to you lickleemu one of the hardest most challenging jobs there is im sure.
Try to empathise with these negative influences and remember its in them and their situation not you.
Make it a habit to smile afterwards and have positive thoughts because you can, some of those people will be so deeply disturbed that they cant have positive thoughts anymore butyou can!
So at the end of the shift take a deep long breath stand tall stretch into a star shape and let out a big exhale have a shake of your arms compose ypurself and smile to yourself that you are going back to a loving family (and may even smoke some spice! :D)
Make a habit of doing something positive as soon as you get home.
For realy bad days add a gut fueled roar in tthe car on the way home always worked for me.
 
jamie said:
Stop taking it on board.

Harder than it sounds, easier than it looks.

Imagine, that you are there to learn how to do just this.

It's just Djedi training.
Click to expand...

I second this. Learning how to deal with it when you are absorbing it is much more difficult than not allowing yourself to feel suffering from it in the first place. I practice this everyday. Consciously observing what I am doing while its happening helps you understand what you are doing to allow it to enter. Which is exactly what you are doing, allowing an outside source to effect your inner attitude. This causes you to have to vent it out in some ways. Lately I have been finding it difficult to do, so I have gone through a few bouts of depression, feelings of loneliness and sometimes a little anger.

It helps to take a little time here and there to go over what just happened, talk to yourself in your head (or even outloud) as if you were consoling a friend on the same issue. If you can manage to look at the situation and how you are allowing it to effect you, you will see how silly it is and allow it to pass. Of course all this takes dedication, but consciously reminding yourself everyday to do these things helps make it habit, which then experience will take its role.
 
Thank-you so much to all of you of you guys for replying to this thread. I have just returned from a night shift and to log on and see that people have taken the time to offer their thoughts has left me feeling quite touched. My love for this forum grows with each passing day.

Sidestreet - How thoughtful of you to reply in the New Members Area and ask for somebody to direct your post over.

Jamie - I read your reply several times and saw a profound message. It dawned on me that I am able to change my view and see these patients as my teachers. I will give that further thought.

Thymamai - I absolutely agree that it is possible to think thoughts that are not your own. I strongly believe that the same also holds true for feelings, and that we all to a degree 'project' parts of ourselves into others that we are unwilling or unable to face.

Anrchy - For as long as I can remember I have allowed outside sources to affect my inner attitude. I am aware that being able to change that would change my life!


I am certain that my co-workers experience similar feelings to mine as none of us are immune to the hatred that can be projected our way. (More often than not, the patients have been severely neglected and abused in their childhood and their early relationships get re-enacted in the hospital.) I often feel, however, that my colleagues are 'thicker-skinned' than I, and that I am a somewhat 'easy target' for the more aggressive types.

Patients with severe personality disorders are often able to easily sense the vulnerabilities in those around them. Coming into this line of work I have become aware of how much my own earlier history of a lack of a strong, stable fatherly prescence has affected me. As a result, I find it difficult to assert myself and my authority, and the patients know this.

Anyway, am not really sure where I am going with all of this as I am somewhat sleep deprived!

Thanks again for your replies - I will reread them later with fresher eyes.
 
inner nonreactivity to these influences is key for sensitive people, albeit easier said then done

But meditations like Antar Mauna are specifically designed to increase ones ability to let "disturbances" pass through. Try it if you can find a course.
 
I find that if I feel negative, and can be aware of the negativity(awareness is sometimes harder than shaking the negativity), I can shake it by forgiving myself for taking it on, and forgiving the person who passed it on to me. Works like a charm, and takes about 10 seconds. :)

If I was in your position, I would try to be a transformer - taking people's fear/negativity and transforming it into something positive/useful. It might not always work, but when it does, you'll feel it on the inside. ;)
 
Hey lickle_emu. I was in the same position as you 6 months ago, my workplace as well contains a lot of negative energy, some of the workers there are worn and hopeless. I became like them after couple weeks working there. When I came home from work, I was to tired to do anything.

It's not like this now, I changed. "This is not me" "I can't let others energy drag me down". "I'm going around blaming others for how I feel, but I'm not any better myself?, I'm negative as well now. Wow, I can't let this go on" I thought

So then I started rather be creative with the bad energy around me and transform it into something positive. Started to share joy and happiness to everybody and people are more happy on the workplace now, because, you create your own world you see.

It's not that hard really, you just need to come out of the mindset you are stuck in.

Wish you luck, and peace be with you my friend. Stay strong. As Jamie said, "Its Djedi training"
 
Thanks for your replies :)

I have slowly come to realise that, in my work place, not all the 'negativity' is lodged in the patients - it is very much there in the staff team, too. That includes me.

Unfortunately, I have found myself taking in others' negative projections/mindstates and passing them on through being passive-aggressive towards others or bad-mouthing them. I can see that I am not quite the innocent one that I once believed!

Lately, I have tried watching myself in difficult moments - such as when a colleague is letting off some steam - and noticing my tendency to collude with what they are saying, or to keep the drama going.

It is still early days, but I am so far enjoying my little 'experiment/meditation', and am starting to feel better about things as a result of it.

- Emu
 
I think you better see it as Jedi training, Because. As a mild psychiatric patient myself I can say that the staff here is very nice and empathic. Partly, because the people living here are just as nice. But I know that in other places with extreme psychiatric patients it is incredibly hard if not impossible to get any sort of empathic humanistic response from staff-members. It is like the staff is traumatized even worse than the patients themselves. I'm just saying, be prepared to find resistance in other staff members. And not feel bad when you can't change another person's negativity. What manners is that you feel good because that is essentially to make others feel good as well. (shot in the dark) This might mean finding like-minded persons and not paying too much attention to folks who don't share your empathic world-view.
 
Thats good to read licklemu, I work in an understaffed underesourced business with little management support meaning we get often pissed off customers. I find that I eithr have too much empathy or none t all which creates a turbulent stressful state of mind.
Im going to apply an elevated perspective today and hope that helps reduce the feedback loop and my own stressful state.
 
I second House's recommendation. I've found a dose of Rhodiola extract taken daily to generate a serene centeredness in my being, along with a coupled detachment from chaotic thoughts/feelings/energies (this is best when combined with daily meditation - 5 minutes a day is all you need to start with).

You're doing a great job! 😉
 
If there's people being negative energy generators around you, you just got to be such a positive energy machine it overwhelms the bad vibes 😁 Since these are potentially highly disturbed patients, you have to be a little more careful about how you generate those good vibes so as not to set them off, but i you can do it!

Any time you feel likes there's only darkness and negativity around, realize that's all the more reason for you to be a light of positivity and support. They may be looking to you for a light, because theirs is so diminished.

Also I used to be in the exact spot many of your patients are in now, I am manic depressive and used MDMA, coke, and LSD heavily for a couple months a few years ago and had a horrible long term chemical rebound. I went to counseling, had horrific mood swings, terrible outbreaks of anger and sadness, and other side effects.

But the one thing i can say is from that point of view, for me, someone just giving me a genuine smile or a little complement, just the slightest pleasantry would make my day noticeably better. Though there was a flip side, in that i was such a mental and emotional wreck i was far too closed off for anything more personal than that smile or complement. I hope this advice helps a little bit and hang in there 😁
 
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