allow me to introduce myself

[CosmicAlchemist]

Hello Nexus!!

I have been lurking these pages for a few weeks now and while reading become aware of the great amount of info that is stored on these pages. It's really amazing! So I decided to join the discussions and the community. I hope I can contribute to this wonderful place.

A little about myself... I live in europe and just passed the 30-yr high-water mark. Due to several circumstances in my life at the time I did not pursue a degree in anthropology, which I actually wanted to, but decided for something more practical and non-academic: I'm a carpenter and electrician, but really I'm a jack of all traids.

I have used psychedelics a couple of times in my life. Once or twice when I was in my teens a friend gave me some mushrooms and we had a good time, but I never really got into it at the time, nor did the experience go very deep. A few years ago someone introduced me to ayahuasca and man, I was blown away.

I have always been interested in spirituality, mysticism and alchemy of the spirit (which is what I wanted to study anthropology for), and finally I had found a way to first hand encounter some of the essence of this which interested me so.

After the experience I filled pages and pages of my personal journal with thoughts and conjectures. I was so thrilled. THen a few months later I tried aya again and had a very horrifying experience - possibly the worst time of my life... (I won't go into it, I'm sure you all know what a bad experience is like). I was shaken for two reasons. First of all because of the experience itself, but second of all, and this was somehow more disheartening to me, because I had somehow thought that I was meant to go down this path. Except that the second dose of aya made it clear to me that it wasn't the case.

Later I found out that the person who had brewed the aya onthe second occasion had mixed in some things that on the first occasion had not been in there, i.e. datira seeds and some mushrooms. So really it was a psychedelic coctail, and not what I had agreed to consume.

So I vowed to learn how to make this magic potion myself... after mental recovery from the bad trip... and that's how I got here.

Thank you all for reading

 

[Vodsel]

Hello CosmicAlchemist,

Don't let a bad experience decide whether this path is for you or not, specially if you were dosed a cocktail without your knowledge and consent. Most people using psychedelics will go through hard moments eventually, and that includes people who walk the path for a long time and become deeply involved in it. People who have received strong calls for shamanizing have had very tough experiences along the way.

Making your own decisions and preparing your own entheogens will help a lot. It won't necessarily avoid difficult journeys, but it will give you more tools for understanding and integration and a better picture of the map. And that's one of the reasons why we are here.

Take your time to read and learn all you can, and welcome to the Nexus.

 

[CosmicAlchemist]

Hey man, thanks for the reply.

It was just two very conflicting experiences, the latter one pretty traumatizing and not at all containing this kind of depth that the first one had. But hey, I'm over it. I waited almost two years to continue my research, just because I needed to heal.

Yesterday I decided to try a first round of smoking DMT in a water pipe. I used the sandwitch method between caapi leaves. The smoke was pretty harsh but I managed to hold it in and then I felt IT.

Like the sweetest whispers I had ever heard, like a thunderstorm singing me a lullaby. I felt like all the mysteries of the whole world were coded somehow in a 3-d message floating around me. And I felt like I was touched by the grace of God.

It was just a brief glimps. But oh so potent... I never even really believed in God, but I don't know how else to call it...

I can still feel it somehow. Like an impersonal presence following me and making me see things differently.

This substance is incredible and possibly just what I have been looking for all my life. I feel like this is the beginning of a great investigation both into the universes most profound questions and into myself.

Sorry if I'm rambling. I'm just so amazed!

 

[hostilis]

Hello Cosmic Alchemist. Welcome to the Nexus.
This website is AMAZING for all of the knowledge, experience, and information it contains in it's forums and members. You will be satisfied when you become more of a part of the community. I have yet to try ayahuasca myself. I have a lot of experience with LSD, DMT (vaped) and Cubensis. I am looking forward to trying it.
Anyways, thanks for wanting to be a part of our community. I will give you a yes vote for promotion.

Hostilis