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Amnesic journey!...

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Curiouskid

Curiouskid

Rising Star
Hi nexian's fellows,

SWIM's got doubts and questions as usual and was hoping to find any answer on this board...
He has been journeying quite regularly at least once a week, sometimes more for a while and seems to deepen ans build his spice experience and thought he was loosing the "preflight" fear few by few. But the thing is he doesn't remember anything about the flights, only sensations or feelings.
He changed his method of smoking, change extaction tech, settings, having a sitter, different dosages but everytime he is back only one question arises: WTF just happend???
During the onset everything is coming back to him (he seems to remember these feelings...), what's going on, where he is... But as soon as he is coming back it's like his brain tries to protect his mind of something and he's left only this nice feeling of bliss (which he doesn't complain about by the way...) but nothing else, no memories!!
Sometime he smokes with a friend and with only about 15mg she is conversing with entities and going in some magic places but SWIM even with 30-40mg go always to the same place where nobody is around, just really colorfull complex geometrical figures flowing with peace and joy feelings.

So for a while he was thinking the spice was maybe not for him, or he was not putting enough intention into it, maybe he should meditate for longer before a flight or try to keep in mind to remember during the trip, but nothing seemed to work.

Last week he read a thread about drinking some caapi tea before a flight, that might apparently lenghten the experience and help in remembering it, so he gave a shot with a non reduced tea w/ 5g of vine.
After waiting for a while he decided to smoke a bit later and loaded his gvg with 60mg of changa like two hours after the drink on an empty stomach.

This time he felt he managed the vaporisation better than usual, he put the pipe, closed his eyes and lied down.
Floral pattern rotating as usual and WHOOOOF again in this place where these really complicated geometrical figures are just flowing and so balanced with everything, and it seemed than he went deeper this time and felt like he was no more, like spread apart like light on a rainbow and lost track of things... At some point he touched his chest as a kind of reflex of some sort and realised he was still a human with a body and memories started to flush back, room, spice... But with these memories a big fear arised too as he was coming down, his whole body was shaking and felt so numb especially the jaws.
Once again when he was able to move and stand up with a trembling voice he asked himself: What's just happened? For how long and where?
He compares this with dream time; during the experience he seems to understand everything, he doesn't remember he's in a different state of consciousness and he'll be back to the waking one. And when he is back his brain erases every memories of the journey at a fast pace, like the dreams in the morning!

So now he doesn't know if he should push it and smoke more often till he is used to the travelling and maybe he will be able to be more confortable with the stress and have more insights in what's going on, or if he should do something differently.

SWIM would like to get any advice about that and maybe some of it is talking to you, he doesn't know if he should continue smoking if he doesn't get any idea of what's happening.
It's like reading a book in darkness and trying to remember the storie, should he keep with it till the last page?:?

Thank you for reading my friends
 
Memories of dreams fade quickly, but people remember their dreams by writing them down or recording them as soon as they awake. Would a digital recorder help? Or are all the memories already gone by the time SWIY is able to speak?
 
elphologist1 said:
Memories of dreams fade quickly, but people remember their dreams by writing them down or recording them as soon as they awake. Would a digital recorder help? Or are all the memories already gone by the time SWIY is able to speak?
Click to expand...


I concur. Even though many people may not be able to budge an inch from where they are, they can often times speak. If you can speak while you're in that state and have some external device recording what you say, especially if you immediately listen back to it right around the time you're going "what the fuck just happened" you may run a greater chance of remembering it. Whenever I wake up from a dream or finish an experience with the molecule, the details I remember the most are the ones that I orally speak, even if I don't write them down, just talking about it, even as it's fading from memory helps to preserve some of the more profound images.
 
SWIM is not sure he is able to talk while he is away as everything is so alien and far than he forgot most of the time he's got a mouth for use...
But trying to keep it in mind will probably help, next journey he will record everything; regards to writing that's really tricky because when he comes back the room is still "gaseous" and full of "flowing matter" so he is not sure he would recognise his hands and anyway the memories are quickly erased before and during this transition period.

Thank you so much guys, your advices and time is so much appreciated, will report back when progress are made
 
I know exactly what you mean by "flowing matter". It seems to be the state of solid matter for me upon return from hyperspace. I'll usually muse to myself or anyone around to listen how the walls are flowing :lol:
 
When you say "muse" do you mean "humming"? If so that's funny as SWIM's got this from his experience with Aya and so often he just catch himself humming deeply when he is coming down, like a reflex that fills him with joy as he watchs the ceiling or the walls dancing!
 
Theres seems to be a natural progression and phases to the journeys.
I too was going out pretty regularly like once a week for a long time. I think its the best way to really learn about what this is all about.

Good suggestion to talk to yourself. I did and still do alot of journeying where i stay grounded in this reality. It is possible to go very deep into hyperspace and remain very connected to this reality. try to do alot of grounding type journeys where you slowly ramp up the dose and slowly emmerse yourself deeper and deeper into the realm. Try to stay alert pay attention to everything happening as you progress.

It is possible to talk yourself through very intense experiences. Practice this technique if it doesn't come easy.

The journeys where i came back not remembering anything were usually the ones where the dose was too high or something was not right about my set or setting.

Lately I've been fully aware of everything that is happening and can also recall the majority of all my journeys.


There may be a phase or period where your initially protected by the things that are happening. Perhaps there is a reason we don't remember things at a certain point in the journeying evolution. I predict that if you stick with what your doing things will change.

keep refining your techniques as you go. Always pay attention and work on intentions to remember.

stay grounded work on your breathing be strong keep at it there will be a shift.
 
Curiouskid said:
When you say "muse" do you mean "humming"? If so that's funny as SWIM's got this from his experience with Aya and so often he just catch himself humming deeply when he is coming down, like a reflex that fills him with joy as he watchs the ceiling or the walls dancing!
Click to expand...

I didn't mean humming by muse, however having said that, I get that with pharma where I find myself wanting to hum unconditionally. It's as simple as exhaling. I don't know what note is about to come out, but I just let natural resonance do its thing. It's always ecstatic.
 
to Felnik: thanks so much man for the good advices, SWIM might let go too much and lost control of everything including his presence!...!? He thought too about the fact that forgetting is also a protection from something, he might not be ready to undrestand or see certain things, aaaah impatience of the novice...
He is definitly agree with more grounding and intentions as his new motto, the caterpillar wanted to fly too soon!

to gobalswg: eh eh yeah from outside it might be only a rough exhale but in the inside it's joy bursting with vibration!!...
 
For some reason I have an aversion to recording audio or video of myself during psychedelic experiences. Seems like the vocalizations and bodily movement and so forth made during breakthroughs should only play a role in the journey itself. The sober mind would never really understand it anyway.

Some parts of the journey must be forgotten. Nothing lasts forever...
 
The purpose of recording from the way I look at it has less to do with the incoherent grunts and incidental body movements, and more to do with saying what you see before your eyes. The sober mind can understand words 😉 Also I believe the OP was having trouble remembering all kinds of experiences, not just breakthroughs. Also, to a large extent, if you can't remember it, it might as well have not happened so if you can't remember anything about your flights, what's the point in taking them in the first place?
 
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