Hello Nexians! It is great to have finally made the decision to post. I attended the Psychedemia conference in Philadelphia, PA and after meeting a forum moderator and seeing his lovely poster, I decided to join the discussion rather than merely absorb the information.
A brief history about myself. I am a latter mid-twenties male. I had a rough couple of years through and after college. I could not understand the world around me or cope with the existence that people seemed comfortable living. Something I think many of us have experienced. Feeling desperate and disconnected, I turned to hard drugs (morphine) as a way to cope with feeling so withdrawn. After a good year of addiction, I was admitted to the local Mental Health Ward as my sanity began to slip and friends and family became concerned. It was essentially a game to get out; I felt like an actor trying to play the role they wanted me to be. My freedom was eventually granted and I emerged from the hospital only to slip into a second wave of addiction.
After this, I hit myself with a strong dose of LSD. This trip was the first I did alone. I came full circle during the experience. I don't know what really happened but I emerged a new person. I had tripped on lsd and mushrooms probably 30-40 times before this experience but this one really did it for me. I saw how everything flowed in and out of one another. How we were all one; that which is is that which is not, that which is not is that which is.
After the trip, I immediately kicked my opiate addiction and over the course of a few months, I gave up alcohol, cigarettes, became a vegetarian and found a new lease on life. Desperate to give some more clarity to my lsd experience. I left the country for a while with my wife where we worked on at a Buddhist center/organic farm. There I learned about Zen and Buddhism and began practicing yoga and meditation. Upon my return to the USA, I read a good bit more zen literature and felt much more comfortable with my person.
In the past month or so, I was lucky enough to be given a modest amount of spice (some fumurate and some smokeable). I've been a little nervous to try either (not in a bad way) and have been attempting to soak as much information on proper preparation and dosage. I've decided to start small and work my way up. I have many questions still unanswered and hope to answer them by participating in discussions on this website. I wish to be fully prepared for my journey.
Sorry if this was a long introduction, I am super excited to be a part of such a wonderful forum (which is super rare by the way) and look forward to growing with each of you. Thank you!
