Mr_DMT, I can really relate to what you said here.

For years I have made a disaster out of my life, abusing drugs, failing in school and neglecting social interaction.

If I've learned anything about this stuff, it's that I must completely surrender to the truth if I ever want to improve my situation. My brain is very good at lying to itself and ignoring the most obvious problems with my behavior. It's soooo easy to pretend I can't fix things that I don't bother trying.

Complete surrender to the truth must include the positive perspective, or it isn't complete. You can improve. It's a fact. Your ability to enact change in this world is the only thing that separates you from the rest of the universe. It's the innate truth of every human being and it is the only way forward.