wobbuffet,
Welcome to the Nexus.
I think fear of DMT is natural. If you don't have it before, you will likely eventually experience some of it after some experiences. It is just so darned intense, off the scale, and though set and setting DO matter, it kind of goes beyond set and setting and frankly, with me, when I do a hefty dose, it pretty much jettisons/Deep 6's my intention. Whatever I went in with, I am left just trying to decide if I want to hang on (not a good idea) or utterly and completely surrender (always a good idea).
The keys as far as I can determine is making it into a ritual/ceremony and having well refined letting go/surrender skills.
As I am preparing to launch I state my intention aloud. Then I say in a lower voice, "I am here to surrender; I am really here to learn." I try to compose my mind into surrender - surrender utterly to the experience, do not try to control or guide it. Surrender to the need for acceptance that whatever comes, it may not be what I sought but oh my, it sure is what I needed. Sometimes it takes long term integration time to see the full truth of this for me.
Fear is not a bad thing per se. It gives us valuable information - it tells us there is suspicion that our body or (and this is HUGE) our egos are in danger. It will try to control us to preserve the body and make sure the ego does not feel threatened. When the ego feels threatened it sends panicky signals everywhere that scream, "We are dying!!!! Stop this!!!!"
But here is the thing. . . . . we all have to go sometime. What is wrong with surrendering to death? Who knows a wonderful surprise may await once you are free of the body.
I personally believe and try to enact within my life a philosophy that unreasonable fears should be faced. From early childhood after a savage German Shepard attack I had a terrible fear of dogs. Yet facing that fear, over the long term, has caused me to come to love dogs AND has made me some real money as a cat sitter and dog walker. Facing unreasonable fears can pay off.
Is fear of DMT unreasonable?
Well if you are physically fit, in good heart and blood pressure health, then there is nothing to fear physically from DMT. It is a super safe drug as proven by it's excessively short half life of activity. It occurs naturally within our bodies, the bodies of other animals and the structure of plants. It is part and parcel part of Mother Nature.
Most of the fear comes from the ego. When the ego hears about and/or experiences DMT it recognizes it as a threat. This is because a decent dose of DMT works to free us from our connection with our bodies and if we go deeper it elevates us to a place beyond the ego.
I confess I find it hard to go that deep these days. Last time I broke free of the body (but not the ego) was over two years ago and it was an accident (I did not think that dose would take me so deep when I smoked it). I too work to attempt to manage the ego fear.
DMT is hard to do after the honeymoon ends. It is quite literally anti-addictive. When users talk about forcing themselves, they are not forcing all of their selves, they are forcing their ego to either quiet a bit or just take it, with various types of results.
I think the best way to keep fear in hand yet do some exploring is to extract some freebase DMT (see the wiki link above), invest in a good mg scale (and keep it clean, batteried, calibrated and on a flat surface), procure or create a smoking device then start/open a journal and begin explorations with low doses, gradually titrating up until you find a personal sweet spot.
Then you can do some exploring at that level and if it gets too much you can do less or abstain. If you want more you can once again begin to very gradually titrate upwards to see what there is to see.
And once you launch try to surrender utterly. You are not there to control, guide, judge . . . . you are there to observe and bring something back if possible. When dealing with something so powerful really that is all we can do.
