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Anticipation

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Atanonchronon

Rising Star
I'm currently anticipating my first taste of spice in the next couple of weeks. Throughout my youth I dosed LSD perhaps a dozen times, psilo 6 or 7 times, MDMA about the same. All pretty mundane. And then there was the singular time a friend hooked me up with 2 microdots of purified mescaline about 10 years back. On a random Wednesday I was feeling good as I showered in the AM. I decided I'd blow off all my classes and see where the mescaline would take me. At that time I had retrieved my father's old bicycle from my parent's house and was using it for a .5 mile journey to campus and back, nothing more. As the mesc hit me, and I'd been instructed "be prepared to seek safety," I found myself absolutely enthusiastic about the mechanics of the bicycle, tightening and straightening. Joked to myself "I'm probably the best bike mechanic on Earth right now" (silly as I was so novice at that point and probably wasn't even doing anything useful.) The next few hours I spent discovering a Boston I'd never known. I came in such intense contact with the environment. Making realizations such as "god how do we live around such SMELLS" and "Look at that guy on the motorcycle. He's so lazy! So out of touch!" Simplistic notions that just hit me like a ton of bricks in the moment. The experience absolutely revolutionized my attitude towards cycling, and on a larger scale, health. A couple years later I'd find myself making 65 mile overnight journeys to Cape Cod and coastal NH without hesitation. At the gym and on my bike ride ride in to Manhattan today I was trying to put my finger on what I feel is the most important aspect of entheogenic experiences. The immediate sensations, emotions, sights... Almost impossible to convey to other people in a manner that's either meaningful or fully understandable to them. But the direction these experiences point us in on a personal level kind of erases that deficit in my mind. At least for me, I felt as though all "those other voices" that allowed me to be apathetic, lazy, dismissive. Squelched. Like i was being blown up like a balloon squeezing them out until only the most 'truthful' attitudes remained. Coming from a realist perspective I get the impression that DMT, when consumed in sufficient dosage, gives us a highly 'stylized' view of our brain processes. The common "chrysanthemum" vision strikes me as your brain flipping to an inward perspective and saying "hello this is my structure" followed by the "tunnels" and "dome" which I interpret as the brain framing the way we perceive/intersect with our every day environment. The "elves" intrigues me highly. Coming from the same mindset I want to say it's once again the brain illustrating how it processes interactions with other sentient beings. The "visible tangible speech" aspect that's so common kind of reinforces that notion to me. I'm really looking forward to it, particularly to see if that "love is Universal" sensation comes up. It seems like once we hit that "ultimate plane" of brain illustration we're objectively looking at what life *really* is. I'll repost to this thread once I've nailed down how best to express what I learned from the experience and how it differs from the above paragraph. I'll try my best to down 3 tugs, shouldn't be too hard as I've got an iron constitution and pretty hearty lungs. ---- As an aside, Seymour Cray, founder of Cray Research, the early vector supercomputer company, would reportedly dig tunnels underneath his home to "talk to the elves"... Perhaps with his hyperactive brain state he was naturally prone to those very same experiences. Loosely came together for me as I've been researching the spice in anticipation.
 
I was going to quote Carly Simon's "Anticipation", but i realized i quoted "You're So Vain" recently and that reached my Carly Simon quote quota for the month. Thus, i'll just say, DMT goes far above and beyond anything you've ever experienced. However, don't be discouraged if the first time doesn't blow your top off. Sometimes it takes a couple tries. Oh, and those mescaline microdots were probably high-dose LSD.
 
[quote:183d338d1d]Oh, and those mescaline microdots were probably high-dose LSD.[/quote:183d338d1d]Doubtful, like I stated, pretty familiar with the 'ol lycerge. Was far less visual and disorienting than a strong LSD trip. Chalky little pink things. Definite sedate (sometimes almost angsty) 'soul journey' thing going on, not much euphoria. What makes you think that?
 
The jitters of excitement/anxiety, lacepipe to lips. Absolutely didn't expect such a nitrous-style onset, which kind of thew me off and perceptably "tightened my grip" on reality as my receptors became saturated. Got to toot 3 and hel...ih...whaaa? "inhale" my shaman-of-the-moment instructed me. Oh. I uh still have a lungfull of the thir... "I'm good" I say. And proceeded to enjoy the sometimes super-dimensional tesselations as the sound around me warbled off and got extremely weird. [size=9:1bce3ceb60]Just a cude momentary focus of my threshold experience. I kind of see this as a "textbook illustration" attempt at conveying something as complicated as quantum entanglement or dimensions 5 through 11 in the superstring theory hypothesis. Just breathtakingly intense. I feel like I'd be happy simply going back to the "doorway" every once in a while and trying to take better mental snapshots so i can immediately try to convey them in Illustrator once I've snapped out of it. [/size:1bce3ceb60] [img:1bce3ceb60]http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc192/Atanonchronon/D1-Threshold_ab.jpg[/img:1bce3ceb60] [quote:1bce3ceb60]However, don't be discouraged if the first time doesn't blow your top off. Sometimes it takes a couple tries. [/quote:1bce3ceb60] Precisely, now that I've acquainted myself with the onset, and know that ideally having my girlfriend laying across my lap as I massage her back, meditatively confirming the safety of the moment/place (and that it'll be there when I return) I feel as though I can go explore a little further in to the gallery. On top of that, I'm prone to accept the notion that my girlfriend's psychic energy will probably help me along, which is saying quite a lot for someone who prides himself on being a skeptical realist.
 
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