Pimp D
Smoalk Somethin'
Good Evening
Wanted to share a few words to let the community know where I'm coming from.
Firstly, please forgive the somewhat coarse handle, it is intended merely as an homage to a deceased recording artist whose ouvre I happen to cherish.
I have been a longtime lurker of the Nexus, and was in fact a casual member (sn AirshipCaptain) way back when it was still DMT-World. At the time, neither my own maturity nor the prevailing wisdom on effective teks had come particularly far, and looking back I am actually grateful that my first few attempts yielded only a few whispers of orange goo, which intrigued but did not endanger my fragile psyche overmuch :lol: . A young man of 16 really should have been busying himself with other matters, but I value the knowledge I gained, as well as the fascination with the substance which has not waned in the nine years since.
During my university years I encountered some in a commercial setting, and the experiences, while unpleasant due to purity (dubious) and methodology (tinfoil), did serve to stoke and maintain my interest. However, I approached the substance in a less than reverential manner, which was unfortunate but ultimately just a part of maturing, in my estimation.
Fast forward to the present day, when I am fortunate enough to have my material needs covered (job/investments), a private dwelling of my own, and some small measure of respect both for the substance, my safety, and the community, which I have only grown to esteem more highly. In the interest of full disclosure, the thought had crossed my mind to get involved with the substance for very wrong, materially guided reasons, but reading up on the Nexus Attitude really helped me get my mind right in a big way. It became ingrained in me that because I had benefited from the knowledge imparted by this exemplary community, I had already tacitly agreed to adhere to the code, which is now one I cherish and embrace.
Now, the position in which I find myself is as follows: I have an adequate allotment of spice generated by a bit of hard work and gumption in the kitchen (much gratitude goes to Cyb and his exemplary tek). I have a GVG with copper chore in full effect. I'm in great health, as far as I can tell. But I find myself paralyzed by preflight anxiety. Not that I haven't had some experiences out of these batches, and while they weren't particularly traumatic, I still can't shake a general sense of foreboding around loading up the GVG and having at it. The liminal space around a breakthrough seems to be just very weird like that (forgive my lack of eloquence)
So, I guess I have decided to end my lurking with the goal of getting a little encouragement and guidance from some seasoned vets, as well as give back where I can. It was nice to make a modest financial contribution, but man cannot live by bread alone and it seems only proper that I make an effort to strengthen the community by being a part of it.
I have decided to inaugurate this phase by taking a multi-day abstention from cannabis and alcohol, currently on the second full day. I can report that I slept exceedingly fitfully last night, and was tormented by dreams of government intrusion into my home, obviously a common concern to all Nexians. I feel a little sharper today, but there is not the sense that MJ is necessarily a detrimental part of my life.
Anyway, that's the long and short of it, I would welcome any questions or comments, and finally thanks to each of you for being upstanding community members.
Wanted to share a few words to let the community know where I'm coming from.
Firstly, please forgive the somewhat coarse handle, it is intended merely as an homage to a deceased recording artist whose ouvre I happen to cherish.
I have been a longtime lurker of the Nexus, and was in fact a casual member (sn AirshipCaptain) way back when it was still DMT-World. At the time, neither my own maturity nor the prevailing wisdom on effective teks had come particularly far, and looking back I am actually grateful that my first few attempts yielded only a few whispers of orange goo, which intrigued but did not endanger my fragile psyche overmuch :lol: . A young man of 16 really should have been busying himself with other matters, but I value the knowledge I gained, as well as the fascination with the substance which has not waned in the nine years since.
During my university years I encountered some in a commercial setting, and the experiences, while unpleasant due to purity (dubious) and methodology (tinfoil), did serve to stoke and maintain my interest. However, I approached the substance in a less than reverential manner, which was unfortunate but ultimately just a part of maturing, in my estimation.
Fast forward to the present day, when I am fortunate enough to have my material needs covered (job/investments), a private dwelling of my own, and some small measure of respect both for the substance, my safety, and the community, which I have only grown to esteem more highly. In the interest of full disclosure, the thought had crossed my mind to get involved with the substance for very wrong, materially guided reasons, but reading up on the Nexus Attitude really helped me get my mind right in a big way. It became ingrained in me that because I had benefited from the knowledge imparted by this exemplary community, I had already tacitly agreed to adhere to the code, which is now one I cherish and embrace.
Now, the position in which I find myself is as follows: I have an adequate allotment of spice generated by a bit of hard work and gumption in the kitchen (much gratitude goes to Cyb and his exemplary tek). I have a GVG with copper chore in full effect. I'm in great health, as far as I can tell. But I find myself paralyzed by preflight anxiety. Not that I haven't had some experiences out of these batches, and while they weren't particularly traumatic, I still can't shake a general sense of foreboding around loading up the GVG and having at it. The liminal space around a breakthrough seems to be just very weird like that (forgive my lack of eloquence)
So, I guess I have decided to end my lurking with the goal of getting a little encouragement and guidance from some seasoned vets, as well as give back where I can. It was nice to make a modest financial contribution, but man cannot live by bread alone and it seems only proper that I make an effort to strengthen the community by being a part of it.
I have decided to inaugurate this phase by taking a multi-day abstention from cannabis and alcohol, currently on the second full day. I can report that I slept exceedingly fitfully last night, and was tormented by dreams of government intrusion into my home, obviously a common concern to all Nexians. I feel a little sharper today, but there is not the sense that MJ is necessarily a detrimental part of my life.
Anyway, that's the long and short of it, I would welcome any questions or comments, and finally thanks to each of you for being upstanding community members.
fear is a healthy part of learning about who you are
