It sounds to me like you are discovering the way in which entheogenic plants were used by the native people who lived off the land and first discovered them. Which was not for 'party highs', though they did hold festivals with there use, it was primarily something reserved for the tribe healer for entering the spirit realms and gaining insight into sicknessess as well as contacting the ascended.

I can validate your claim as I have been able to make visual contact with my father, whom killed himself when I was a child, through the use of entheogenic plants.

Life can be a weary process my friend, let us find strength in our time to honor and cherish the life of others and time we are given here on this spec floating in a sea of specs that we know as Earth