Being all that which is not.

[GodEatGod]

"Ah, screw it!". Finally. The GVG was loaded already, all that was left was for me to overcome the fear, the anxiety of letting go . My sister's boyfriend was just about to come out of this trip when I finally decided it was time. GVG - Check. Flame - Check. Vapor - Check.

One of the last things I remember was hearing my sister asking me "Did you just..?" I would probably had been surprised at how fast it hit me, hadn't I been busy getting launched from this version of reality. It all came over me so fast, so much faster than anything I've ever experienced before, it was almost instant. I went from everything that is, to... a nothingness, a dancing emptiness. There was no exploding colours, no visions of mechanic phoenix-like chickens wearing organic tree-masks displaying their complex five dimensional dances inside and around my head, no rogue entities helping me getting through that oily veil, trying to load me up with as much information as possible.

This was something totally different. This wasn't. There was no light, for there could be no light. There was no darkness, for there could be no darkness. There was no me, for I could not be. All that was was a tranquil wave of emptiness. It was pure existance, an electrical pulse with no beginning or end, a formless serenity, extatic rapture over just being.

It was over in just a moment, but it had lasted forever. I remember a really high-pitched metallic/crystalline sound, at least at the very end, but that was all there was, at least when it comes to the senses.

As I came down, I was pushing myself into the couch's pillows, wanting to scream in utter happiness. I noticed, however, that it's hard to do while trying to draw breath through a thick pillow, something I might want to keep in mind for the future.

I turned around as a first response to getting asked "How are you?". Apparently, "I'm awesome!" was the last thing my sister and her boyfriend had expected to hear, as I had looked possessed during my trip. At first, I had tensed up, almost convulsing, and I had started to cough, or tried to clear my throat. Then I had started "pulling things out of my mouth" before I started "pulling and pushing stuff off of me" as if I had snakes or something crawling on me. The last thing I did, before throwing myself back on the couch and trying to push myself through the pillows, was to sweep averything off of the livingroom table (including all of the spice). I did all of this, which I have no memories off.

Being told all of this, I'm not suprised my sister had the look she did when I told her I felt awesome. She thought I had faced my worst fears and demons. Maybe I had been, just that I don't remember it? I don't know, all I know is that I just had experienced something undescribable, something that left me feeling completely cleansed, renewed, and with a feeling of love of and for everything.

 

[Kromey]

Completely relate to this! Did you reach the brink of death of your consciousness? I did, and it was a strangely blissful process involving flashbacks from important experiences I'd had in my life. Total sensory stimulation was aroused alongside these flashbacks too, i.e. smells that I had long since forgotten came back to me, and it was so natural and calm. Then brief panic which left a resounding dread feeling at the certainty my mind was getting ready for the big sleep. But instead of my spirit departing my body and my mind entering its big sleep, it didn't, and I was left with what you described, utter existence in its purest form, just my spirit - and this was were much self-assurance and self-insight was gained.

There were no entities that people often speak of, just indescribably potent visuals and flashbacks, and as close an experience as is possible to death.

 

[DMT Psychonaut]

That's very interesting , although this seems more like it belongs in first steps into hyperspace sub as it doesn't seem much of an introdution :? . Anyhoo, Welcome to the Nexus I hope you feel welcome here and thank you for sharing your experience

 

[GodEatGod]

Completely relate to this! Did you reach the brink of death of your consciousness? I did, and it was a strangely blissful process involving flashbacks from important experiences I'd had in my life. Total sensory stimulation was aroused alongside these flashbacks too, i.e. smells that I had long since forgotten came back to me, and it was so natural and calm. Then brief panic which left a resounding dread feeling at the certainty my mind was getting ready for the big sleep. But instead of my spirit departing my body and my mind entering its big sleep, it didn't, and I was left with what you described, utter existence in its purest form, just my spirit - and this was were much self-assurance and self-insight was gained.

There were no entities that people often speak of, just indescribably potent visuals and flashbacks, and as close an experience as is possible to death.

Oh, yes I did, I did indeed. I had never experiened anything even remotely like it before that experience, so I think it's impossible to put words to it, but yeah, it was like a Big Sleep.

I've invested in a GVG and I guess I got the proper smoking technique down for the first time that night, since it came on harder and faster than ever before. I went from Here to Nowhere in just a few seconds, there was no time to enjoy the scenery while getting propelled out of existance, instead everything just imploded. And then there was nothing, for an eternity. An eternity that ended, somehow. This might very well being me not remembering anything of "what actually happened" due to actually using my tools properly and actually getting too much, but that night, too much was all I've ever wished for

 

[GodEatGod]

That's very interesting , although this seems more like it belongs in first steps into hyperspace sub as it doesn't seem much of an introdution :? . Anyhoo, Welcome to the Nexus I hope you feel welcome here and thank you for sharing your experience

Yeah, I know, I just felt like I wanted to post that very experience in here too, since you'd know where I'm coming from.
Me, I'm a scandinavian in my upper twenties. I've survived an upbringing I wouldn't wish on anyone, while being thankful for
that very upbringing, since that's what made me into the person I am. I've figured out I'd been depressed since my early teens, something I got "awoken" from a few years ago, as I took my first trip on mushrooms (something I did on my own, after extensive reading and studying). For the first time in over a decade, I felt joy. True joy, I was happy to just be alive, and that was something I hadn't felt in years. So that's what brought me into the world of psychedelics. And my life's so much better since. I was zealous at first, I wanted to share my experiences with the world. I guess that happens to people, sometimes

Since that day I've had lots of experiences with psychedelics, and I've come to a point where I've had enough (not counting DMT here, which I consider a whole other type of candy). For now, at least. It seems like I've come to a point where I just dissolve, no matter how low a dose I take. It might be that I've stumbled upon yet another step inte "psychedelic evolution" or whatever you should call it, but right now, I'm quite not ready for it.

I've turned my life around, completely, since that first trip. If you put me next to the person I was a few years ago, all that would be the same would be our looks, give or take a few years of aging. I'm no longer that destructive person, always managing to put myself in situations that gives me another possibility to ruin everything that's good for me, I can actually get up in the mornings, I enjoy the company of others, I managed to get out of a destructive relationship, I've gotten to know my sister again and I'm happy she's in my life. I'm happy to be alive, and that happiness springs out of not being afraid.

So, that's a little bit of info on me. I'm sorry if it's a bit messy, I just started writing and that's what came out of it. Oh, and english's not my native language, so if I mess up with spelling or grammar, know why, but don't be afraid to correct me, I always wanna get better

 

[Jin]

nice post and and interesting nAme
glad to hear you like spice mate , welcome to the nexus and smoke smoke smoke away

 

[Kromey]

Oh, yes I did, I did indeed. I had never experiened anything even remotely like it before that experience, so I think it's impossible to put words to it, but yeah, it was like a Big Sleep.

I've invested in a GVG and I guess I got the proper smoking technique down for the first time that night, since it came on harder and faster than ever before. I went from Here to Nowhere in just a few seconds, there was no time to enjoy the scenery while getting propelled out of existance, instead everything just imploded. And then there was nothing, for an eternity. An eternity that ended, somehow. This might very well being me not remembering anything of "what actually happened" due to actually using my tools properly and actually getting too much, but that night, too much was all I've ever wished for

Cool! I was somewhat drunk and on rolls, so I perhaps jumped at the opportunity to try spice all too impulsively and naively. It's the strongest trance I've ever been in, and you're right it just rockets you right out of this world - terrifying but eerily calm at the same time. I've only ever seen one person get a strong breakthrough, and their face looked sinisterly pleasured; like a big orgasm had just taken place.. Strange, strange stuff, tis this DMT.