Usul
Rising Star
This summer has been a wild summer of learning for me. My life has taken a radical turn for the better. Removing myself from the bondage of our culture and being re-united with the very special "one that got away." And last but certainly not least, the discovery of the Spice (which I had labeled it myself before finding this forum... I am a huge Frank Herbert Dune fan).
This is a quick summary of SWIMs first three breakthroughs, as remembered by him:
I did one for three consecutive days in the morning after breakfast. Note: I had previously smoked the Spice via a vaporizer but not amounts to see anything, just enough to bring a sense of calm that allowed me to meditate easier.
First day: I took about 30mg of Syrian Rue harmala extract and waited an hour before taking 20mg more (more or less). I then loaded a full bowl of Spice soaked leaves (now dry of course, and if I had to guess I would think there was somewhere between 40-70mg of Spice in the non-intoxicating herb leaves) and went upstairs to my bedroom with all my transportation device equipment (music, eye-covers, headphones). I had heard of the "ego-death" from Ayahuasca experiences, but was ready to "take it on," so to speak.
Let me stress how important I think the right music is to the experience. For me, "chant music" – repetitive sounds with the purpose of reaching a higher state – worked best. This music got me to the same "place" all three experiences and since then I've realized that other music doesn't get me to the same place. I think the vibration of music is actually like the coordinates of where you travel.
Anyway, I digress. I started the music before I smoked, gave my thanks to the plants that have given me this gift, and then promptly smoked the entire bowl until there was nothing left. I barely had enough time to put the pipe down and cover my eyes before I was GONE.
A black wall with bright grid-patterns appeared on it. In a matter of 5-10 seconds I flew towards the wall at incredible speed and when we made contact... I was thrust into another realm. No ego-death, no fear. Just amazement at what I was seeing. Lights and colors I won't even try to explain. I could sense others there with me. They were of light, and I seemed to be in a place where many of them were relaxing. I thought to myself, "This must be a park or public place for them." But I'm sure that was just my limited thinking. I asked them if I could bring others here, because the desire of sharing it was overwhelming. They told me of course it's OK.
Then I changed locations when a new song began (more evidence to me of the importance of music for "coordinates" ). There was only one entity there, and it was so great and pure I can only imagine it as Divine. But I don't know. This could have just been my limited knowledge. For all I know, this guy was just a regular resident over there. But to me the feeling of peace, love and warmth made me think otherwise.
Here's where it gets a little crazy. I started talking with this guy. About the state of the world and about the state of my fellow brothers (humans). He said, "Well, why don't you do something about it?" And then I was taken to outer-space, floating above planet Earth. I felt super empowered... frighteningly so. Something kept repeating itself in my head: "These entities don't know how dire our situation is here on the planet!" I thought this is absurd. How could they not know? Regardless, because I felt empowered by this "Divine" being, I began to test my limits. I "called" on the entities I had seen when I first broke through. At the moment of my command a portal seemed to open up (best explanation I can give... I remember physically opening this gateway and that it was dependent wholly on me to keep it open) and from it those beautiful light beings began to pour through the gateway and began to swirl around the Earth. They would occasionally dart down to the surface of the planet, where they were finding (and entering?) other people like myself who were had already committed their lives to the defense of humanity (against itself) and of the Earth. I specifically remember asking for "reinforcements" for the battle that has already begun for the soul of humanity and of the Earth. This went on for at least 30-45 more minutes. Even as I felt the effects of the Spice fading, my control and access to this power remained. I did not leave their presence nor did the gateway close. I felt incredibly empowered. Thinking to myself that even with fading effects of the Spice I can still do this! It was effortless to remain in this state.
Eventually I did leave, but it wasn't because I had to. It was because I now knew work had to be done in this realm, the physical realm. Duty called, but everyone knew I would be back. It was a very controlled departure. I can only describe it as a very pleasant and non-rushed parting after an enjoyable visit with family or very close friends. I spoke with the "Divine" being for a little before I moved back to the space where I had seen several Light-beings, who I also talked to casually for a while before saying "see you later." That's the conclusion of Trek #1.
Second Day: I won't repeat things. Much of my second experience is the same as the first, except I remember less of the first 10-15 minutes than before. Once again, used the same music and dosage (always eyeballing the leaf). The only different thing this time was that I think I saw Death. Not experience, but saw. It was a very dark figure... wispy. I felt no fear of it because I could tell I was visiting it and it not visiting me. I know, weird. Anyway, point being that it was guarding something. When I looked at what it was that it was guarding I could see a bunch of faces (alive faces) pressed against a barrier I couldn't see, sort of like when you squeeze your face up against a window. Lots of faces. I saw some dead relatives. It then dawned on me that while the soul never dies, it can indeed become trapped somewhere (for whatever reason). This made me sad but at the same time glad that the souls in there weren't really dead. And it made me realize just what a joke Death really is. Death is nothing more than a glorified jail warden.
Third Day
Once again, same dosage, music and environment. Here comes the ego-death. Why it got delayed to the third journey, no clue. Could have been because my friend implanted a seed of doubt in my head the day before. I won't spread his doubt seed around by repeating it. Doubt kills power of the Heart like Fear kills power of the Mind.
I don't know if I took a larger does than normal (because I always eyeball) or if other circumstances prompted this, but on this journey I had to grapple with panic and fear for a good 20 minutes before I eventually won and was able to enjoy the rest of the 90 minutes or so of it. Like before, I was thrust quickly into the other realm. But this time something was different. For some reason I felt trapped, like I wouldn't return. The music I played took me to the same place but this time song seemed to go on forever. What must have been 5 minutes our time... well I felt like I was there for days. Crazy thoughts went into my head like my friends are probably trying to break into my house right now to see what the hell was up with me. And what a shame it was that I wasn't able to experience this with others like I had wanted to. At one point I opened my eyes to try to "wake from the dream" but all I discovered is that I was in a place that looked like my room, but it was a fake, a clone. I "knew" it wasn't really my room. At this point I really started questioning reality. I felt an urge to let the panic win and to try to rip myself from the state by walking around. But instead I closed my eyes and began to fight with the panic, not allowing it to win. I could feel the confusion of the other entities as they did not understand why I was the way I was. But they helped by saying "there is nothing to fear." I defeated the panic and the fear by accepting that it wouldn't be so bad if I were to just stay here anyway with all these entities. In a sense, accepting that I wouldn't return to "my world" and had willingly left it behind. Immediately after this I was back to the beautiful realm of the first two experiences. But I was still rattled from my fight and for the bulk of the remainder of this trip I simply let the energy and calm of those around me to soak into me. I didn't talked, but just recovered. By the time I returned I was smiling and reflecting on all the lessons I had been taught in these three days.
The three days that taught me more than I've learned in all my life.
-Usul
This is a quick summary of SWIMs first three breakthroughs, as remembered by him:
I did one for three consecutive days in the morning after breakfast. Note: I had previously smoked the Spice via a vaporizer but not amounts to see anything, just enough to bring a sense of calm that allowed me to meditate easier.
First day: I took about 30mg of Syrian Rue harmala extract and waited an hour before taking 20mg more (more or less). I then loaded a full bowl of Spice soaked leaves (now dry of course, and if I had to guess I would think there was somewhere between 40-70mg of Spice in the non-intoxicating herb leaves) and went upstairs to my bedroom with all my transportation device equipment (music, eye-covers, headphones). I had heard of the "ego-death" from Ayahuasca experiences, but was ready to "take it on," so to speak.
Let me stress how important I think the right music is to the experience. For me, "chant music" – repetitive sounds with the purpose of reaching a higher state – worked best. This music got me to the same "place" all three experiences and since then I've realized that other music doesn't get me to the same place. I think the vibration of music is actually like the coordinates of where you travel.
Anyway, I digress. I started the music before I smoked, gave my thanks to the plants that have given me this gift, and then promptly smoked the entire bowl until there was nothing left. I barely had enough time to put the pipe down and cover my eyes before I was GONE.
A black wall with bright grid-patterns appeared on it. In a matter of 5-10 seconds I flew towards the wall at incredible speed and when we made contact... I was thrust into another realm. No ego-death, no fear. Just amazement at what I was seeing. Lights and colors I won't even try to explain. I could sense others there with me. They were of light, and I seemed to be in a place where many of them were relaxing. I thought to myself, "This must be a park or public place for them." But I'm sure that was just my limited thinking. I asked them if I could bring others here, because the desire of sharing it was overwhelming. They told me of course it's OK.
Then I changed locations when a new song began (more evidence to me of the importance of music for "coordinates" ). There was only one entity there, and it was so great and pure I can only imagine it as Divine. But I don't know. This could have just been my limited knowledge. For all I know, this guy was just a regular resident over there. But to me the feeling of peace, love and warmth made me think otherwise.
Here's where it gets a little crazy. I started talking with this guy. About the state of the world and about the state of my fellow brothers (humans). He said, "Well, why don't you do something about it?" And then I was taken to outer-space, floating above planet Earth. I felt super empowered... frighteningly so. Something kept repeating itself in my head: "These entities don't know how dire our situation is here on the planet!" I thought this is absurd. How could they not know? Regardless, because I felt empowered by this "Divine" being, I began to test my limits. I "called" on the entities I had seen when I first broke through. At the moment of my command a portal seemed to open up (best explanation I can give... I remember physically opening this gateway and that it was dependent wholly on me to keep it open) and from it those beautiful light beings began to pour through the gateway and began to swirl around the Earth. They would occasionally dart down to the surface of the planet, where they were finding (and entering?) other people like myself who were had already committed their lives to the defense of humanity (against itself) and of the Earth. I specifically remember asking for "reinforcements" for the battle that has already begun for the soul of humanity and of the Earth. This went on for at least 30-45 more minutes. Even as I felt the effects of the Spice fading, my control and access to this power remained. I did not leave their presence nor did the gateway close. I felt incredibly empowered. Thinking to myself that even with fading effects of the Spice I can still do this! It was effortless to remain in this state.
Eventually I did leave, but it wasn't because I had to. It was because I now knew work had to be done in this realm, the physical realm. Duty called, but everyone knew I would be back. It was a very controlled departure. I can only describe it as a very pleasant and non-rushed parting after an enjoyable visit with family or very close friends. I spoke with the "Divine" being for a little before I moved back to the space where I had seen several Light-beings, who I also talked to casually for a while before saying "see you later." That's the conclusion of Trek #1.
Second Day: I won't repeat things. Much of my second experience is the same as the first, except I remember less of the first 10-15 minutes than before. Once again, used the same music and dosage (always eyeballing the leaf). The only different thing this time was that I think I saw Death. Not experience, but saw. It was a very dark figure... wispy. I felt no fear of it because I could tell I was visiting it and it not visiting me. I know, weird. Anyway, point being that it was guarding something. When I looked at what it was that it was guarding I could see a bunch of faces (alive faces) pressed against a barrier I couldn't see, sort of like when you squeeze your face up against a window. Lots of faces. I saw some dead relatives. It then dawned on me that while the soul never dies, it can indeed become trapped somewhere (for whatever reason). This made me sad but at the same time glad that the souls in there weren't really dead. And it made me realize just what a joke Death really is. Death is nothing more than a glorified jail warden.
Third Day
Once again, same dosage, music and environment. Here comes the ego-death. Why it got delayed to the third journey, no clue. Could have been because my friend implanted a seed of doubt in my head the day before. I won't spread his doubt seed around by repeating it. Doubt kills power of the Heart like Fear kills power of the Mind.
I don't know if I took a larger does than normal (because I always eyeball) or if other circumstances prompted this, but on this journey I had to grapple with panic and fear for a good 20 minutes before I eventually won and was able to enjoy the rest of the 90 minutes or so of it. Like before, I was thrust quickly into the other realm. But this time something was different. For some reason I felt trapped, like I wouldn't return. The music I played took me to the same place but this time song seemed to go on forever. What must have been 5 minutes our time... well I felt like I was there for days. Crazy thoughts went into my head like my friends are probably trying to break into my house right now to see what the hell was up with me. And what a shame it was that I wasn't able to experience this with others like I had wanted to. At one point I opened my eyes to try to "wake from the dream" but all I discovered is that I was in a place that looked like my room, but it was a fake, a clone. I "knew" it wasn't really my room. At this point I really started questioning reality. I felt an urge to let the panic win and to try to rip myself from the state by walking around. But instead I closed my eyes and began to fight with the panic, not allowing it to win. I could feel the confusion of the other entities as they did not understand why I was the way I was. But they helped by saying "there is nothing to fear." I defeated the panic and the fear by accepting that it wouldn't be so bad if I were to just stay here anyway with all these entities. In a sense, accepting that I wouldn't return to "my world" and had willingly left it behind. Immediately after this I was back to the beautiful realm of the first two experiences. But I was still rattled from my fight and for the bulk of the remainder of this trip I simply let the energy and calm of those around me to soak into me. I didn't talked, but just recovered. By the time I returned I was smiling and reflecting on all the lessons I had been taught in these three days.
The three days that taught me more than I've learned in all my life.
-Usul
