biohazard72
Rising Star
Long post.
Setting: my bedroom, under the covers, which are neatly tucked. A touch lamp remains on (on the highest setting, so one touch turns it off). It's my first launch in about a month, and the last one was drunken with a friend (my part-time roommate, and former best friend/current good friend hereby referred to as A.), so it's my first serious journey in several.
I've had 62mg preloaded in my machine for about 3 weeks, for an occasion such as this, but I've been afraid to use it due to it's great power. At this point I'm not even sure if I want to go. Holding the machine to my mouth, I light the torch lighter off to the side of the machine. It burns for a moment, but I flick it off. I lean back, then forward and do it again. This time the torch is a little closer to the bottom of the machine. I see a flicker of smoke emerge into the chamber of the machine. "Well, I guess I have to go now," was my logic. I'm surprised how calm I remain. I inhale deeply but cough on my first hit. I take a long second hit and feel the familiar headspace take over, while visual imagery becomes sharper. I attempt a third hit but cannot get much more in this state. I touch the nearby lamp to darken the room and curl up, closing my eyes. (I had difficulty keeping them completely closed - I've had good experiences with a homemade sleep mask, but it got destroyed. I'm thinking a good sleep mask would help).
Almost immediately I'm grateful I went back. It's odd, because my last (individual and drunken-on-a-whim) experiences were quite positive, yet I didn't want to return for a long time. I try to make sense of what I'm seeing, but fail. Intricate, impossible geometry, mainly triangular. I'm reminded of that old painting of the staircases, going up, across, down, everywhere with men walking on them.
I try to decide where in my field of vision to focus my attention. I'm quite euphoric but distressed that wherever I focus my attention, I can't discern anything.
Time passes, and the intricate geometry folds on itself, outward, etc... at some point, I discern the silhouettes of some friends, as if they are standing over me. As my focus drifts from left to right, I see them and feel their presence in the room. They disappear and an unknown silhouette appears at the center of my vision: it's shape is not human but is clearly anthropomorphic.
As the visions fade, the sounds become more apparent. Rhythmic, pulsating sounds. If I focus on them, I can change the frequency and increase intensity. I love the sounds.
As they fade, I return to my machine and, as is customary, hit it until it is cleared. There's maybe one inhalation left. I turn off the lamp and curl up. The visions are similar, but seem deteriorated, lacking sharpness. I only see washed out geometric patterns, but the return of the sounds is nice. The comedown sounds might be my favourite part, apart from possibly the breakthrough visions.
I curl up and listen to the sounds play out, intending to fall asleep as I come off. I had an assignment to wake up and do the next day (today - it's done and submitted) But it was just too interesting. I wanted to go back.
Having heard of harmalas increasing the duration of a peak, I decide to go for it. I attempt to hold 150mg rue extract (which I find pleasant until over 300mg orally) sublingually, but realize I'm terrible and after 5 minutes or so, swallow it. I load 50mg yellow-orange DMT into the machine (it's turned this colour from age: it started a cream colour). I watch TV (Malcolm in the Middle) until I feel them come on, which manifests in a lazy feeling in my neck muscles.
I turn off the TV and go without much thought. I take a small hit for the first one, just to get my lungs accustomed, and hold it until a count of 5. I made the second hit a massive one - I feel the desire to cough near the end, but after holding it for 2 seconds, it passes. I hold this one for probably around 7 seconds, and when I exhale, I see I nearly ghosted the hit. I go to take the remainder of it - torch dies. I try several times to light it and fail. I put it down, turn off the light, and enter hyperspace frustrated. However, I knew it would be stronger than before, judging solely by the intensity of the carrier wave.
I close my eyes, still somewhat frustrated. I know that DMT trips can be controlled emotionally, so I try to convince myself to enjoy it. The images begin similar to before, but then change to something more familiar to me. My consciousness is in a room, I perceived it as a kitchen. My point of view appears to be from under a cupboard. I see the floor and the kitchen counter. A man hugs a woman. I think I recognize them as A. and his girlfriend.
The image morphs, and I see him (and my other friends) assembled left-to-right across my field of vision, arms out as to hug me. I move to hug them, and they disappear, the elements of their shapes becoming a face which winks and laughs. I find it comical that DMT is playing with me.
As I come down, I turn on the lamp with the intention of adjusting the setting on my lighter and finishing the last of the dose. But I'm suddenly fascinated by my hand. You know how you see chimpanzee hands and see them as different than your own? It was the exact same feeling applied to my own hand, as if I was seeing it for the first time. I realize how much we accomplish with this simple tool. The lines of my hand have never been sharper or more vibrant.
I fix my lighter, and take the last of the dose - a very small hit, meaning I almost cleared it the first time anyway. I curl up on my side and think. Why is my current best friend never a part of my visions? Why is A. way overrepresented? I realize that I haven't been emotionally intimate with anyone for many years, and my current best friend doesn't truly know me because I shut him out. I love A. more for this reason, because he knows and understands me better, despite us being less good of friends than in the past. It's an issue I'd forgotten to address and will begin to make strides in improving. Nonetheless, I'm excited, because smoked DMT had yet to be entheogenic to me until this point!
After failing to sleep, I watched some TV and went to bed. I woke up today with some slight harmala aftereffects (a bit gassy, stomach was a bit noisy) but I ate and pooped and now feel great
.
Thank you, DMT!
Setting: my bedroom, under the covers, which are neatly tucked. A touch lamp remains on (on the highest setting, so one touch turns it off). It's my first launch in about a month, and the last one was drunken with a friend (my part-time roommate, and former best friend/current good friend hereby referred to as A.), so it's my first serious journey in several.
I've had 62mg preloaded in my machine for about 3 weeks, for an occasion such as this, but I've been afraid to use it due to it's great power. At this point I'm not even sure if I want to go. Holding the machine to my mouth, I light the torch lighter off to the side of the machine. It burns for a moment, but I flick it off. I lean back, then forward and do it again. This time the torch is a little closer to the bottom of the machine. I see a flicker of smoke emerge into the chamber of the machine. "Well, I guess I have to go now," was my logic. I'm surprised how calm I remain. I inhale deeply but cough on my first hit. I take a long second hit and feel the familiar headspace take over, while visual imagery becomes sharper. I attempt a third hit but cannot get much more in this state. I touch the nearby lamp to darken the room and curl up, closing my eyes. (I had difficulty keeping them completely closed - I've had good experiences with a homemade sleep mask, but it got destroyed. I'm thinking a good sleep mask would help).
Almost immediately I'm grateful I went back. It's odd, because my last (individual and drunken-on-a-whim) experiences were quite positive, yet I didn't want to return for a long time. I try to make sense of what I'm seeing, but fail. Intricate, impossible geometry, mainly triangular. I'm reminded of that old painting of the staircases, going up, across, down, everywhere with men walking on them.
I try to decide where in my field of vision to focus my attention. I'm quite euphoric but distressed that wherever I focus my attention, I can't discern anything.
Time passes, and the intricate geometry folds on itself, outward, etc... at some point, I discern the silhouettes of some friends, as if they are standing over me. As my focus drifts from left to right, I see them and feel their presence in the room. They disappear and an unknown silhouette appears at the center of my vision: it's shape is not human but is clearly anthropomorphic.
As the visions fade, the sounds become more apparent. Rhythmic, pulsating sounds. If I focus on them, I can change the frequency and increase intensity. I love the sounds.
As they fade, I return to my machine and, as is customary, hit it until it is cleared. There's maybe one inhalation left. I turn off the lamp and curl up. The visions are similar, but seem deteriorated, lacking sharpness. I only see washed out geometric patterns, but the return of the sounds is nice. The comedown sounds might be my favourite part, apart from possibly the breakthrough visions.
I curl up and listen to the sounds play out, intending to fall asleep as I come off. I had an assignment to wake up and do the next day (today - it's done and submitted) But it was just too interesting. I wanted to go back.
Having heard of harmalas increasing the duration of a peak, I decide to go for it. I attempt to hold 150mg rue extract (which I find pleasant until over 300mg orally) sublingually, but realize I'm terrible and after 5 minutes or so, swallow it. I load 50mg yellow-orange DMT into the machine (it's turned this colour from age: it started a cream colour). I watch TV (Malcolm in the Middle) until I feel them come on, which manifests in a lazy feeling in my neck muscles.
I turn off the TV and go without much thought. I take a small hit for the first one, just to get my lungs accustomed, and hold it until a count of 5. I made the second hit a massive one - I feel the desire to cough near the end, but after holding it for 2 seconds, it passes. I hold this one for probably around 7 seconds, and when I exhale, I see I nearly ghosted the hit. I go to take the remainder of it - torch dies. I try several times to light it and fail. I put it down, turn off the light, and enter hyperspace frustrated. However, I knew it would be stronger than before, judging solely by the intensity of the carrier wave.
I close my eyes, still somewhat frustrated. I know that DMT trips can be controlled emotionally, so I try to convince myself to enjoy it. The images begin similar to before, but then change to something more familiar to me. My consciousness is in a room, I perceived it as a kitchen. My point of view appears to be from under a cupboard. I see the floor and the kitchen counter. A man hugs a woman. I think I recognize them as A. and his girlfriend.
The image morphs, and I see him (and my other friends) assembled left-to-right across my field of vision, arms out as to hug me. I move to hug them, and they disappear, the elements of their shapes becoming a face which winks and laughs. I find it comical that DMT is playing with me.
As I come down, I turn on the lamp with the intention of adjusting the setting on my lighter and finishing the last of the dose. But I'm suddenly fascinated by my hand. You know how you see chimpanzee hands and see them as different than your own? It was the exact same feeling applied to my own hand, as if I was seeing it for the first time. I realize how much we accomplish with this simple tool. The lines of my hand have never been sharper or more vibrant.
I fix my lighter, and take the last of the dose - a very small hit, meaning I almost cleared it the first time anyway. I curl up on my side and think. Why is my current best friend never a part of my visions? Why is A. way overrepresented? I realize that I haven't been emotionally intimate with anyone for many years, and my current best friend doesn't truly know me because I shut him out. I love A. more for this reason, because he knows and understands me better, despite us being less good of friends than in the past. It's an issue I'd forgotten to address and will begin to make strides in improving. Nonetheless, I'm excited, because smoked DMT had yet to be entheogenic to me until this point!
After failing to sleep, I watched some TV and went to bed. I woke up today with some slight harmala aftereffects (a bit gassy, stomach was a bit noisy) but I ate and pooped and now feel great
.Thank you, DMT!
