Eternal love to all who read this (and those who don't). javascript:insertsmiley(':lol:%20','/forum/images/emoticons/icon_lol.gif')
I am open. The journey i am on has taken some turns and twists. Everything has flipped around and switched more then once, life hasn't always been a gift to me, and death hasn't always been something i could accept... The world is changing from the ideals implanted inside me as a kid... Every single thing i once believed was true i have learned to question and relearn for myself; I was raised as a christian, very strictly i might add, as i was made to go to church every sunday and pray at home. when i "misbehaved", there was punishments, some of them church related, others were physical abuse, others were taking away the toys and things that would keep my mind occupied with a busy schedule of imagination. At the time i also went to a private school called Waldorf, for those of you who are familiar with this method of teaching it is a very nature oriented beautiful place which i believe promotes lots of creativity and free thinking. Seems like the church thing was probably counter-productive to the whole free thinking aspect of my learning place... However i was raised without a television and this definitely was on the waldorf side and probably saved me from a lot of mentalities i couldve fallen victim to. My father was always strictly enforcing things he wanted me to do and how he wanted me to be, my mother was always very open and accepting of who i was and who i wanted to be... They got divorced when i was seven i guess because of those same differences and they had joint custody of me so there was a lot of back and forth stuff and dealing with two completely opposite people, now with each other to worry about in me. Needless to say, it was very confusing for awhile.
Between 7th and 8th grade i moved up to northern new jersey and left waldorf for good, to go to the local public school at my new home and live out closer to nature (we lived in long island up until then) This complete shift in realities i think actually took a toll on me in many different ways... Going into public school i was confused by the cliques and the way people behaved, everyone made fun of me for not having television, and not knowing any of the things they were talking about when they would go on hour long rants about their favorite tv shows and the latest news etc. struggling with all these views i didnt have many places to turn to besides what i thought was music at the time and the few friends i had... I had something inside me which i knew needed to get out somehow, i never knew how but i knew it needed to be expressed... As time went on and i went into highschool i experimented with weed and alcohol. My dad was always a very serious alcoholic which led to his anger problems and the physical abuse continued actually until i was a junior in highschool that was the last time he ever hit me. The point of that is that as i started experimenting with alcohol mainly i grew angry and i became more addicted to it, it became a routine as opposed to a happy occasion and i started to slip from the possibility of clarity... Around sophomore year i started painting... This became my conduit, i knew from the first real painting i did that i was meant to continue creating for eternity... i started writing my own songs and straying away from popular genres of music where creativity is destroyed... I still drank and maintained that lifestyle, i had a "girlfriend" then who had been drinking since seventh grade so "naturally" that was all we did but somehow even through that unhealthy relationship and lifestyle i still managed to create when i could...
Eventually bad things started to happen to me, life started changing dramatically, my relationship ended, others began, they were fleeting and frequent and each more meaningless then the last...I started to have visions when i drank that i was meant for something so much greater and i would yell and profess this feeling inside me through aggression and ways that were wrong. i pushed the people who truly loved me away and attracted the people who would sooner kill them selves then care about my well being. Somehow i was saved and i found my voice again through freestyling music, making it up as i went a long by using my intuition, i did the same thing with painting and began finally unwinding this tightly knit web around my head from all these complications... i started meeting beautiful people who showed me secrets of the world that i started following the trails of and through that i found the strength to stop drinking... i created more then ever and won a huge scholarship to go to baltimore (MICA) roughly 3/4s of the entire tuition wouldve been payed for... when i finally stopped drinking completely it was because of my cousin Danny, who had always been someone i could transcend from a harsh reality with... probably one of the only people in my family (on my dads side) who i could relate to in any way... We went on a hike and afterwards shaved my head and my energy evolved, i became happier then ever before...
Danny never let on to me that he was in a bad place in his life because he wanted to be strong for me and help me but the truth was he was struggling and i never saw it... towards the end of my senior year in highschool he commited suicide and i was completely devastated... I drank again and i ruined everything in school by causing lots of trouble and eventually dropping everything and going to staten island to stay with my other cousin ryan who was just like me at the time... I learned about quantum mechanics and i kept painting however and eventually i recovered from the drinking again. Now between all this i had experimented with mushrooms three times, each time i felt like i went insane and i was paranoid but there was still a beautiful energy when i was not confused... It wasnt until april second of the year after danny passed on (last april) that i tried them again and that day changed every thing for me. I was connected... Finally truly connected, i felt danny inside me and all around me and i knew that he was really still around me balancing everything out, the people who i went on this journey with became so close that day, it was as if we had been on the journey for eternity... we went down the paths of life and death and found beauty in all and then we discovered it; The brink... The True mentality of transcending all others, the key to all doors in all minds, the way to connect every single person by breaking down their walls of ice and showing them the light we all share.
From that day there has only been evolution and since then this concept has grown into a full on perception that is ever growing and expanding just like the universe... it came to us then that we had to find some sort of way to bring this to life in more worlds then just our imaginations, so we decided upon making shirts for people with positive energy and love all over them... These shirts evolved into shirts of consciousness and we went from hand painting each one to now screen printing hundreds at a time... I am now on my true pathway of evolution, i am not afraid anymore... i am not angry anymore... my emotions are the emotions of the world, every single person has a part in the art i have been creating because i can feel everyone now... I am open wide... A conduit for the universe to transmit its soul message to all of its children... Love love love... and the entire spectrum of all feelings and thoughts balanced in soul. i still have shards of the broken mirror that was once my life what seems like a billion years ago, yet i am open to all possibilities and also generating my own outcomes in life through my positive life force... My question to those who read this is; Is this portal a way to further break these shards into the dust of imaginal cells so i can truly leave that old life behind and emerge from this cocoon? i am not afraid, i feel the living earth on my bare feet and i am ready to become an asset to this convergence and evolution... a true asset... my essence... The brink will transcend all between us... I love you all. Whoever has read this far i appreciate it beyond this world... i hope this is helpful to all who read it and hope there is clarity in my words for all to understand and transcend... we can all be on the same level... javascript:insertsmiley(':d%20','/forum/images/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif')
love, peace...sincerity
chris.
I am open. The journey i am on has taken some turns and twists. Everything has flipped around and switched more then once, life hasn't always been a gift to me, and death hasn't always been something i could accept... The world is changing from the ideals implanted inside me as a kid... Every single thing i once believed was true i have learned to question and relearn for myself; I was raised as a christian, very strictly i might add, as i was made to go to church every sunday and pray at home. when i "misbehaved", there was punishments, some of them church related, others were physical abuse, others were taking away the toys and things that would keep my mind occupied with a busy schedule of imagination. At the time i also went to a private school called Waldorf, for those of you who are familiar with this method of teaching it is a very nature oriented beautiful place which i believe promotes lots of creativity and free thinking. Seems like the church thing was probably counter-productive to the whole free thinking aspect of my learning place... However i was raised without a television and this definitely was on the waldorf side and probably saved me from a lot of mentalities i couldve fallen victim to. My father was always strictly enforcing things he wanted me to do and how he wanted me to be, my mother was always very open and accepting of who i was and who i wanted to be... They got divorced when i was seven i guess because of those same differences and they had joint custody of me so there was a lot of back and forth stuff and dealing with two completely opposite people, now with each other to worry about in me. Needless to say, it was very confusing for awhile.
Between 7th and 8th grade i moved up to northern new jersey and left waldorf for good, to go to the local public school at my new home and live out closer to nature (we lived in long island up until then) This complete shift in realities i think actually took a toll on me in many different ways... Going into public school i was confused by the cliques and the way people behaved, everyone made fun of me for not having television, and not knowing any of the things they were talking about when they would go on hour long rants about their favorite tv shows and the latest news etc. struggling with all these views i didnt have many places to turn to besides what i thought was music at the time and the few friends i had... I had something inside me which i knew needed to get out somehow, i never knew how but i knew it needed to be expressed... As time went on and i went into highschool i experimented with weed and alcohol. My dad was always a very serious alcoholic which led to his anger problems and the physical abuse continued actually until i was a junior in highschool that was the last time he ever hit me. The point of that is that as i started experimenting with alcohol mainly i grew angry and i became more addicted to it, it became a routine as opposed to a happy occasion and i started to slip from the possibility of clarity... Around sophomore year i started painting... This became my conduit, i knew from the first real painting i did that i was meant to continue creating for eternity... i started writing my own songs and straying away from popular genres of music where creativity is destroyed... I still drank and maintained that lifestyle, i had a "girlfriend" then who had been drinking since seventh grade so "naturally" that was all we did but somehow even through that unhealthy relationship and lifestyle i still managed to create when i could...
Eventually bad things started to happen to me, life started changing dramatically, my relationship ended, others began, they were fleeting and frequent and each more meaningless then the last...I started to have visions when i drank that i was meant for something so much greater and i would yell and profess this feeling inside me through aggression and ways that were wrong. i pushed the people who truly loved me away and attracted the people who would sooner kill them selves then care about my well being. Somehow i was saved and i found my voice again through freestyling music, making it up as i went a long by using my intuition, i did the same thing with painting and began finally unwinding this tightly knit web around my head from all these complications... i started meeting beautiful people who showed me secrets of the world that i started following the trails of and through that i found the strength to stop drinking... i created more then ever and won a huge scholarship to go to baltimore (MICA) roughly 3/4s of the entire tuition wouldve been payed for... when i finally stopped drinking completely it was because of my cousin Danny, who had always been someone i could transcend from a harsh reality with... probably one of the only people in my family (on my dads side) who i could relate to in any way... We went on a hike and afterwards shaved my head and my energy evolved, i became happier then ever before...
Danny never let on to me that he was in a bad place in his life because he wanted to be strong for me and help me but the truth was he was struggling and i never saw it... towards the end of my senior year in highschool he commited suicide and i was completely devastated... I drank again and i ruined everything in school by causing lots of trouble and eventually dropping everything and going to staten island to stay with my other cousin ryan who was just like me at the time... I learned about quantum mechanics and i kept painting however and eventually i recovered from the drinking again. Now between all this i had experimented with mushrooms three times, each time i felt like i went insane and i was paranoid but there was still a beautiful energy when i was not confused... It wasnt until april second of the year after danny passed on (last april) that i tried them again and that day changed every thing for me. I was connected... Finally truly connected, i felt danny inside me and all around me and i knew that he was really still around me balancing everything out, the people who i went on this journey with became so close that day, it was as if we had been on the journey for eternity... we went down the paths of life and death and found beauty in all and then we discovered it; The brink... The True mentality of transcending all others, the key to all doors in all minds, the way to connect every single person by breaking down their walls of ice and showing them the light we all share.
From that day there has only been evolution and since then this concept has grown into a full on perception that is ever growing and expanding just like the universe... it came to us then that we had to find some sort of way to bring this to life in more worlds then just our imaginations, so we decided upon making shirts for people with positive energy and love all over them... These shirts evolved into shirts of consciousness and we went from hand painting each one to now screen printing hundreds at a time... I am now on my true pathway of evolution, i am not afraid anymore... i am not angry anymore... my emotions are the emotions of the world, every single person has a part in the art i have been creating because i can feel everyone now... I am open wide... A conduit for the universe to transmit its soul message to all of its children... Love love love... and the entire spectrum of all feelings and thoughts balanced in soul. i still have shards of the broken mirror that was once my life what seems like a billion years ago, yet i am open to all possibilities and also generating my own outcomes in life through my positive life force... My question to those who read this is; Is this portal a way to further break these shards into the dust of imaginal cells so i can truly leave that old life behind and emerge from this cocoon? i am not afraid, i feel the living earth on my bare feet and i am ready to become an asset to this convergence and evolution... a true asset... my essence... The brink will transcend all between us... I love you all. Whoever has read this far i appreciate it beyond this world... i hope this is helpful to all who read it and hope there is clarity in my words for all to understand and transcend... we can all be on the same level... javascript:insertsmiley(':d%20','/forum/images/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif')
love, peace...sincerity
chris.
