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Building up confidence to journey again - New machine.

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ZenSpice

ZenSpice

Mostly Ignored
Sat here building up the confidence to take another journey. I got enough DMT to last me a good year, easily, yet after a mere 5 sessions I find myself at this precipice.

I know it's nothing new as I have read similar on here, I just find myself surprised at the paradoxical nature of desperately wishing to continue this, yet feeling like I am awaiting some kind of internal buzzer to sound off and let me know I am ready.

Feels like the buzzer is close to sounding, so much so I can taste it. I have a new machine built, loaded and ready to fire. I thought I might post it to see what people think.

Hopefully when I get my cosmic balls back I will have something more to say.
 

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ZenSpice said:
Sat here building up the confidence to take another journey. . . .
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This is a pretty universal feeling with DMT. I always have to build up to it, always put it off a little bit, but then after the first hit it is always the same reaction: "What was I so nervous about? This is AMAZING!"
 
Yeah I felt a need to build up/center myself each time, along with some apprehension.

Recently however, well, its been WEEKS lol..

I know that's nothing in the scheme of things and I got my device loaded and ready for take off, so I am hoping this will be rectified over the weekend.

Some daft part of me I guess figures that by posting here it will spur something. I say daft as I know better than to try and control the flow of things. 😉

Thanks for the gee-up :thumb_up:
 
If it feels right, go for it. I like your machine by the way. It looks very neat!

When I was doing dmt more regularly and I'd get the pre-flight anxiety I'd always half-jokingly tell myself that I was doing it for the evolution of the universe/consciousness. That usually gave me the last bit of determination needed.

cheers
 
Well I bit the bullet and blasted off twice last night.. An unexpected friend turning up and actually wanting to participate kind of gave me a synchronistic kick in the rear (I had previously chatted with this friend and felt he had the right mindset, initially being put off of the idea, as I try to do, until he researched a bit himself to see what it's all about).

We both basically visited the 'infinite wall of fractal patterns' and were given very nice displays therein, doses were 40mg for me and 20mg for my friend. My friend says he "felt these black hands trying to pull him through the wall but by the time they had enough of a grip he was already back here". I simply felt that sweeping positive energy.

We both got plenty of audible tones.

I am going to try 60mg tonight and if that does not facilitate getting through said wall then I will up it to 80mg. Anything beyond that and I reckon I should be questioning either my technique or the purity of my extraction (mhrb-stb).
 
Oh yeah and thanks for the kind words about my machine enoon.. It's a bit ghetto but I like it >_<

And I think your right 112233. A classic example of the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I have been a tad down of late, mainly after being sick. I think maybe I've been putting off subconsciously as I feel being in good health is a must when seeking to undertake any kind of decent 'journey'
 
I've never vaporised DMT but from my experience with Ayahuasca I can understand the apprehension! I've heard vaporising is a much more intense experience, can anybody who's done both offer any comparison?
 
It's hard to say which is more intense, really. vaporized DMT is like free-fall, instant launching into outer-space. It's way more confusing than the longer lasting entheogens.

Oral DMT at good doses have left me biting into my blanket and screaming into it to muffle the sounds, wanting to explode out of joy or due the epiphany I was experiencing. It#s really hard to say which is more intense.

What's clearly more intense is the come-up with vaporized DMT. It's so fast it scares me. With oral you sort of wade into it. With vaporized you just suddenly find yourself in it without even remembering how you got there.

@ZenSpice, with the GVGs a lot of users swear by warming the whole pipe up a bit before using it - this reduces the condensation of dmt vapor on the glass. Perhaps you can try this with your machine as well. vaporizing 40mg and not breaking through just seems strange to me. For me 30-33mg do the trick if I manage to inhale them all in one go.
 
Enoon said:
When I was doing dmt more regularly and I'd get the pre-flight anxiety I'd always half-jokingly tell myself that I was doing it for the evolution of the universe/consciousness. That usually gave me the last bit of determination needed.
cheers
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I find this thought very helpful. Thank you.
 
Pimp D said:
Enoon said:
When I was doing dmt more regularly and I'd get the pre-flight anxiety I'd always half-jokingly tell myself that I was doing it for the evolution of the universe/consciousness. That usually gave me the last bit of determination needed.
cheers
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I find this thought very helpful. Thank you.
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I agree also that having a placed positive intent prior to taking the plunge is vital.. I always do this myself (usually request/ask for a positive lesson or healing) and at the very point of sharing with another I always ask what they want from it and to plant that in their mind as a forethought.

Even the most apprehensive person soon drops back into the chair and starts to smile massively about 10 seconds after closing their eyes (followed almost always by a "WOW.. WOOOOOAH").

I have shared with a few people now and one thing I had always noticed (and do myself) is that upon getting that real good hit EVERYONE pauses for a moment, looks at their forearms, then kind of go boggle eyed.. about half of them then go back for a 2nd/3rd hit hehehe.
 
Enoon said:
@ZenSpice, with the GVGs a lot of users swear by warming the whole pipe up a bit before using it - this reduces the condensation of dmt vapor on the glass. Perhaps you can try this with your machine as well. vaporizing 40mg and not breaking through just seems strange to me. For me 30-33mg do the trick if I manage to inhale them all in one go.
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I may try this if I have no success with the currently loaded 60mg dose. I am wondering if part of the problem is the method in which I pre-melt the FB into the steelmesh. I try to be as gentle as possible and never see any smoke. Same when lighting up, I avoid a direct flame and just heat the area around/underneath the neck prior to taking a couple of small, then larger pulls (once the chamber gets that flash fill of thick smoke).

If anything off with my technique please do raise mention. I have read on here and feel I am getting it as right as I have it in my head 😉

I did read that paradoxically a torch lighter can be better than a standard flame one (keeping distance using proper technique). I think it may have been endlessness that raised this in a thread. Might be a near future purchase :thumb_up:
 
I took the magic dose at 23:23.. So I was likely crying with joy as you wrote your last comment 112233 >_<

I hope I can find a way to put into words what I saw/experienced in the coming days because right now I.. well.. LOL you could well know what I am feeling right now :shock: :thumb_up:
 
ZenSpice said:
I hope I can find a way to put into words what I saw/experienced in the coming days because right now I.. well.. LOL you could well know what I am feeling right now :shock: :thumb_up:
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Way to go, ZenSpice! And don't worry if the memories fade, in time you'll learn to retain more and more of them. Keeping a trip journal or posting your experience when it is still fresh will help, much like writing down a dream right when you wake up. And, as with dreams, just write down first impressions, key words; this will hopefully help you retain more of the magic.
 
Consider that as advice very well taken.. I am going to be exploring this more for sure and am pondering the thought of recording my thoughts after coming back to make it easier to recollect..

Already so much has faded but a few things have really stuck.. One mad random thing was seeing me with a guy in a tropical setting, the guy was doing something that was for the two of us (making fire or preparing food) and I "knew" somehow that 1, this was a memory of some past event, and 2, the guy was ENOON (seriously, like I wanted to shout that name and say WHO ARE YOU CAUSE I KNOW YOU FROM SOMETIME AND PLACE)..

When I came back I let off a rant in the chat because I felt the need to express that I had somehow bonded with enoon or knew him in a past life or SOMETHING equally out there yet somehow perfectly normal..

LOL welcome to the real world eh :shock: 😁 8)
 
ZenSpice said:
One mad random thing was seeing me with a guy in a tropical setting, the guy was doing something that was for the two of us (making fire or preparing food) and I "knew" somehow that 1, this was a memory of some past event, and 2, the guy was ENOON (seriously, like I wanted to shout that name and say WHO ARE YOU CAUSE I KNOW YOU FROM SOMETIME AND PLACE)..
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Rest assured your Vision was Faithful and True. I have probed the depths last night into this morning with an incredibly powerful pharma/changa Awakening. I won't get into all the details just yet, but here are the pertinent parts for you:

Enoon granted me full membership last night, April 13 (13 is the number of Transformation), and, ZenSpice, you met Enoon inter-dimensionally yesterday, and you wrote about it, the report being you 22 post. I am Master Number 22 numerically, hence the numbers in my name.

Oh, there is more, I assure you, but there are certain Time Locks in place. All will be revealed in time, with all of us working together, as we are all connected . . .

And for what it's worth, I gave you a vote for full membership.
 
Wow I feel sincerely honored. 😁

Sounds like you had a real mother of experiences last night, I am intending for mine to have been the first step of many and any guidance from the people here will be most gratefully received. I very much got the feeling I was being shown "but a slice of infinity" and that in itself it was to show how little our monkey minds know (like MAJOR ego check time).

I know a little about numerology (nothing too deep, purely layman level and have I would wager I have much to learn from people like yourself). I feel that I should mention that I have had that 11:11 1111 and 111 thing going on in my life for nigh on 15 years. Am not sure if this will play any importance but it has definitely been a prevalent and rascally enigma in my life.

The Enoon thing was a real head spinner, I had a similar nano moment concerning one other person I know yet have never met in the physical world. It's strange that of all the places I have lived and people I have met the two that beamed right through like a laser into the middle of that madness was who it was.. MIND=BLOWN :thumb_up:

Much love and respect to all you guys and girls on here.
 

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whitechapel47 said:
great expierences/advice all of you:thumb_up: makes me so much more excited to blast off myself8)
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I wish you all the best from the depths of my heart.

With proper technique, intent, set and setting it was more astounding than I ever attempted to imagine. :)
 
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