Feels like I'm still coming down...
Was a long and hard day, but that doesn't mean it wasn't good.
Have been feeling a great deal more balanced since drinking rue tea regularly and have been going for more sub-breakthroughs on DMT
I went for one (sub-breakthrough) today.
Over the past month or so I have been purging every single time I disembark. I am aware of the afflictions and such I am working through. But wonder how much of my purging is related to my GERD. There's evidence that anxiety (in this case, preflight jitters) can influence acid reflux.
I packed my changa pipe with an amount that I planned to finish. After the first two tokes, I could feel the need to purge come on strong. I had been four hours fasted. So there was nothing to come up.
My intent: Reinforce a sense of balance I have been experiencing and practice the experience.
I spent the main chunk of the experience dry heaving and belching as the need to purge persisted, but there was nothing to come up. I could feel a mind (actaully it definitely felt like more than one) encouraging me, "It's okay, just get it out." It was a very loving feeling, and felt foreign, as in, not endemic to my mind. And it felt like I was symbolically releasing negative energies and baggage.
While I may not want to purge necessarily, I still found that part of my experience glorious.
Once I began feeling some relief, the purge feeling still lingered, and something told me to breathe "over and through it." At that time, I found myself surrendering more to it.
Once the song (Divine Moments of Truth) ended and was about to begin again, I paused it, choosing to lay sideways in a v-shape on my bed in silence. There was direct telepathic communication. I apologized because I had planned on being more immersed in hyperspace and any entities that wanted to interact with me, but was largely distracted by purging. I felt loved and welcome. I stated, "thank you," and "I love you." From then on there was subtle discourse, with me vocally interacting with them. At one point I had been "being hard on myself" and felt a forceful "STOP." To which I replied with a little bit of an attitude, "Okay, I'm sorry!"
While laying in the silence, an idea came to mind to play a song I recently found and love (Komit-3 of Life Remix- Juno Reactor). So I turned it on! I began jamming on my bed, just laying and jammin out. Until "something" told me to get up. I found myself raging in my room, dancing, and jumping, and swinging my locks all over the place. I was dancing, alone in my room, as if I was at some epic concert. It was amazing, and something I have never experienced before. It was joyous and invigorating. It was an integrating act. And let's be real: I wasn't really alone:roll:
I didn't finish the bowl. But that's okay.
And no, I didn't actually twerk:grin:
One love
Was a long and hard day, but that doesn't mean it wasn't good.
Have been feeling a great deal more balanced since drinking rue tea regularly and have been going for more sub-breakthroughs on DMT
I went for one (sub-breakthrough) today.
Over the past month or so I have been purging every single time I disembark. I am aware of the afflictions and such I am working through. But wonder how much of my purging is related to my GERD. There's evidence that anxiety (in this case, preflight jitters) can influence acid reflux.
I packed my changa pipe with an amount that I planned to finish. After the first two tokes, I could feel the need to purge come on strong. I had been four hours fasted. So there was nothing to come up.
My intent: Reinforce a sense of balance I have been experiencing and practice the experience.
I spent the main chunk of the experience dry heaving and belching as the need to purge persisted, but there was nothing to come up. I could feel a mind (actaully it definitely felt like more than one) encouraging me, "It's okay, just get it out." It was a very loving feeling, and felt foreign, as in, not endemic to my mind. And it felt like I was symbolically releasing negative energies and baggage.
While I may not want to purge necessarily, I still found that part of my experience glorious.
Once I began feeling some relief, the purge feeling still lingered, and something told me to breathe "over and through it." At that time, I found myself surrendering more to it.
Once the song (Divine Moments of Truth) ended and was about to begin again, I paused it, choosing to lay sideways in a v-shape on my bed in silence. There was direct telepathic communication. I apologized because I had planned on being more immersed in hyperspace and any entities that wanted to interact with me, but was largely distracted by purging. I felt loved and welcome. I stated, "thank you," and "I love you." From then on there was subtle discourse, with me vocally interacting with them. At one point I had been "being hard on myself" and felt a forceful "STOP." To which I replied with a little bit of an attitude, "Okay, I'm sorry!"
While laying in the silence, an idea came to mind to play a song I recently found and love (Komit-3 of Life Remix- Juno Reactor). So I turned it on! I began jamming on my bed, just laying and jammin out. Until "something" told me to get up. I found myself raging in my room, dancing, and jumping, and swinging my locks all over the place. I was dancing, alone in my room, as if I was at some epic concert. It was amazing, and something I have never experienced before. It was joyous and invigorating. It was an integrating act. And let's be real: I wasn't really alone:roll:
I didn't finish the bowl. But that's okay.
And no, I didn't actually twerk:grin:
One love
