Can't escape Aya, Badtrip?

[De_Loused]

Hi psychonauts!

It is currently 6:15 AM and I have just spent the night sharing DMT with my roomies and a bunch of friends. It started with a random call, A friend of my roommate knew some people who had tried DMT once and wanted to do it again... we don't sell the molecule, we talk about it all the time to people around and they find their way to the molecule. The 3 of them were strangers and there was already 7-8 of us at home. We started off playing music and made to the chill room to pack the bong, me and my roomie prepared 8 doses of wich 5 people took one.

I wasnt sure If I wanted to take some as I felt very sad due to a recent romantic melo-drama, add to this that the person I am bothered about was in the room at that time...
Also I had been given some kind of a task on my last trip and I wasnt sure if I had completed it, A task wich I had thought to be linked with the said beloved person before this tunnel reality was shattered... so I didnt want to risk making it all the way through hyperspace to 'idunnowhat' planet with my hands empty, or even worst, with the news of a fukup. :lol:

the sun was rising and everybody still awake was reticent to take a dose... the finger were pointed at me and I quickly exhausted my reserves of excuses to flee Aya... But I managed to diplomatically flee... so I thought. I suggested we'd roll a joint with weed and the remaining 150mg and share it amongst the 5 of us remaining. Wich we did...
As soon as I felt the 'DMT Ambience' distort the room and saw the faces of my friends turn into butter, I knew it was only a matter of seconds before she came...

She formed out of the curtain, after my second drag of space joint ( I have brokethrough with a waterbong, thought I ODd a couple of times to find out I just tripped to death), the hallucinations became so close to my eyes that I had to close them and there she was... with all her splendor and energy, this time her thousands of eyes wer looking straight at me like we knew for centuries... As her whole being stared into my soul I felt tentacules/tubes go in my head and a strong tingling went front my forehead to my feet, as if someone was touching a central nerve.
For about 5 minutes I felt like thousands of blades and nails... and it was not habitual DMT feeling, it was very painful and it was hitting spots inside of me, as if my flesh was examined slice by slice, the visuals were very unstable and it flashed and desynchronised like an old videotape. the clear white background had changed into a dark green, red and purple.

I felt extremely cold in my belly and I wanted to put my hands on it but she told me not to... while doing that she dove even deeper into my eye and repeated 'The sadness, It must go away, Wateaver the means you find, it must go away'... then buddy tapped on my shoulder for the 3rd round of the joint... I was like ''Oh shheeeaat...''
when I closed my eyes again... Aya was gone, her message had passed... but i was still hallucinating dark tribal stuff and skullheads like crazy... It was hard to manage but I took it all in.
It was a dark experience, My heart hurts and beats fast, my insides feel cold and my mouth is dry... but I feel everything is allright, she wasn't angry at me for being sad, she seemed upset that she always has to try a find way to fix sadness.

I am very peace minded and relaxed at this moment, the sun is there... I have plunged through the deepest of my feelings and still can smile back to a rising sun.

I just wanted to share this with the community.
Don't flee your weaknesses, don't flee your faults and your mistakes, don't flee your fears, don't flee your life.

-Peace and mucho mucho love

 

[olympus mon]

thanks for sharing your experience De loused,

im not a believer in bad trips per say but i understand and sometimes use that term to explain myself. often the "bad" ones are exactly what you need to have. at least that is the case for me. As in life we tend to grow more from the difficult experiences then the easy ones.

to me it sounds as if setting had a factor in your journey especially having a person there that you have a strong emotional connection and feelings for. ive smoked dmt in a group setting many times and i noticed that the group had a direct influence on how the journey felt. its why i no longer smoke dmt in a group setting other than 2 very close fellow dreamers. mostly i prefer being alone so there aren't any outside of myself factors involved.

thanks for sharing and welcome

 

[jamie]

I find it weird in groups as well..I am not sure why. Smoking both salvia or DMT with other people around is kinda iffy for me. They are so fast and I feel like im on display kinda..I like ayahuasca and mushrooms more for groups. I think I have only smoked DMT with a handful of people..most of the times it was with either minxx or shadowman and I feel comfortable smoking with them, or our one other friend that smoked with us once..I guess it is because they are all experienced with psychedelics and basically know how this stuff can go so when I am rolling around making weird sounds etc its not so weird for them.

 

[olympus mon]

thats exactly how it feel in groups, well said fract. like your on display.

 

[DMTripper]

Last time I smoked with someone in the room it was a very good friend of mine. He was going through some difficult stuff in his life and it really polluted into my trip. He'd been fighting his ex about the custody of his daughter. I felt his emotions and sadness and how lost and hopeless he was. I had no idea beforehand how bad he felt, but the dmt made me sense his feelings. And I could even feel how thoughts of despair were rushing through his mind.

This is one reason I usually like to trip alone. I feel more free.

But one thing I notice is you talked about Aya but weren't you smoking freebase?

 

[De_Loused]

But one thing I notice is you talked about Aya but weren't you smoking freebase?

Yes, she has come to me while smoking trips for about 4 months, wich is weird, but enjoyable. And during this trip not only did I smoked Freebase but it was inside a joint, still it was clearly her... I can't explain it.