so where was I, where was I... ahh yes.  Abandoned by my friends, jilted by my lover.  thankful to be sleeping my drunk friends garage listening to him fight with his wife as and kids every night.  (as before that it was months in the car.)   my cat staying with a kind enough betty, but not with me...... basically the lowest point in my life.  Then somebody I was moaning to or other said to me on a plant medicine forum.  He was once at the lowest point in his life once and somebody told him, success is measured by how far you bounce when you hit rock bottom.