Mattazoso
Rising Star
I had written these all out earlier on GLP: http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1394037/pg16 and want to put them here 
This is going to be lengthy, but I think it'll be worth it ;D
I was introduced to DMT on my 21st birthday as a "coming of age" alternative to getting plastered
I've had various experiences with it, about 10 times total.
My first time, I couldn't help but face the light source in the room, as I explained myself to my friends in the room, I couldn't help but scream the word "light," even as I tried carefully to whisper the word, the whisper would ramp up into a scream as soon as I got to that word.
With my eyes closed I could see an egg shaped room with layers of webbing which denoted the distance from myself to the far side of the egg shaped room, vibrant purples, minty blues, transitioning into light-green, red, yellow, then white, where the light source in the room presided.
The lines have a way of slowly rotating to create a sensation of constant slow motion.
I opened my eyes and the room sort of "loaded" quickly, first the basic shapes of everything, the walls the floor, then the texture blossomed-out on top of the surfaces, and all the small objects sort of snapped into place on top of everything else.
There were 2 large feminine faces in the ceiling, surround by cloudy "puffiness" smiling down at me, I could see through the wall and make out the staircase on the other side, the circuit-boards on electronics appeared as dark blue reflection inside of their plastic casings.
I looked at my friend and I could see his skull in his head, his muscle tissue through his body, and a flickering liquid rainbow layer which ran along the muscle tissues, I was able to stand-up and look closely as him, the detail and activity went endlessly deep.
I immediately felt a strong sensation of "something very important has been deliberately kept from us." By some means, these visual abilities had become dormant inside of us. This had become a driving force of research and exploration into the human condition and circumstance, and I had discovered a powerful tool for such research...
I'll only describe the most vivid and impacting parts of my experiences, rather than go through all of them...
The room became a yellow-sh green version of itself, the walls spread-out as my apartment became larger, I suddenly felt as though my couch as my throne and my little apartment was a royal castle
There was a transparent rigged-tube that became suddenly visible, coming out of the floor and rising into my ceiling. The carpet had become a wet surface of flowing snake shaped textures, flowing in minute detail around eachother, the carpet appeared as though it had multiple stacked layers, though I knew it was truly a flat surface.
My chinchilla ran in his wheel, and this produced an echo effect from his wheel, causing all the moving textures and the room itself to warp in a spiral shape centered around his wheel, this became too much to look at 8-O so I had turned away to look at something less detailed.
I had turned to my fiance sitting next to me, she was made out of small crawling pyramids which made-up the surface of her skin, suddenly there were tree patterns which layered on top of real life and she appeared like a giant stone temple sitting in the middle of a jungle, her mouth was the opening, and her eyes were disks which reflected the sun.
This also was too much to look at so I turned to something less detailed, my white wall, which then suddenly began echoing into another white wall behind the first one, then another, and another, another, another, it seemed to go on forever! D8
And there was a tall figure in a white robe which stepped along the furthest wall I could make out, the figure made some sort of hand gesture and suddenly a lion came running towards me, through all the walls.
The lion appeared like animated cartoon, in a mixed aesthetic of Mayan, Asian and Indian style art. He ran up to my face, his bright orange mane filled-up the entire wall, he became about 12 feet tall, squeezing-in to fit on my wall, suddenly I could feel a thought coming from him relaying through my own thoughts, a powerful "Where have you been!!!" went through my head.
I was jaw-dropped tears streaming down my face, I was incapable of responding. He crouched down into a playful stance.
Suddenly I am "backing-up" away from my eyes, as though looking through your eyes were the front of a stage, and you move backwards to behind the stage, my living room became the small opening at the end of a dark tunnel.
To my right was the lion swaying his tail on a red oval sitting surface which just seemed to float there, above him was a rectangular opening which looked-out to a vibrant starry sky. The same sitting oval was also to my left, with another opening showing the outside sky.
Some how I could see behind my, as well as in front and my sides, and behind me were two human figures in blue jumpsuits, sort of standing there cautiously.
Everything then "wrapped-up" into the shape of a cube with rounded edges, with holes in the center of each side, an orange ball came out of the side hole and went into the top hole, then the cube "unwrapped" into my living room, as though I was looking through layers of transparent gelatin.
I suddenly felt how much more dull feeling this reality was in comparison to the one I just came from, and I was almost convinced that this reality was infact the "fake illusion" and the one I just came from, was the "real reality for grown-up spirits".
It does feel that way, but imo they are different realities with different feelings, one is not more or less fake than the other...
Once I had a conversation with a flame.
It was basically:
Me: "Why do you burn?"
Flame: "Because life in all aspects is at its most brilliant while burning, all is in a state of constant burning, the greatest intensity seen as fire."
Me: What do you mean everything is always burning?
F: Matter is various types of flames in motion, there is not only one type of fire.
Then the image of the sun appeared, and the light-side of the earth appeared as a fluctuating oily mirage of all colors.
Me: What if one does not want to burn?
And the flame was silent, a subtle feeling in the silence was: "Too bad, I'm going to be myself and do what I do, desire has nothing to do with my right to burn."
I was at my black coffee table, and in the reflection of the table appeared faces.
At the left side of the table felt of materialist presences, "dark lords" and in the middle of the table was an ogre/mammal animal of some sort, and on the right side of the table was the glowing outline of a calm smiling.
The left side of the table accused me:
"You are a problem! We were going to put you in jail only to realize this would motivate you further than if we left you alone to your own devices! You are not in accordance with the way of this world! You disrespect the order of this world by your goodness and actions to move beyond it! Such gunk in our gears are you!"
The right side of the table remained silent and smiling.
I said: "What am I doing that's so wrong?"
And the left side of the table became very angry and frustrated, and left.
I asked: "What should I do?"
And the right side of the table responded: "Just keep doing what you're doing."
Once I had found myself in a pearly marbleized hallway, of such grand architecture, designed with no top or bottom, a truly multi-dimensional place where each surface could serve as a relative floor or ceiling, giant roman appearing archways, but grander, curling tower spires such as seen in Russia, but churning and curling, unrecognizable text flowing along the white walls like a light projection in mist, no shades of gray or dark, simply various intensities of blinding light.
I was so amazed and captivated I wondered: "Could this even get bad, is bad even possible to exist!?
In real-time as I thought this, an opening appeared to my left, of florescent green and purple, the shapes and density felt and looked like a jungle, but much more alien, I could hear this rattling pulse coming from that opening that reminded me of cicadas.
From that opening came the thought: "Oh yes! It can get bad!"
And then from the white place came the thought: "But you don't have to allow for it."
And I just focused on goodness like: "Absolutely! No thank you! I'm fine after-all."
And the dark jungle shrunk and closed-off.
And then, I had my two worst experiences, which were then followed by my two most recent experiences.
In short, I didn't do my usual preparation, meditation, statements of intent and to engage only with that which matches the connotations of Christ-Likeness minus all the nastiness of modern Christianity.
I didn't do any of that and I just went for it.
Suddenly the room began transforming, and an anxiety crawled all over me and started to shake me in jittery neverousness, "What am I doing!? Going into other dimensions uninvited, disrespecting my place in this reality."
I decided to just go with it, whatever it be.
I close my eyes and I surrounded by flames. Or at least, what appear to be flames, they were yellow and red lines on the walls, which were vibrating on top of one another, creating the appearance exactly like flickering flames.
The flickering matched my shaking nervousness exactly.
On the wall was a humanoid figure, made out of the flames, without features, his legs were crossed and flowed into thick roots, which spread out to into the floor.
His arms were stretched out in the crucifix position, holding up the burning ceiling.
And his head was hanging down, he lifted it to look towards me, then his neck collapsed and his head went back down.
I thought: "If someone died in anxiety, and this is what they first saw, they would assume, 'Oh shit, I'm in hell' and if they didn't have a way to think otherwise, this anxiety could conceivably continue forever."
I sort of floated according to my focus, so I focused around the corned, where I found a little pit among the flames, I went down in there and tried to calm myself.
In real-time, as I thought to calm down, the flames slowed-down, the flickering stopped, and the bright yellows and reds transitioned into a deep calming blue.
This relieved me to the extent that I felt that if I was in this position again, I had the capacity to calm myself down and return to calmness...
The other bad experience, was with a being which appeared like an alien gray, with smooth teal skin.
He approached me like those spirits from the left side of my table, he felt horrible, never have I felt such nastiness:
"Why are you being good on earth, that's not what this place is for, you're such a problem, all you're going to achieve is sitting around all day admiring beauty with your other self-righteous goody goodies."
Me: "What do you mean that this is not what the earth is for?"
He sort of snickered: "Where do you think you are? You're in Satan's playground! Forget the crystal cities, you're here now, ad you better start acting like it!"
Me: "You mean this is hell?"
ET: "This is far from hell! Hell is sitting around admiring beauty all day (He shows me an image of thrones surrounding a sun, humanoids in thrones smile and create patterns in the sun's surface) Actually, hell is my job, keeping all of this in order the way it is..."
So I got up and literally attempted to run away from this being, but he had already latched into me.
ET: "You fucking stupid humans, destroying your earth, how easy to bring out your short-comings, the toilet is the perfect throne to you pathetic humans, you shit your waste away so someone else can deal with it, and you cut-down trees to wipe your ass, then flush it away wasting precious water, pathetic. You make a perfect critique of your self-rightous spirit parents, revealing how conditional your goodness and love really is, so pathetic. Fucking your world each and every day without even second guessing."
Me: "Leave me! You're not in my best interest, get away from me now!"
This just pissed him off, and he did this sort of analyze scan to me.
ET: "Who is your Master?"
Me: "No one is my Master."
ET (angryly): "Who is your Master!? Who is your Master!? Who is your Master!? Who is your Master!?" Like he got stuck in a frustrated loop, I could tell he had a master.
He continued screaming this at me, while then forcibly pinning me down, then began to rape me, I could feel the energy drain from my body.
I struggled to get away from him, but there was no getting away. Suddenly he transformed into a Roman Soldier, and suddenly I was in a white robe, and suddenly we were on the top of a pyramid in the middle of a jungle.
He ripped out my right-eye, I think it was my right eye, and he proceeded to skull-fuck me, further draining my body and spirit.
He threw me down the pyramid's steps when he was done with me, and my body fell apart into pieces, the body parts left trails of blood as they bounced down the pyramid, they then started spinning rapidly and snapping back together, I watched a large rib cage form, organs bubbled into existence, then muscle tissue grew suddenly. I was stood up at the bottom of the pyramid and I was a horse.
There was a golden appearing Egyptian man with his hand at my side, he thought to me: "Now be free."
And he hit my hind side and I went running into the jungle crying.
Now for my two most recent experiences, which were wonderful, I will combine them into a single experience, as they were incredibly similar, I feel that the same beings had engaged with me each time, as the patterns and feelings from these beings was similar and spoke of similar matters very specifically.
At first I was in a vibrant magenta room, and a giant hand went up my back, it felt very maternal and feminine.
The hand moved with my back as to instruct me which posture I should take.
When I had aligned myself properly the room began to spin away from me, and I felt the sensation of weightlessness.
Suddenly a blue pattern grew into the magenta, and it had become mixed with these colors.
A magenta female humanoid appeared and embraced a light-blue male humanoid, they were featureless, made-up of the same rounded patterns as seen on the wall.
They held eachother at the hip and looked into each others' faces, standing tall, it felt as though they could stay like that for eternity.
They then began speaking to me:
"Thank you so much for your being, your world is in dire need of such empathetic being. This argument of way of being has been going on for a long time, far too long to even know in your current state.
The argument has reached compromises and developments times innumerable, the peak of which is depicted in your world. There is no right or wrong way, simply varieties of being, some of which nurture and others which destroy.
There has been a great attempt to integrate multiple ways of being into a single way, but this results in death and decay, for it is unstable, as these two ways of nurturing and of destruction cause eachother to decay.
The experience of your world acts as a filter, to expose the true way of being of any fractured piece of consciousness, as they reveal their true self in ignorance, allow for all possible spectrum of being at the same time.
When one engages with what is termed "evil" they are creating a connection with that isolated spectrum, and enacting that connection resulting in the physical gesture, the same goes for actions termed "love" and "empathy", creating a path from outside your reality, and enacting this connection through actions, thoughts, creations and subtitles such as the the focus of attention and particularities in how one communicates with words.
This is a compromise of both forces, according to the standards of both that which is termed "darkness" and of "light" so that the true way of being may be known in each spirit, according to their own self, by their own choice, not the judgment of another.
There has been great attempts to pirate this process, many hurdles of confusion, the majority religions and majority image of "God" have been subverted by dark forces, to create a slanted outcome which results in fewer spirits enacting true full purification.
This is an act of desperateness, as your universe is the only space in which the darkness may substantiate itself, so these forces have gone to great lengths as to not allow a single spirit to leave your universe.
The light does as much as it can without supply the dark with too much purity to be reversed and used against the light. The light obeys the circumstance fully, as to do otherwise would be against that way of being. Where as the dark may corrupt, reverse and divert, as this is part of their way of being.
You are living the argument in action, in every moment of every day, seen and experienced by both the light and dark forces by use of each eye, the left eye leading to those viewers of darkness, and the right eye leading to those viewers of the light.
This process has come a long way, and there comes a time for each planetary cycle to reach it's conclusions, to make the filtering of each spirit known by their own actions and choices, the results of your world have been and will continue to be applied throughout your universe, by both forces of light and of darkness.
Be careful of your lust my son, as you have achieved so much, that it would be unfortunate for small minor details to keep you away from that which you are growing towards. Be careful of over-positivity, as this is used to sheen over that which is unfortunate and the true issues go ignored.
Of course, you are free to do as you please entirely according to your own way of being, and of course you are forgiven for that which you truly transform into goodness from incompleteness, all is considered and accounted for entirely. There is no passed judgment on any, there is no resentment nor blame towards any, as all is bound to the whole, and all is as it is."
Then I left and came back here, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else
What I've personally gained and feel, is that this life experience is like a pre-requisite, to make a spirit compatible with all spectrum's of being.
Through direct individual experience, we learn of love and of destruction, we are not spoon fed, but we learn through direct experience and engagement.
This makes the empathy and understanding ACTUAL as opposed to being simply told this or that according to anothers' perspective.
Once we conclude our experience here, we are equipped with individual empathy and knowing which makes us compatible with a great deal of realities and of a great variety of beings.
Essentially turning us into beings that can engage with all ways of beings, and bring our own self and our own individual way to the circumstance.
On the surface it seems horrendous and like a cosmic practical joke on us, but really this is a sophisticated process that allows us to grow on our own, and to KNOW WHY not to do this or that next time maybe, through direct experience.
My personal goal is to become Christ-Like, without the accessories of modern dogma, while accepting and forgiving my short-comings, growing better for the next time, to be strong in my convictions, but to be welcoming and willing to engage with ALL beings, of the darkest darks and of the lightest lights, remaining increasingly stronger in my convictions in any case, growing always, developing always, to not become stagnant, endless peace and empathy.
There is no reason to hate, blame or resent, as in ourselves is everything that has also been, including anger, desire, hatred, bigotry, passing judgment, taking advantage, all of the nastiness and all of the love and empathy.
So forgiveness and acceptance towards everyone becomes a no-brainer, for this allows for forgiveness and acceptance of ourselves as well.
Peace, love, lengthiness completed
This is going to be lengthy, but I think it'll be worth it ;DI was introduced to DMT on my 21st birthday as a "coming of age" alternative to getting plastered
I've had various experiences with it, about 10 times total.
My first time, I couldn't help but face the light source in the room, as I explained myself to my friends in the room, I couldn't help but scream the word "light," even as I tried carefully to whisper the word, the whisper would ramp up into a scream as soon as I got to that word.
With my eyes closed I could see an egg shaped room with layers of webbing which denoted the distance from myself to the far side of the egg shaped room, vibrant purples, minty blues, transitioning into light-green, red, yellow, then white, where the light source in the room presided.
The lines have a way of slowly rotating to create a sensation of constant slow motion.
I opened my eyes and the room sort of "loaded" quickly, first the basic shapes of everything, the walls the floor, then the texture blossomed-out on top of the surfaces, and all the small objects sort of snapped into place on top of everything else.
There were 2 large feminine faces in the ceiling, surround by cloudy "puffiness" smiling down at me, I could see through the wall and make out the staircase on the other side, the circuit-boards on electronics appeared as dark blue reflection inside of their plastic casings.
I looked at my friend and I could see his skull in his head, his muscle tissue through his body, and a flickering liquid rainbow layer which ran along the muscle tissues, I was able to stand-up and look closely as him, the detail and activity went endlessly deep.
I immediately felt a strong sensation of "something very important has been deliberately kept from us." By some means, these visual abilities had become dormant inside of us. This had become a driving force of research and exploration into the human condition and circumstance, and I had discovered a powerful tool for such research...
I'll only describe the most vivid and impacting parts of my experiences, rather than go through all of them...
The room became a yellow-sh green version of itself, the walls spread-out as my apartment became larger, I suddenly felt as though my couch as my throne and my little apartment was a royal castle
There was a transparent rigged-tube that became suddenly visible, coming out of the floor and rising into my ceiling. The carpet had become a wet surface of flowing snake shaped textures, flowing in minute detail around eachother, the carpet appeared as though it had multiple stacked layers, though I knew it was truly a flat surface.
My chinchilla ran in his wheel, and this produced an echo effect from his wheel, causing all the moving textures and the room itself to warp in a spiral shape centered around his wheel, this became too much to look at 8-O so I had turned away to look at something less detailed.
I had turned to my fiance sitting next to me, she was made out of small crawling pyramids which made-up the surface of her skin, suddenly there were tree patterns which layered on top of real life and she appeared like a giant stone temple sitting in the middle of a jungle, her mouth was the opening, and her eyes were disks which reflected the sun.
This also was too much to look at so I turned to something less detailed, my white wall, which then suddenly began echoing into another white wall behind the first one, then another, and another, another, another, it seemed to go on forever! D8
And there was a tall figure in a white robe which stepped along the furthest wall I could make out, the figure made some sort of hand gesture and suddenly a lion came running towards me, through all the walls.
The lion appeared like animated cartoon, in a mixed aesthetic of Mayan, Asian and Indian style art. He ran up to my face, his bright orange mane filled-up the entire wall, he became about 12 feet tall, squeezing-in to fit on my wall, suddenly I could feel a thought coming from him relaying through my own thoughts, a powerful "Where have you been!!!" went through my head.
I was jaw-dropped tears streaming down my face, I was incapable of responding. He crouched down into a playful stance.
Suddenly I am "backing-up" away from my eyes, as though looking through your eyes were the front of a stage, and you move backwards to behind the stage, my living room became the small opening at the end of a dark tunnel.
To my right was the lion swaying his tail on a red oval sitting surface which just seemed to float there, above him was a rectangular opening which looked-out to a vibrant starry sky. The same sitting oval was also to my left, with another opening showing the outside sky.
Some how I could see behind my, as well as in front and my sides, and behind me were two human figures in blue jumpsuits, sort of standing there cautiously.
Everything then "wrapped-up" into the shape of a cube with rounded edges, with holes in the center of each side, an orange ball came out of the side hole and went into the top hole, then the cube "unwrapped" into my living room, as though I was looking through layers of transparent gelatin.
I suddenly felt how much more dull feeling this reality was in comparison to the one I just came from, and I was almost convinced that this reality was infact the "fake illusion" and the one I just came from, was the "real reality for grown-up spirits".
It does feel that way, but imo they are different realities with different feelings, one is not more or less fake than the other...
Once I had a conversation with a flame.
It was basically:
Me: "Why do you burn?"
Flame: "Because life in all aspects is at its most brilliant while burning, all is in a state of constant burning, the greatest intensity seen as fire."
Me: What do you mean everything is always burning?
F: Matter is various types of flames in motion, there is not only one type of fire.
Then the image of the sun appeared, and the light-side of the earth appeared as a fluctuating oily mirage of all colors.
Me: What if one does not want to burn?
And the flame was silent, a subtle feeling in the silence was: "Too bad, I'm going to be myself and do what I do, desire has nothing to do with my right to burn."
I was at my black coffee table, and in the reflection of the table appeared faces.
At the left side of the table felt of materialist presences, "dark lords" and in the middle of the table was an ogre/mammal animal of some sort, and on the right side of the table was the glowing outline of a calm smiling.
The left side of the table accused me:
"You are a problem! We were going to put you in jail only to realize this would motivate you further than if we left you alone to your own devices! You are not in accordance with the way of this world! You disrespect the order of this world by your goodness and actions to move beyond it! Such gunk in our gears are you!"
The right side of the table remained silent and smiling.
I said: "What am I doing that's so wrong?"
And the left side of the table became very angry and frustrated, and left.
I asked: "What should I do?"
And the right side of the table responded: "Just keep doing what you're doing."
Once I had found myself in a pearly marbleized hallway, of such grand architecture, designed with no top or bottom, a truly multi-dimensional place where each surface could serve as a relative floor or ceiling, giant roman appearing archways, but grander, curling tower spires such as seen in Russia, but churning and curling, unrecognizable text flowing along the white walls like a light projection in mist, no shades of gray or dark, simply various intensities of blinding light.
I was so amazed and captivated I wondered: "Could this even get bad, is bad even possible to exist!?
In real-time as I thought this, an opening appeared to my left, of florescent green and purple, the shapes and density felt and looked like a jungle, but much more alien, I could hear this rattling pulse coming from that opening that reminded me of cicadas.
From that opening came the thought: "Oh yes! It can get bad!"
And then from the white place came the thought: "But you don't have to allow for it."
And I just focused on goodness like: "Absolutely! No thank you! I'm fine after-all."
And the dark jungle shrunk and closed-off.
And then, I had my two worst experiences, which were then followed by my two most recent experiences.
In short, I didn't do my usual preparation, meditation, statements of intent and to engage only with that which matches the connotations of Christ-Likeness minus all the nastiness of modern Christianity.
I didn't do any of that and I just went for it.
Suddenly the room began transforming, and an anxiety crawled all over me and started to shake me in jittery neverousness, "What am I doing!? Going into other dimensions uninvited, disrespecting my place in this reality."
I decided to just go with it, whatever it be.
I close my eyes and I surrounded by flames. Or at least, what appear to be flames, they were yellow and red lines on the walls, which were vibrating on top of one another, creating the appearance exactly like flickering flames.
The flickering matched my shaking nervousness exactly.
On the wall was a humanoid figure, made out of the flames, without features, his legs were crossed and flowed into thick roots, which spread out to into the floor.
His arms were stretched out in the crucifix position, holding up the burning ceiling.
And his head was hanging down, he lifted it to look towards me, then his neck collapsed and his head went back down.
I thought: "If someone died in anxiety, and this is what they first saw, they would assume, 'Oh shit, I'm in hell' and if they didn't have a way to think otherwise, this anxiety could conceivably continue forever."
I sort of floated according to my focus, so I focused around the corned, where I found a little pit among the flames, I went down in there and tried to calm myself.
In real-time, as I thought to calm down, the flames slowed-down, the flickering stopped, and the bright yellows and reds transitioned into a deep calming blue.
This relieved me to the extent that I felt that if I was in this position again, I had the capacity to calm myself down and return to calmness...
The other bad experience, was with a being which appeared like an alien gray, with smooth teal skin.
He approached me like those spirits from the left side of my table, he felt horrible, never have I felt such nastiness:
"Why are you being good on earth, that's not what this place is for, you're such a problem, all you're going to achieve is sitting around all day admiring beauty with your other self-righteous goody goodies."
Me: "What do you mean that this is not what the earth is for?"
He sort of snickered: "Where do you think you are? You're in Satan's playground! Forget the crystal cities, you're here now, ad you better start acting like it!"
Me: "You mean this is hell?"
ET: "This is far from hell! Hell is sitting around admiring beauty all day (He shows me an image of thrones surrounding a sun, humanoids in thrones smile and create patterns in the sun's surface) Actually, hell is my job, keeping all of this in order the way it is..."
So I got up and literally attempted to run away from this being, but he had already latched into me.
ET: "You fucking stupid humans, destroying your earth, how easy to bring out your short-comings, the toilet is the perfect throne to you pathetic humans, you shit your waste away so someone else can deal with it, and you cut-down trees to wipe your ass, then flush it away wasting precious water, pathetic. You make a perfect critique of your self-rightous spirit parents, revealing how conditional your goodness and love really is, so pathetic. Fucking your world each and every day without even second guessing."
Me: "Leave me! You're not in my best interest, get away from me now!"
This just pissed him off, and he did this sort of analyze scan to me.
ET: "Who is your Master?"
Me: "No one is my Master."
ET (angryly): "Who is your Master!? Who is your Master!? Who is your Master!? Who is your Master!?" Like he got stuck in a frustrated loop, I could tell he had a master.
He continued screaming this at me, while then forcibly pinning me down, then began to rape me, I could feel the energy drain from my body.
I struggled to get away from him, but there was no getting away. Suddenly he transformed into a Roman Soldier, and suddenly I was in a white robe, and suddenly we were on the top of a pyramid in the middle of a jungle.
He ripped out my right-eye, I think it was my right eye, and he proceeded to skull-fuck me, further draining my body and spirit.
He threw me down the pyramid's steps when he was done with me, and my body fell apart into pieces, the body parts left trails of blood as they bounced down the pyramid, they then started spinning rapidly and snapping back together, I watched a large rib cage form, organs bubbled into existence, then muscle tissue grew suddenly. I was stood up at the bottom of the pyramid and I was a horse.
There was a golden appearing Egyptian man with his hand at my side, he thought to me: "Now be free."
And he hit my hind side and I went running into the jungle crying.
Now for my two most recent experiences, which were wonderful, I will combine them into a single experience, as they were incredibly similar, I feel that the same beings had engaged with me each time, as the patterns and feelings from these beings was similar and spoke of similar matters very specifically.
At first I was in a vibrant magenta room, and a giant hand went up my back, it felt very maternal and feminine.
The hand moved with my back as to instruct me which posture I should take.
When I had aligned myself properly the room began to spin away from me, and I felt the sensation of weightlessness.
Suddenly a blue pattern grew into the magenta, and it had become mixed with these colors.
A magenta female humanoid appeared and embraced a light-blue male humanoid, they were featureless, made-up of the same rounded patterns as seen on the wall.
They held eachother at the hip and looked into each others' faces, standing tall, it felt as though they could stay like that for eternity.
They then began speaking to me:
"Thank you so much for your being, your world is in dire need of such empathetic being. This argument of way of being has been going on for a long time, far too long to even know in your current state.
The argument has reached compromises and developments times innumerable, the peak of which is depicted in your world. There is no right or wrong way, simply varieties of being, some of which nurture and others which destroy.
There has been a great attempt to integrate multiple ways of being into a single way, but this results in death and decay, for it is unstable, as these two ways of nurturing and of destruction cause eachother to decay.
The experience of your world acts as a filter, to expose the true way of being of any fractured piece of consciousness, as they reveal their true self in ignorance, allow for all possible spectrum of being at the same time.
When one engages with what is termed "evil" they are creating a connection with that isolated spectrum, and enacting that connection resulting in the physical gesture, the same goes for actions termed "love" and "empathy", creating a path from outside your reality, and enacting this connection through actions, thoughts, creations and subtitles such as the the focus of attention and particularities in how one communicates with words.
This is a compromise of both forces, according to the standards of both that which is termed "darkness" and of "light" so that the true way of being may be known in each spirit, according to their own self, by their own choice, not the judgment of another.
There has been great attempts to pirate this process, many hurdles of confusion, the majority religions and majority image of "God" have been subverted by dark forces, to create a slanted outcome which results in fewer spirits enacting true full purification.
This is an act of desperateness, as your universe is the only space in which the darkness may substantiate itself, so these forces have gone to great lengths as to not allow a single spirit to leave your universe.
The light does as much as it can without supply the dark with too much purity to be reversed and used against the light. The light obeys the circumstance fully, as to do otherwise would be against that way of being. Where as the dark may corrupt, reverse and divert, as this is part of their way of being.
You are living the argument in action, in every moment of every day, seen and experienced by both the light and dark forces by use of each eye, the left eye leading to those viewers of darkness, and the right eye leading to those viewers of the light.
This process has come a long way, and there comes a time for each planetary cycle to reach it's conclusions, to make the filtering of each spirit known by their own actions and choices, the results of your world have been and will continue to be applied throughout your universe, by both forces of light and of darkness.
Be careful of your lust my son, as you have achieved so much, that it would be unfortunate for small minor details to keep you away from that which you are growing towards. Be careful of over-positivity, as this is used to sheen over that which is unfortunate and the true issues go ignored.
Of course, you are free to do as you please entirely according to your own way of being, and of course you are forgiven for that which you truly transform into goodness from incompleteness, all is considered and accounted for entirely. There is no passed judgment on any, there is no resentment nor blame towards any, as all is bound to the whole, and all is as it is."
Then I left and came back here, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else
What I've personally gained and feel, is that this life experience is like a pre-requisite, to make a spirit compatible with all spectrum's of being.
Through direct individual experience, we learn of love and of destruction, we are not spoon fed, but we learn through direct experience and engagement.
This makes the empathy and understanding ACTUAL as opposed to being simply told this or that according to anothers' perspective.
Once we conclude our experience here, we are equipped with individual empathy and knowing which makes us compatible with a great deal of realities and of a great variety of beings.
Essentially turning us into beings that can engage with all ways of beings, and bring our own self and our own individual way to the circumstance.
On the surface it seems horrendous and like a cosmic practical joke on us, but really this is a sophisticated process that allows us to grow on our own, and to KNOW WHY not to do this or that next time maybe, through direct experience.
My personal goal is to become Christ-Like, without the accessories of modern dogma, while accepting and forgiving my short-comings, growing better for the next time, to be strong in my convictions, but to be welcoming and willing to engage with ALL beings, of the darkest darks and of the lightest lights, remaining increasingly stronger in my convictions in any case, growing always, developing always, to not become stagnant, endless peace and empathy.
There is no reason to hate, blame or resent, as in ourselves is everything that has also been, including anger, desire, hatred, bigotry, passing judgment, taking advantage, all of the nastiness and all of the love and empathy.
So forgiveness and acceptance towards everyone becomes a no-brainer, for this allows for forgiveness and acceptance of ourselves as well.
Peace, love, lengthiness completed
