Hello ColombianUnit,

Welcome to the Nexus.  Like Enoon, I found your story to be a bit confusing.  But, the overall theme to me appeared to be anxiety or a panic attack of some sort.  I'm so sorry you had to experience this.

I wonder if you practice meditation of any sort?  I have found daily meditation very helpful in calming and controlling (I don't like that word but there it is) my mind.

So, what brings you to the Nexus?  Have you tried psychedelics?  Have you tried DMT, either smoked or oral?  What did you think?  Did you also have anxiety or panic or was it different?  What more are you willing to tell us about yourself, your interests, career, life as a psychonaut, etc.?

Again, a warm welcome to you.