ozora
Rising Star
i've never felt compelled to write about a dmt experience before.
i had one though on friday night which has really shaken me up and i'm not generally prone to melodramatics, maybe it would've been more appropriate to have written this in the following thread...
i don't know but here goes:-
i'd drunk a bottle of red wine over the course of the evening and my wife had already gone to bed, when i joined her she was already asleep. feeling relaxed i thought it was a good time to smoke a changa pipe. the changa was a 50/50 mix, the freebase having been recrystallised once and i knew it was of good quality having smoked or shared the majority of the 4 grammes i'd made of it. i was down to the last half gramme of what was essentially green dust. i put into the bowl what i thought was a reasonable amount and lit it, taking it in long, continuously and deep i finished it and just about managed to get the pipe on the bedside table before being overwhelmed in the usual (for me) geometrical world of madness!
no crystal snakes, unfathomable machines, bizzare landscapes or beings this time though. i was immediately catapulted into death. i was conscious only that i'd pushed it too far and that i wasn't going to return. i was surrounded by total cavernous blackness, this was nothing like having your eyes shut whereby it feels like there's a black wall or curtain in front of you, this was infinite and had depth. as i slipped further and further into it i was aware only of that i hoped my wife knew that i'd loved her and that she'd convey this to our two kids also, and then i was gone. no tunnels of white light or shadowy people.
nothing. forever.
i have no idea how long i remained in this state, only that suddenly i was upright and overwhelmed by panic. it took several minutes to calm down and reassure myself i was infact alive!
honestly, i'm a fairly well seasoned user of psychedelics, i've had my share of bad lsd trips over the years where i've thought i've lost my mind and would never return to sanity, but always i've been able to retain a grasp of the reality of what it is, an altered state. this was different, this appeared complete.
i apologise that i've never really took the time on the nexus to read through other peoples experiences, i do however share and enjoy listening to those experienced between myself and my friends. i've not heard anybody recount something though as profound and final as this seemed to be.
have i put too much in the pipe? has what i put in the pipe somehow altered slightly? is what i experienced not uncommon? do i sound like a right bloody drama queen?!
i know one thing though, some 36 hours later it is still haunting me more than just a little bit, should i maybe lay off it for a while?
any reassurances much appreciated, i can't imagine my love affair with dmt is over but i do know i'm not in any rush whatsoever to go back to the black and final place!
i had one though on friday night which has really shaken me up and i'm not generally prone to melodramatics, maybe it would've been more appropriate to have written this in the following thread...
i don't know but here goes:-
i'd drunk a bottle of red wine over the course of the evening and my wife had already gone to bed, when i joined her she was already asleep. feeling relaxed i thought it was a good time to smoke a changa pipe. the changa was a 50/50 mix, the freebase having been recrystallised once and i knew it was of good quality having smoked or shared the majority of the 4 grammes i'd made of it. i was down to the last half gramme of what was essentially green dust. i put into the bowl what i thought was a reasonable amount and lit it, taking it in long, continuously and deep i finished it and just about managed to get the pipe on the bedside table before being overwhelmed in the usual (for me) geometrical world of madness!
no crystal snakes, unfathomable machines, bizzare landscapes or beings this time though. i was immediately catapulted into death. i was conscious only that i'd pushed it too far and that i wasn't going to return. i was surrounded by total cavernous blackness, this was nothing like having your eyes shut whereby it feels like there's a black wall or curtain in front of you, this was infinite and had depth. as i slipped further and further into it i was aware only of that i hoped my wife knew that i'd loved her and that she'd convey this to our two kids also, and then i was gone. no tunnels of white light or shadowy people.
nothing. forever.
i have no idea how long i remained in this state, only that suddenly i was upright and overwhelmed by panic. it took several minutes to calm down and reassure myself i was infact alive!
honestly, i'm a fairly well seasoned user of psychedelics, i've had my share of bad lsd trips over the years where i've thought i've lost my mind and would never return to sanity, but always i've been able to retain a grasp of the reality of what it is, an altered state. this was different, this appeared complete.
i apologise that i've never really took the time on the nexus to read through other peoples experiences, i do however share and enjoy listening to those experienced between myself and my friends. i've not heard anybody recount something though as profound and final as this seemed to be.
have i put too much in the pipe? has what i put in the pipe somehow altered slightly? is what i experienced not uncommon? do i sound like a right bloody drama queen?!
i know one thing though, some 36 hours later it is still haunting me more than just a little bit, should i maybe lay off it for a while?
any reassurances much appreciated, i can't imagine my love affair with dmt is over but i do know i'm not in any rush whatsoever to go back to the black and final place!
