To be totaly honest, i've been to AA. and ive stopped drinking for months at a time, past the sweats and shakes. but it hasn't helped my personal issues. it seems to me that it all started with the DMT trip, and I could never get myself to talk about it to an AA group. Its embaressing, someone should be able to deal wiht a bad trip, it shouldn't define how they live, but it did. How could I explain it.

So I came to this site ( i barely use the internet) to see what people have found to deal with bad trips. Hell, maybe I didn't even need to post anything. I guess my intro post foccused mainly on my drinking, and sad little cirrcumstances therin, and honestly I will never kill myself, thats a silly decision, and overdramatic on my part. But I just wanted to relay the power this one trip has been having over my life. change isn't easy either. but i was serious when i said em gonna try and open my eyes. Im going to find a councelor (it does seem pretty dumb I havnt seen one before now) . Also I've considered many times trying DMT again to tryand face my fear, but prepared, and in a MUCh smaller dose. I was never sure whether that was completely stupid or not on my part, also i was afraid. but I think its true that I could never do as much harm to myself there as what Ive been doing every day.

once agian, I appreciate all your insight, and help. and i still got the book, so AA might not be a bad idea,haha, thats ajoke, seriously though im looking up groups in my area, probably will be what the councelor says anyway ya know    

all the best.