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Concerned about the nature of myself

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OwlMan

OwlMan

Rising Star
Some nights ago, by the aid of mushrooms, I went deep out on the cosmic ocean of my consciousness. Much deeper than I've ever been before. I found somethings about the nature of myself that I cant shake off and it scares me a bit.

I found out that I'm old, very old, much older than mankind. I don't come from this world nor this planet, the body which I live in right now is only a temporary vessel. The lifeform I experienced as my "true" self was so different, so strange I can't describe it. The words - as always - loose meaning when I try to take them back to this world but I felt I was so different from a human and that I in fact was an "alien".

It feels like I've took the "red pill" and now I can't go back to seeing my life as I used to. This make me a bit anxious but also very lonely. I feel I can't tell this to anyone. None of my friends are experienced with psychedelics the way I am and they would most certainly be very concerned about my mental health if I told them that I in fact is a "space alien" :shock: .

What do you make of this? Has anyone of you had similar experiences?
 
How are you certain that the lifeform you experienced was your true self and not just another lifeform you were/were experiencing at that time? Could you describe your trip in more detail? It sounds interesting

I always feel like an alien when on mushrooms :lol: We are so removed from our true nature that when its confronted it looks completely alien to us. Sounds like your trip took that to another level!
 
Take it as a teaching and go with it. There is nothing wrong to be older then mankind is there, mayb that is actually bettter in some cases! and never the less u still actually no the physical age your body is now.

Sorry if i dont help, but after more time and reflection on it you will be fine.
Or you could go back stirght away, and see were you go again, accept what happens, and learn! Its a leson

Either way you will be fine. And if it feels to much tell your friends it was a dream playing on your mind if u need to physically talk to someone!

Remeber you are not lonely, many people would of had similar problems, read through the fourm!

Respect, and regards.
 
UniverseCannon said:
How are you certain that the lifeform you experienced was your true self and not just another lifeform you were/were experiencing at that time?
Click to expand...

I've also thought of this, I think it's possible that I became "the mushroom". In earlier trips I've experienced the mushroom telling me that it comes from another part of the universe but this time, however, it was different. This time I completly felt like myself - it was just that my body wasn't, I don't know if that make any sense but my soul was still the same but I could see it in a new light.

UniverseCannon said:
I always feel like an alien when on mushrooms :lol: We are so removed from our true nature that when its confronted it looks completely alien to us. Sounds like your trip took that to another level!
Click to expand...

:lol:
 
If all life is indeed connected thru time back toward a common ancestor, then we, collectively, are indeed older than mankind. This is a profound realization and nothing to be frightened of. It appears at times that the differentiation we impose between organisms is illusionary to the degree that we are generally aware of only one point of the total scale of the earth's intertwined ecosystem.

In other words, there is but one living organism on earth, perhaps, that sees itself thru very many eyes.
 
You must be from another planet if you liked season 2 of twin peaks :lol:

In all seriousness, remember you took a powerful chemical substance that pushed buttons in your brain that are not normally pressed throughout the course of one's life. Unusual, amazing, and even crazy thoughts can pass through a persons's head when on such substance.

Addit: I can relate to the feelings of tapping into a sort of older, evolutionary consciousness. SWIM had a similar experience on cactus.
 
some might say you had a glimpse of your true self, your everlasting light body, and the reason it felt so weird is that this is the first time you've actually interacted and acknowledged its(your) existence and identity.....

.......you've remembered yourself....
 
OwlMan said:
UniverseCannon said:
How are you certain that the lifeform you experienced was your true self and not just another lifeform you were/were experiencing at that time?
Click to expand...

I've also thought of this, I think it's possible that I became "the mushroom". In earlier trips I've experienced the mushroom telling me that it comes from another part of the universe but this time, however, it was different. This time I completly felt like myself - it was just that my body wasn't, I don't know if that make any sense but my soul was still the same but I could see it in a new light.

UniverseCannon said:
I always feel like an alien when on mushrooms :lol: We are so removed from our true nature that when its confronted it looks completely alien to us. Sounds like your trip took that to another level!
Click to expand...

:lol:
Click to expand...

I love becoming the mushroom! Spores are most likely from another part of the universe. Spores and fungi were some of the first life on this planet. Life evolves. 1/2 of your DNA is shared with mushrooms! You ARE very old, you ARE the mushroom!
 
Sound like me 4 years ago.

I saw some things - external things that changed me for the rest of my life. Unlike you, it had nothing to do with 'me' it had everything to do with everything I experienced every day. I saw everything different. Took me a long time to recover... I can still say that I can't live my life seeing the way I did on mushrooms - it's not possible. Some people would like to say "its teaching you something, you must learn from it" and I did, but it would be impossible to live with it.

You seem much better off than I was. I was frantic, panicing. You will be fine, and if in doubt, time cures all, friend.

But age old advice that will forever work - is just realize what you learned, and gain from it.
 
Yes indeed connected from that first strand of physical existence in the primal sea. That first single cell.
And now here we be. As we have build upon our repitilan brain stem to reach this point of uncertainty.

No reason to fear!!
The Human Mind is Here!!

You are indeed old your ancestors were breeding rapidly long before the concept of God. Before the fantasy of the mind. OR the developed brain.

No worries man embrace it:)

Almost forgot!
Welcome to the Nexus Owl Man!:)

Yeah I just got back and it was wonderful:lol:

Tripple Peace
MV
 
Hearing all your reactions truly warms me, I feel comforted in taking my realization as a teaching and not as if I would have discovered something I wasn't meant to know.

I'm glad I'm not alone, thank you fellow Nexians.

MagikVenom said:
Almost forgot!
Welcome to the Nexus Owl Man!:)
Click to expand...

Thank you MV, I'm very glad to be here :).
 
So... time have passed since my realization and I've digested it a little.

I feel great, I feel that I've experienced my "higher self". I've had a glimpse of what the ancient alchemists called immortality. I've realized that I'm a soul, so much more than "just" human. I feel like I've been blessed with an experience very few people ever get to have.

I feel fantastic. Love you all!
 
Welcome to the Nexus! Sounds like an amazing trip. I think that it's fairly common among people to journey enough. It also seems that having access to that level of Self is a major part of the Western Esoteric system. I would suggest listening to Ziggy Stardust and Mechanical Animals for artistic interpretations of similar experiences.
 
WOW
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I too have no one to relate my experiences with so I come here time to time. Its a great place to share those deep journeys with those who have been there. You may agree that some of the best experiences have been those that you swear you have gone to far to never return. They require lots of courage and give you unspeakable rewards.
 
I also had this sort of experience - waking up in an "alien" spiritual being (a deeper me). I would be very glad to have a reliable transport back to that Inner Self, but unfortunately, I was really there only once in my life and could never get back, however much I wanted to.
 
inner said:
You may agree that some of the best experiences have been those that you swear you have gone to far to never return. They require lots of courage and give you unspeakable rewards.
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree :d no guts, no glory...

ragabr said:
I would suggest listening to Ziggy Stardust and Mechanical Animals for artistic interpretations of similar experiences.
Click to expand...

Never thought of Ziggy this way before:wink:
 
ah finaly someone who is catching up to me and my 3 friends. its ok your not crazy. salvia took me to that same level. but that place i was at was an eternety in time and when i came back i look around and go ."holy crap people are like just bodys to contain that inner "soul" or self of who you are without a body." and its nice to see that someone is understanding this so jsut go with it and act upon it :D. zip it away in that brain of yours as a zip file and open another one. nothing is impossible
 
After just coming off of DMT, I went over to a mirror in the house and stared at myself. I felt like an avatar, a body where a soul of some sort resides, like this reality is one of many, but this is what I am because it is all my mind can comprehend. I always wonder when I look in the mirror, who is it that I am actually seeing. Being human felt so awkward, then I began to stick out my tongue, and a wave of something came up my spine, through my brain and I almost passed out in shock of being such a weird creature. Hmm.
 
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