Curiosity of Existance or: How I learned to think clearly and escape my bias ways

[spacegiraffe]

The Propaganda Machine
It was the new millennium and I had just turned 7. The first years of school had had come and gone; set on a path which I did not belong. Who am I? What am I? Why am I? New concepts yet only words to me. If not for the propaganda instilled in my school this may have been an enlightening age for someone as curious as I but, like most kids my age, school stood in the way.

It would take years to overcome the years of filth endured -- Virtues, authority, respect. There was no choice in the matter, they had total control of reality. Innocence is a word used too commonly about children and rarely is it appropriate. Innocence shrouds curiosity and ones will to learn; to learn about ones self and of liberty. Freedom. Oh how I longed for it. It had been many years since I had tasted the sweet drops of life. My life was but a cardboard box, one that would take another 7 years to break down. 7 years I served, guilty of being innocent. No court in the world would convict a person for innocence only a school hell-bent on sculpting the 'perfect' students.[Though this is similar in most private, religious schools]

The Great Escape
Fourteen years, had it really taken this long? This long to earn my freedom? Freedom, held back for years by overzealous parents and their trust in the school system. This injustice had gone on for too long it was now that I take action! But.. I knew little of this world, I was yet to have explored the outer-most regions of my cage. Again, I was trapped but at least I knew it. The lies that held me back were beginning to unravel, soon I would escape this cage. Soon, but not soon enough.

My hair was wild, clothing torn and mind open but Religion, politics and prejudice still stood in the way. All Things I had yet to uncover and, subsequently, get over. As the year passed my grades fell and curiosity soared. I had sprout wings and flown; tried things I once condemned as evil and sin. I felt free. My journey was complete or at least I thought it was.. That crucial misunderstanding can be blamed for the years I was set back, to think that I was ready when my journey had barely begun. Even now when the tide is right you can look out into the ocean and see where it all came crashing down; where reality finally caught up with me -- For freedom without ambition and the will power to keep it is but a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. So I searched but could not find ambition in music or learning. Oh brothers I searched hard for it, high and low but it was far from my reach - or at least I thought so. Little did I know I wasn't ready for escape, not yet, perhaps never. Yet, I thrived for ambition; I had to break free.

The Long Goodbye
As I felt the earth between my toes and tasted the fruits of my freedom I felt sublime and contempt with life. I was happy, for once in my life I felt truly happy. I turned my back on the world, for a moment too long. That was all it took, I was back on the path of disillusioned views; my yellow brick road. Oh hindsight how you mock us.

My life had taken a turn for the worse, but in knowing this now would I change the direction I was headed not knowing where it may lead? Probably not for I would not be the spirit I am today if not for the lessons learned from my mistakes. Religion was the first fight I fought, not in any conventional way but as an internal struggle to understand what's important in life. As it was only now that I had cared so much about religion, now that I had denounced my faith and all those who believe. For it took a long two years to realise what I had once known. A two year detour to understand that I shouldn't care. That just because something makes sense to me, it doesn't make it right. My own prejudice stopped me from seeing that good and evil are one of the same. Though, I would not come to this conclusion for some time.

As my taste in music developed so did my prejudice. I had always enjoyed Metal and Hard Rock ever since I was exposed to it in year 9 but it wasn't until year 11 that I could truly be considered an elitist. As my friends all listened to rap and electronic music I found myself in a never ending battle to prove my music was "the best". Then, in late 2009 I tried DXM. My mind felt free for the first time, the music I would have once killed over now pierced my mind. DXM cured my selfish ways, I no longer alienated myself like I once had and began discussing topics not arguing them. Time went by and my taste in music continued to broaden, it wasn't long until I no longer cared what people listened to. It was now that I began to seek out knowledge. Curiosity. I wanted to learn again. My new thirst for knowledge led to the exploration of the questions themselves. No longer did I care for answers, I could no longer be certain of anything. Instead I search for questions I have yet to ask myself and concepts not yet considered.

Final Reconciliation
After 18 long years I finally broke out from my cocoon and began my transition into an individual. I finally realised that it wasn't freedom I was searching for but an escape from my egotism. I was never searching for freedom, my concept of freedom is skewed. It was me all along. My ego. My bias. My beliefs. I didn't want to know who I truly was. To this day I am yet to fully understand myself, and I may never be able to truly understand myself but through the use of psychedelics I hope to expand my mind and how I perceive myself and this universe.


About me
Grew up in Australia, lived in New Zealand for about a year.
Currently studying Law & Commerce, it's a 5 year program.
I have a passion for watching good films and watching them high.
I smoke weed recreationally, daily with the exception of days that I have classes or an exam.
The drug which has most opened my mind would be DXM though I'm planning on trying LSD during easter break this week.
I want to try DMT as though I've heard much about "bad trips" to me good and bad are the same.
Not sure how I will acquire DMT, I plan on extracting it when I move out, until then I'm going to stick to DXM, shrooms and if LSD is enjoyable, LSD.

Questions
Is the purchasing of bark containing DMT illegal in Australia?
How can DMT help me learn more about myself?
If caught with DMT what legal trouble can I face?
If people can get past, can they get future?


I hope you'll accept me in your community

 

[Enoon]

greetings and welcome to the nexus, spacegiraffe!

Your post made me want to quote this:

"Shall we begin like David Copperfield? I was born, I grew up... Or shall we begin when I was born to darkness... as I call it."
(interview with a vampire)

What brings you here, what is the ungraspable essence of your being? Will it be found in your history or your future?
what makes you want to talk about dmt, psychedelics or whatnot?
What is it that drove you to join our community here?
These are the questions I couldn't answer from your post... perhaps they were meant to be answered in your update to come? tell us about yourself maybe, not these circumstantial things that you are meant to leave behind or overcome...
In any case I wish you the best;

much love
Enoon

EDIT: ok, read your recent edit.
good and bad trips are most definitely not the same, but one can learn from both. Still, they are NOT the same. you'll know when you've had a really bad one.

I don't know if mimosa is illegal in AUS, but I hear a lot of people in AUS extract from acacia bark. There's a few aussies on here, I'm sure they might be able to help you.

Legal trouble with DMT is the same as any other schedule 1 substance. DON'T GET CAUGHT

DMT and other psychedelics help us understand ourselves because they help you self-reflect. They are in a sence like mirrors being held up to us; but as the multidimensional being we are, we can never see everything with just one mirror and one angle... So every time we do psychedelics we can try to elucidate more or different areas of ourselves, gain access to parts of yourself that you haven't communicated with yet... This process however doesn't always happen while you're under the influence though. As long as you keep reflecting upon the experiences, you will keep being able to grow from it.

Be careful with DXM, it's IMO one of the darker substances that can decrease lucidity if taken repeatedly. It is fascinating, interesting and useful in certain respects. I found it was a great asset in breaking down conditionings in my mind, like things I had learned from childhood etc. But it also broke down a lot more in me and at some point I had to decide to never again touch it. I just suggest caution with this substance - use it wisely.

much love
E

 

[spacegiraffe]

It's late buy I'll try to answer your questions quickly, before I sleep.

What brings you here, what is the ungraspable essence of your being? Will it be found in your history or your future?

In future though it's not one particular thing and seeing as I haven't grasped it yet it's quite difficult to explain.
From my previous experiences with psychedelics I'm want to open my mind to this world to properly understand who I am from every perspective and to understand every perspective of this world.

what makes you want to talk about dmt, psychedelics or whatnot?

I guess it's my desire to understand myself that got me interested in DMT and psychedelics.
I use the word myself but to be clear I'm talking about the human mind, my mind and everything you and I perceive as truth.

What is it that drove you to join our community here?

Read a post from about a year ago about a person who had a bad trip and blamed DMT. (Found the thread when searching for DMT experiences in google)
One of the replies said that DMT does not cause bad trips, you do, you as in if you have a bad trip then you sought DMT for the wrong reasons, you did not seek it for knowledge and understanding but to "trip balls". I've had similar experiences with DXM and LSA though LSA was mainly fractal vision and I didn't really find it to be much of a learning experience. Every DXM trip I've had I come out a different, more understand person but I have friends who've tripped DXM and told me it was horrible. Don't get me wrong I've experienced bad DXM trips but I've never found is terrifying or "bad", I've always sought to understand why I was having a bad trip.

If anything drove me to join the community it's because I feel that I can relate to many of you even if I'm not quite ready for DMT yet.
Also when I do extract some DMT for myself I want to be able to share my experience and get a better understand of it, I have no friends that also seek understanding through psychedelics so it's difficult for me to talk to people(in real life) about my experiences.

These are the questions I couldn't answer from your post... perhaps they were meant to be answered in your update to come? tell us about yourself maybe, not these circumstantial things that you are meant to leave behind or overcome...

I know this wasn't a question but this is exactly what I've been trying to say. That I don't understand myself very well and that I am using psychedelics to better my understanding of myself and my perception of the world around me.

good and bad trips are most definitely not the same, but one can learn from both. Still, they are NOT the same. you'll know when you've had a really bad one.

Hard to explain a bad DXM trip but worst part of one of my trips was when the walls of my dark hallway turned a crimson red and my bathroom became a sombre hell with non-human statues and an orange, lava-like glow. I'm guessing a bad DMT trip is far more fierce and vivid.
Originally, I meant that both good and bad trips are to be learning experiences and that though there is a difference in the two it is you that causes the trip to be good/bad and not the drug.

I don't know if mimosa is illegal in AUS, but I hear a lot of people in AUS extract from acacia bark. There's a few aussies on here, I'm sure they might be able to help you.

Well, I live on the SE coast of Queensland and I'm planning to either find an acacia plant (they're very common around here) or buy Virola resin or bark from overseas (which seems to be legal). If someone could help me that would be great but I thought there was a forum policy against the discussing of procuring drugs.

Legal trouble with DMT is the same as any other schedule 1 substance. DON'T GET CAUGHT

Got it, I don't plan on ever selling it so I'm pretty sure I won't get caught.

DMT and other psychedelics help us understand ourselves because they help you self-reflect. They are in a sence like mirrors being held up to us; but as the multidimensional being we are, we can never see everything with just one mirror and one angle... So every time we do psychedelics we can try to elucidate more or different areas of ourselves, gain access to parts of yourself that you haven't communicated with yet... This process however doesn't always happen while you're under the influence though. As long as you keep reflecting upon the experiences, you will keep being able to grow from it.

This is the answer I was trying to give before. I seek out psychedelics as they help be better understand myself through these self-reflections. I've been trying to find a meaning for the 6 sided diamond see-through mirror I keep seeing in my trips. I'll be sitting on my couch or computer chair then the world becomes this big diamond shaped, mirror-looking thing. I've tried to explain it to a friend of mine the other day but until now I haven't even been able to relate it to anything in reality, in fact I could never think of it as a mirror until reading your post. Thanks.

If you don't mind I might use what you wrote above to explain my trips to a fellow psychedelic enthusiast from Melbourne.
If that's fine with you of course.

Be careful with DXM, it's IMO one of the darker substances that can decrease lucidity if taken repeatedly. It is fascinating, interesting and useful in certain respects. I found it was a great asset in breaking down conditionings in my mind, like things I had learned from childhood etc. But it also broke down a lot more in me and at some point I had to decide to never again touch it. I just suggest caution with this substance - use it wisely.

I currently trip DXM at most twice a month though usually once a month. My rule with Psychedelics is no more than twice a month and never more than once a week as I've heard you can get psychologically addicted to them if used frequently. DMT will be no exception.

Questions:
Would you recommend using DMT less than once a month?
Have you tripped DXM before and if so is Plateaus 3 and 4 anything similar to a DMT trip?
Should taking LSA be a learning experience or more just a visual paradise full of fractals and repeating shapes?
Is it recommended to smoke weed with psychedelics? in particular LSD? and DMT?

Woops, spent a good hour longer than I should of.
Well at least I'll get to sleep a little easier now (I have insomnia).
And sorry but I'm yet to see interview with the vampire, I have it downloaded though so I'll be watching it very shortly. Most of my favorite films are by Stanley Kubrick, Orson Welles or Martin Scorsese but I could name hundreds of films that I would consider spectacular.

 

[Enoon]

If you don't mind I might use what you wrote above to explain my trips to a fellow psychedelic enthusiast from Melbourne.
If that's fine with you of course.

Go for it glad I could help.

"Would you recommend using DMT less than once a month?"

I think it really depends on your situation, your method of digesting and integrating your trips, your psychological issues, the nature of your recent trips and what's going on in your life time-wise to know when to take dmt. I suggest that when you try it you try to look at the very subtle changes you might experience the days after your experience; I found with dmt especially that the understanding of the trips comes much slower, possibly inverse proportional to the time the experiene lasts ?
I probably use it about once a month, but I do use other psychedelics in between as well. My current system is based on an almost weekly journey, when time allows. I take breaks though when it feels right.


"Have you tripped DXM before and if so is Plateaus 3 and 4 anything similar to a DMT trip?"
DXM is IMO absolutely not comparable to DMT. They are nothing alike. Both are interesting, they are just very very different. It's like comparing scuba diving with sky diving. Both certainly wonderful experiences but also very different.

"Should taking LSA be a learning experience or more just a visual paradise full of fractals and repeating shapes?"

Everything you do, regardless of whether it involves psychedelics or a mundane activity, can be a learning experience. One just has to be attentive enough to catch the little lessons the universe can provide us with.

"Is it recommended to smoke weed with psychedelics? in particular LSD? and DMT?"
Weed and LSD or weed and mushrooms can be quite nice. I have not tried it with DMT, but I have heard it detracts from the experience and I would not really want to try it, because the dmt experience is accompanied by such clarity, which I wouldn't want to fog up with weed.

much love
Enoon

 

[spacegiraffe]

I think it really depends on your situation, your method of digesting and integrating your trips, your psychological issues, the nature of your recent trips and what's going on in your life time-wise to know when to take dmt. I suggest that when you try it you try to look at the very subtle changes you might experience the days after your experience; I found with dmt especially that the understanding of the trips comes much slower, possibly inverse proportional to the time the experiene lasts ?
I probably use it about once a month, but I do use other psychedelics in between as well. My current system is based on an almost weekly journey, when time allows. I take breaks though when it feels right.

I hope to work my way to weekly journey's one day but currently I know that I'm far from that and that if I start tripping too much I might lose sight of my uni course.

DXM is IMO absolutely not comparable to DMT. They are nothing alike. Both are interesting, they are just very very different. It's like comparing scuba diving with sky diving. Both certainly wonderful experiences but also very different.

I meant it more as are DMT and DXM trips similar in the understanding you gain from using them.
Will DMT give me a better understanding of myself and the world around me or does tripping DXM suffice?
Like, can I learn as much from one 15 to 60 minute DMT trip as I can from an 8 hour Plateau 3/4 experience?

Everything you do, regardless of whether it involves psychedelics or a mundane activity, can be a learning experience. One just has to be attentive enough to catch the little lessons the universe can provide us with.

Well, the most I ever took was 14 HBWR seeds and after the horrid hour of nausea I experienced some amazing fractals but I couldn't really reflect on myself and how I perceive the world around me. I was wondering if I didn't take enough to experience a fulfilling trip.
I do agree that everything is a learning experience but I was specifically talking about a learning experience like what I've had using DXM and how many people have with DMT.
I might try LSA again since I was only 16 when I tripped it those 4 or 5 times and my mind was very clouded back in those days.

Weed and LSD or weed and mushrooms can be quite nice. I have not tried it with DMT, but I have heard it detracts from the experience and I would not really want to try it, because the dmt experience is accompanied by such clarity, which I wouldn't want to fog up with weed.

Thanks, this was exactly what I was searching for.
I've had mixed experiences smoking weed then doing DXM or visa-versa and although they are good experiences I have found that weed does make it more difficult to reflect on myself and instead I prefer to eat a lot of food and listen to music all night. I guess weed makes the experiences more enjoyable but at the cost of understanding the trip and myself.


Must say, thank you for all the support so far. This is the first time I've been able to discuss tripping with anyone properly.

 

[Jugdish Jugemu]

Welcome to the Nexus, spacegiraffe. I'm new here myself, but I've lurked for a while, it's a great place!

Have you tripped DXM before and if so is Plateaus 3 and 4 anything similar to a DMT trip?
I meant it more as are DMT and DXM trips similar in the understanding you gain from using them. Will DMT give me a better understanding of myself and the world around me or does tripping DXM suffice? Like, can I learn as much from one 15 to 60 minute DMT trip as I can from an 8 hour Plateau 3/4 experience?

There are a couple takes I'd have on that question. People tend to have different drugs act on them in different ways, as is to be expected simply by their various mechanisms of action. DXM effects the brain in an almost totally different way than DMT. I think that the (both with smoked and orally-administered) DMT experience tends to allow for understanding to grow after the experience, as what goes on during a breakthrough trip is so bizarre your mind is just trying to keep up. With DXM, I tend to get more thinking done during the experience. Bottom line: you can learn as much as you want to from whatever you want, it's all about what "feels" right.

Should taking LSA be a learning experience or more just a visual paradise full of fractals and repeating shapes?

I'll echo enoon's sentiments on this question. If there isn't a learning moment that immediately presents itself, make sure you tuck some memories away (talking, writing, pictures, drawing, etc.) and revisit them from time to time. I'm still processing my first psychedelic experience (LSD), and that was a year-and-a-half ago! Good learning moments cannot be rushed.

Sasha Shulgin spoke of the effects of two different substances, mescaline and something else. With Mescalito at his side, he was content to stare at a flower, marvel at it's beauty, but never so much as touch it. On the other substance, he was also taken by the beauty of the flower, and promptly took it apart to unravel its secrets. Learning moments are like the flower; if you observe the beauty from a distance, with much love and respect, you can come back to that memory again and again, looking at it with new eyes each time, testing it against the new experiences you've had. Don't be surprised if you see something new each time. If you over-analyze from the beginning, however, you can taint a memory for ever, closing it off to new ideas and different perspectives.

Is it recommended to smoke weed with psychedelics? in particular LSD? and DMT?

I personally find dope to be a big downer on a DMT trip. The light and colors aren't as bright, it's just not as intense. Dope is good to have around for after the session, if you're the kinda guy who likes to smoke and do some thinking. I find that smoking a little after I'm done with a session helps me to ramble more effectively, whether it's talking or writing. But just a little, cause that energy can stick with you for quite a while after a trip!

I do think dope is a great thing for every psychonaut to have in their medicine kit. Great for any nausea that may pop up with mushrooms, mescaline, or LSA. For people who are very familiar with grass and normally quite enjoy it, it can be a powerful medicine to bring someone out of a bad trip, calm them down a bit.

Don't forget to take your time! You've got all the time in the world to try many new things. These are powerful substances with powerful messages, let them come to you!

Peace & Joy.

 

[spacegiraffe]

I'll echo enoon's sentiments on this question. If there isn't a learning moment that immediately presents itself, make sure you tuck some memories away (talking, writing, pictures, drawing, etc.) and revisit them from time to time. I'm still processing my first psychedelic experience (LSD), and that was a year-and-a-half ago! Good learning moments cannot be rushed.

Yes but all my DXM experiences I've been able to learn from throughout the experience and thinking about it afterwards. With my 5 or so LSA experiences I never could learn anything about myself or reflect on myself throughout the experience. I felt great during the entire trip and saw amazing fractals for hours on end but that was it, there was nothing to be learned from it. I understand that everything can be a learning experience but I was talking more about how most Psychedelics make it clearer to reflect on yourself and how you perceive this world so that you can learn much about yourself very quickly. LSA did not have this effect on me, hopefully LSD will.

I personally find dope to be a big downer on a DMT trip. The light and colors aren't as bright, it's just not as intense. Dope is good to have around for after the session, if you're the kinda guy who likes to smoke and do some thinking. I find that smoking a little after I'm done with a session helps me to ramble more effectively, whether it's talking or writing. But just a little, cause that energy can stick with you for quite a while after a trip!

Yeah, I've found the same thing with DXM and weed. If I smoke weed then do DXM the entire trip seems clouded and I don't experience a strong Plateau 3 experience and instead get the munchies and listen to music all night long. I also do find it to be a bit of a downer but it does make the experience more enjoyable. I'll try LSD first without weed then do it with weed so I can examine the difference in trips but I'm quite sure that weed just makes a trip more enjoyable but harder to reflect on yourself and learn from it.

I do think dope is a great thing for every psychonaut to have in their medicine kit. Great for any nausea that may pop up with mushrooms, mescaline, or LSA. For people who are very familiar with grass and normally quite enjoy it, it can be a powerful medicine to bring someone out of a bad trip, calm them down a bit.

Oh yes, that's why I used to smoke it after downing anymore than half a bottle of robotussin, I can't stand nausea. Now though I tend to relax and ignore it so that I can learn more from the trip, without weed. Also, I tend to find that I learn most about myself from bad trips, though they aren't very enjoyable I don't mind going through a bad trip to learn a lot about myself.

 

[Jugdish Jugemu]

I'll try LSD first without weed then do it with weed so I can examine the difference in trips but I'm quite sure that weed just makes a trip more enjoyable but harder to reflect on yourself and learn from it.

I tend to enjoy dope during LSD voyages; the energy from the LSD keeps me from getting too "stoned", no matter how much I smoke. Quite nice. Dope is a unique medicine though; 2 species produce hundreds of different varieties with drastically different effects. Not only that, people react differently to the same grass. I am lucky enough to have several strains at my disposal that are great for self-reflection and learning. A favorite of both myself and many of my friends has been Sugarberry, grow some or find some if it's legal in your location.

Oh yes, that's why I used to smoke it after downing anymore than half a bottle of robotussin, I can't stand nausea. Now though I tend to relax and ignore it so that I can learn more from the trip, without weed. Also, I tend to find that I learn most about myself from bad trips, though they aren't very enjoyable I don't mind going through a bad trip to learn a lot about myself.

I skip the nausea entirely and extract Dex from the syrup; easy enough to do and it gets rid of the bromide ions. Highly recommended.

I enjoy the dialogue, great talking with you!

Peace & Joy.

 

[spacegiraffe]

I skip the nausea entirely and extract Dex from the syrup; easy enough to do and it gets rid of the bromide ions. Highly recommended.

Could you explain how this is done?
I've always thought about extracting it but never really thought it made that much of a difference.

I enjoy the dialogue too, it's quite nice talking to some about drugs and not having to explain the difference between what I take and Heroin -.-
Peace.

 

[Jugdish Jugemu]

I've always thought about extracting it but never really thought it made that much of a difference.

It makes all the difference in the world.

Erowid DXM Vault : DXM FAQ - Chemistry and Extraction

DXM FAQ : Chemistry and Extraction, by William White

www.erowid.org

I use the single-phase A/B extraction because I already had NaOH and Naphtha on hand for spice extractions. Couple of pulls with Naphtha, let it evaporate. Don't lose hope when there are no crystals appearing as the naphtha is drying, it has to be completely dry before it forms a really cool sheet of crystals on the bottom.

Don't forget that there's going to be a ~33% weight loss from stripping the HBr off: if you were expecting 710mg of Dex HBr, you're only going to get ~546mg of freebase. Dose accordingly!

The freebase is frighteningly bitter, I've capped it, as well as mixed it with lime juice and shot it down. A shot of cough syrup actually helps wash that taste out of your mouth...

I generally don't do any sort of re-x; since it is going to be ingested rather than smoked/vaped, my friends and I really didn't see the point unless there is a major contamination. Doing the naphtha wash before basifying is essential, I know they list the step as optional, but don't skip it.

Let me know how that works out for you!

 

[spacegiraffe]

It makes all the difference in the world.

Erowid DXM Vault : DXM FAQ - Chemistry and Extraction

DXM FAQ : Chemistry and Extraction, by William White

www.erowid.org

I use the single-phase A/B extraction because I already had NaOH and Naphtha on hand for spice extractions. Couple of pulls with Naphtha, let it evaporate. Don't lose hope when there are no crystals appearing as the naphtha is drying, it has to be completely dry before it forms a really cool sheet of crystals on the bottom.

Don't forget that there's going to be a ~33% weight loss from stripping the HBr off: if you were expecting 710mg of Dex HBr, you're only going to get ~546mg of freebase. Dose accordingly!

The freebase is frighteningly bitter, I've capped it, as well as mixed it with lime juice and shot it down. A shot of cough syrup actually helps wash that taste out of your mouth...

I generally don't do any sort of re-x; since it is going to be ingested rather than smoked/vaped, my friends and I really didn't see the point unless there is a major contamination. Doing the naphtha wash before basifying is essential, I know they list the step as optional, but don't skip it.

Let me know how that works out for you!

I was planning on doing the Agent Lemon Extraction Method though this seems like a better method.
I'm not sure which I will try, depends on whether it's easier to get ammonia or NaOH in Australia really.
And I definitely won't skip the Napatha wash, I understand the importance of Napatha (shellite) in the extraction.

Well, I plan to do this either today or tomorrow so I'll get back to you soon on how it goes