Ok so this one shook me to the very core of my being...never have i ever gone this far into it with bufotenine..it was soososoosos much more visual than anything i ever experienced with spice..deeper than ayahuasca..the closest thing i can compare it to is once when i ate 6 grams of dry psilocybe cyanescenes..but i think this went past that as well...deep deep into bufotenine hyperspace..
This week has been insane psychedelic wise..i had one night of ayahuasca that involved a caapi and mimosa brew, coupled with repeated doses of jimjam changa..and 3 nights of high dose bufotenine changa leading up to my 4th night with bufotenine last night..
Now this batch was VERY concentrated and contained alot of caapi extract as well..and theobromine was involved in all the journeys..
The night before last..my 3rd night with bufotenine had me dumbfounded..there is a stage with bufo where if you take enough, right after the peakof the first stage..there is a second stage, very very close to psilocin..except is very relaxing..and alot of the time i seem to sort of pass out in that stage into deep deep thoughts..but can never bring any of it back..it's like i go deep into a hallucogenic trance, where my rational mind is no longer intact..impossible things happen there that are difficult to fit back into a rational frameworrk..
So anyway after a heavy peak I went into this next stage..but this time i was sure to make aneffort to be aware of it..and i was able to bring something back from it..
All i can really say is that i found the object..i mean THE object..the thing that seems to stand at the end of time drawing us ever towards it like a tracktor beam..Mckenna was right. History IS the movement towards this thing..i saw it..i felt it..it was PURE SYNESTHESIA..translinustic phenomenon..comlplete mindwarp..nothing there was sensible..and it wasnt sopposed to be..it wasnt sense..it wasn't nonsense..it was more like unsense..
I dont know how the hell else to say it..words just seem to drip off the thing as soon as i try to paint them over it...talk about mindwarp..it almost seems like bufotenine just saves all that for last..that deep trance stage if you get there is where all the real ego dissolving mindwarpy stuff happens..
Its like we are standing back looking at our own reflection in a mirror..we start so far away that we can't recognise it as us..but we are the reflection, and the reflection is us..with each step closer to the thing the picture grows clearer and clearer..history is this decent towards the reflection of the self..towards the realization of the object..it spins in hyperspace casting off glimmers of itself back through time, through history..while simultaniousily giving birth to the historical process itself..
One of those trips that sort of just leaves you drooling on yourself at a loss for words..
And so on to last night!..I had been consuming currey all day long, mass ammounts of it inmultile bowls of soup, couscous, steamed vegetables, everything..right up until 1 hour before i journeyed..I also had abig cup of cocoa tea 1 hour before..now i knew turmeric was an maoi..and thought it had potentiated spice a few times for me..but this was somthing else..combined with the theobromine in the cocoa and the caapi extract adde to the bufotenine..it was just something else..
I did my ceremony, talked my plants and burned incents on my mesa etc etc..blew out all my candles and sat on my couch beside my bed wrapped in a blanket and slowly took 3 hits over abut 5 minutes..I could feel it building..eloquent arabic grids forming behnd closed eyes in rainbow colors..the sense of movement..as if i was flying through it..the nausea wasnt too bad, and subsided a few minutes in..i was at about the stage of maybe 3 grams of cubes visually..so i sat up and took another HUGE hit of the bufotenine caapi mixture and held it and held it..than 1 last hit again before i law back and focussed on the music..
Things started to rotate, to swirl..the grids became 3 dimensional digital alien cyberscapes i was now flying through..strange alien symbols seemed to be the archetecture of this place..it was vast..what was left of my body was vibrating HARD..my mouth was numb.. couldnt feel my teeth..i was dissolving fully into this place..
Some thing massive, something vast became apparent..some type of immense energy structure that seemed to be alive was looming infront of me..i felw into it and through it..this level of visual complexity at this point was AMAZING..for me this blew away anything i have ever witnessed with DMT..i was flying through it so fast, zooming around I started to feel cyber sick..but i couldnt focus onmy body at all, just that i was afraid i was going to vomit on myslef and have no controll..it was still getting deeper and deeper and the mind warp was growing..I was getting confused and somewhat worried..I told myslef to just go with it, to ride it out..and it worked for another minute or so..
But at some point I remember thingking to myself that it was just too much..fuck it i opened my eyes and forced myself to sit up..thinking that it might being it down a level..i leaned forward towards my bucket in case i needed to puke but i didnt..i was very dissorientated and my thoughts felt more like geometric shapes than anything coherant..I was still soo deep in hyperspace..I looked up and my room was not my room at all..it looked like something out of Tron..neon glowing symbolds were spinning on the walls and gleaming alone the floor..thick grids of information were flowing through the air..I felt like i was on a spaceship..
I have a large sort of neon blue tye dye blanket with a big mandala in black that hanges from the ceiling down to the foot of my bed..and it was illuminted by the light flowing through my window..I looked up at it and the geometirc mandala was alive..moving and rotating..in the centre of it was some sort of tech-entity..i started to get very nervous and looked away and rubbedmy eyes and looked back..it was still there..
This thing actually CAME OUT OF THE BLANKET:shock: ..like walked out into the frickin room..it was standing there ammongst all this insane shit going on all around me..i didnt know what the hell to do..to think..i barely even could think..i started to really get nervous and panick..fumbling around i dove into the ouch and burried my head into the pillows trying to hide from this thing..with eyes closed i saw some of the most intricate, colorful, and interesting CEV i have yet to see with anything..the colors were saturated to a degree i didnt even know was possible..everything was spinning and twisting..there were machines beaming light energy into my head..things were swaying and growing like an organic hyperspace forest..words jsut cannot do justice to what I was seeing..
This went on for a good 10 minutes like this..i just sat there with eyes closed breathing through it..once i calmed down i just sat there, in stunned amazment..jaw dropped wondering how the hell i was going to talk about this..knowing very well i lacked the linguistic ability to do so with anyhint of accuracy...
Slowly over the next 30 minutes i made my way back to a relativly normal state with just mild visuals and euphoria left..i took another tiny redose and put on some music and tired to figure out what the hell had just happened to me..
Now, I know my doses..I have dosed bufotenine many many times..I know how strong this batch is..something here was potentiating this..and all i can think of is the mass ammounts of currey..coupled with the theobromine in the cocoa...thats my only explanation..I know that turmeric is an maoi..but i dontknow how much you need to eat for that..but with the moai's already in the mix from the caapi there could have been enought to greatly potentiate the bufotenine to the degree of what i experienced..I wont know for sure though until i doit again:d
This week has been insane psychedelic wise..i had one night of ayahuasca that involved a caapi and mimosa brew, coupled with repeated doses of jimjam changa..and 3 nights of high dose bufotenine changa leading up to my 4th night with bufotenine last night..
Now this batch was VERY concentrated and contained alot of caapi extract as well..and theobromine was involved in all the journeys..
The night before last..my 3rd night with bufotenine had me dumbfounded..there is a stage with bufo where if you take enough, right after the peakof the first stage..there is a second stage, very very close to psilocin..except is very relaxing..and alot of the time i seem to sort of pass out in that stage into deep deep thoughts..but can never bring any of it back..it's like i go deep into a hallucogenic trance, where my rational mind is no longer intact..impossible things happen there that are difficult to fit back into a rational frameworrk..
So anyway after a heavy peak I went into this next stage..but this time i was sure to make aneffort to be aware of it..and i was able to bring something back from it..
All i can really say is that i found the object..i mean THE object..the thing that seems to stand at the end of time drawing us ever towards it like a tracktor beam..Mckenna was right. History IS the movement towards this thing..i saw it..i felt it..it was PURE SYNESTHESIA..translinustic phenomenon..comlplete mindwarp..nothing there was sensible..and it wasnt sopposed to be..it wasnt sense..it wasn't nonsense..it was more like unsense..
I dont know how the hell else to say it..words just seem to drip off the thing as soon as i try to paint them over it...talk about mindwarp..it almost seems like bufotenine just saves all that for last..that deep trance stage if you get there is where all the real ego dissolving mindwarpy stuff happens..
Its like we are standing back looking at our own reflection in a mirror..we start so far away that we can't recognise it as us..but we are the reflection, and the reflection is us..with each step closer to the thing the picture grows clearer and clearer..history is this decent towards the reflection of the self..towards the realization of the object..it spins in hyperspace casting off glimmers of itself back through time, through history..while simultaniousily giving birth to the historical process itself..
One of those trips that sort of just leaves you drooling on yourself at a loss for words..
And so on to last night!..I had been consuming currey all day long, mass ammounts of it inmultile bowls of soup, couscous, steamed vegetables, everything..right up until 1 hour before i journeyed..I also had abig cup of cocoa tea 1 hour before..now i knew turmeric was an maoi..and thought it had potentiated spice a few times for me..but this was somthing else..combined with the theobromine in the cocoa and the caapi extract adde to the bufotenine..it was just something else..
I did my ceremony, talked my plants and burned incents on my mesa etc etc..blew out all my candles and sat on my couch beside my bed wrapped in a blanket and slowly took 3 hits over abut 5 minutes..I could feel it building..eloquent arabic grids forming behnd closed eyes in rainbow colors..the sense of movement..as if i was flying through it..the nausea wasnt too bad, and subsided a few minutes in..i was at about the stage of maybe 3 grams of cubes visually..so i sat up and took another HUGE hit of the bufotenine caapi mixture and held it and held it..than 1 last hit again before i law back and focussed on the music..
Things started to rotate, to swirl..the grids became 3 dimensional digital alien cyberscapes i was now flying through..strange alien symbols seemed to be the archetecture of this place..it was vast..what was left of my body was vibrating HARD..my mouth was numb.. couldnt feel my teeth..i was dissolving fully into this place..
Some thing massive, something vast became apparent..some type of immense energy structure that seemed to be alive was looming infront of me..i felw into it and through it..this level of visual complexity at this point was AMAZING..for me this blew away anything i have ever witnessed with DMT..i was flying through it so fast, zooming around I started to feel cyber sick..but i couldnt focus onmy body at all, just that i was afraid i was going to vomit on myslef and have no controll..it was still getting deeper and deeper and the mind warp was growing..I was getting confused and somewhat worried..I told myslef to just go with it, to ride it out..and it worked for another minute or so..
But at some point I remember thingking to myself that it was just too much..fuck it i opened my eyes and forced myself to sit up..thinking that it might being it down a level..i leaned forward towards my bucket in case i needed to puke but i didnt..i was very dissorientated and my thoughts felt more like geometric shapes than anything coherant..I was still soo deep in hyperspace..I looked up and my room was not my room at all..it looked like something out of Tron..neon glowing symbolds were spinning on the walls and gleaming alone the floor..thick grids of information were flowing through the air..I felt like i was on a spaceship..
I have a large sort of neon blue tye dye blanket with a big mandala in black that hanges from the ceiling down to the foot of my bed..and it was illuminted by the light flowing through my window..I looked up at it and the geometirc mandala was alive..moving and rotating..in the centre of it was some sort of tech-entity..i started to get very nervous and looked away and rubbedmy eyes and looked back..it was still there..
This thing actually CAME OUT OF THE BLANKET:shock: ..like walked out into the frickin room..it was standing there ammongst all this insane shit going on all around me..i didnt know what the hell to do..to think..i barely even could think..i started to really get nervous and panick..fumbling around i dove into the ouch and burried my head into the pillows trying to hide from this thing..with eyes closed i saw some of the most intricate, colorful, and interesting CEV i have yet to see with anything..the colors were saturated to a degree i didnt even know was possible..everything was spinning and twisting..there were machines beaming light energy into my head..things were swaying and growing like an organic hyperspace forest..words jsut cannot do justice to what I was seeing..
This went on for a good 10 minutes like this..i just sat there with eyes closed breathing through it..once i calmed down i just sat there, in stunned amazment..jaw dropped wondering how the hell i was going to talk about this..knowing very well i lacked the linguistic ability to do so with anyhint of accuracy...
Slowly over the next 30 minutes i made my way back to a relativly normal state with just mild visuals and euphoria left..i took another tiny redose and put on some music and tired to figure out what the hell had just happened to me..
Now, I know my doses..I have dosed bufotenine many many times..I know how strong this batch is..something here was potentiating this..and all i can think of is the mass ammounts of currey..coupled with the theobromine in the cocoa...thats my only explanation..I know that turmeric is an maoi..but i dontknow how much you need to eat for that..but with the moai's already in the mix from the caapi there could have been enought to greatly potentiate the bufotenine to the degree of what i experienced..I wont know for sure though until i doit again:d