• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

Dear Mother Aya...

Migrated topic.
B

BeastofBurden

Rising Star
How I found the DMT Nexus:
During New Years, I made a big change in my life: I made a pact with myself to avoid any and all drugs for the rest of my life (I’m 20 years old btw). As much as I had wanted to try shrooms, I decided I must let it go. Herbal hallucinogens were no exception, either. This was completely a personal decision: I thought, “If I truly want to know myself, I need to be myself”. At the time, the only things I knew about DMT was that it was a natural substance we produced to dream but also used as a psychedelic substance. I did some research and eventually found this site thinking I may get around to trying spice. After my first post (a question) it was suggested to me that I try Ayahuasca, a much more mild experience. Btw, I’ve been on this site since January 16th under the name of “DreamingWhileAwake”, then “Forrest”. Mehh, sorry it’s sort of a sentimental thing with me. (This is my very first intro essay as I’ve never actually been a full member.)

Why I’m here:
I seek Mother Aya's guidance/healing of my strange past of loneliness and despair. Because of drug and alcohol choices I made in High School, I don’t remember the significance of my life before my freshman year. I don’t even remember how beautiful the earth is and I take it all for granted in emotional terms. It seems like I just go through the motions when I remark its beauty, and don’t feel it deep inside. If anything, I’m seeking the teachings of Ayahuasca to revive my imagination and to bring back my passion in general. For too long I’ve pushed myself toward the surface view-I think it’s time to see a deeper meaning of life.

What I have to offer:
I've got to say.. DMT Nexus is the most amazing website I've ever stumbled upon. Never in my life, did I imagine I’d wind up in a place like this! I’ve already seen quite a bit of useful information as well as wisdom and I would gladly replace my current friends with you guys *haha* No, I’d never leave them behind. But I sure am glad to have found such a sanctum of good, rational-minded people. And as for me, I'm somewhat knowledgeable in health and fitness and was working on broad but simple guide to share, with the idea being: the healthier and more physically active you are, the greater the DMT benefits/experience. <<This along with a few other thoughts, questions that may spark some interest, who knows?.

I know this was rather lengthy and inadequately written but I am no writer or poet-I’m more of an artist, musician and athlete. Regardless, thanks for reading.
 
I believe Aya can help you find what you seek, I have yet to try it myself but I have smoked dmt on quite a few occasions.

The closest I've come to trying ayahuasca was a few years ago when I combined 3.5 grams of Mushrooms with 4.2 grams of Syrian Rue, not really ayahuasca, but 4-Ho-DMT/4-PO-DMT and an MAOI, so very close but still a whole different animal(for lack of a better word).
It pretty much did for me what you describe you want in your second paragraph. It showed me the beauty deep inside myself, in nature, and what we have built as humanity. As well as all the negativity and evil we have created too. It allowed me to let go of everything and re-build as I needed it, I was able to let go of selfishness/greed/materialism/hate , and concentrate on empathy/love. It was really the most defining moment of my life so far, and help me create the person I am today.
 
That's exactly what I'm going for :) . Sometimes I'm receptive to the possibility that Aya may be so harsh it breaks me to the point where I have to start from scratch. I feel I've built up so much optimism and motivation to reach for my intended purpose in life, that I can't help but worry that it may all go away for the sake of seeing what's beautiful in life.

ms_manic_minxx wrote:
Ayahuasca especially can be an incredible tool for self-reflection.

Sometimes I feel like, in a sense, that it has made me an angrier person--but only because I used to be so bottled up and keep everything inside to the point of being extremely unhealthy. Now when it is healthy for me to express myself, I do (and reasonably, not violently, all that's missing is the sense of self-denial/censorship). It can definitely be amazing for overcoming all kinds of mental/psychological blocks.
Click to expand...

This was addressed to the question I asked a while back... I'm perfectly fine with anger, I'm just hoping I don't end up in a point of no return, as far as my motivation and dreams are concerned. (If that makes sense). Thanks for the reply
 
I doubt you will loose motivation and/or dreams, unless you end up learning that it isn't really what you want from your life.

Would you mind clarifying what you mean by "point of no return", I suppose you mean the same thing when you said "I can't help but worry that it may all go away for the sake of seeing what's beautiful in life." . What exactly are you afraid of happening/loosing?
 
I'm certain this purpose is what I want in life. I've never been so certain about anything in my entire life. The idea of it itself makes any recent hardships worth suffering through. It's not some 'ordinary desire' where I absolutely must have it or else... I am patient, waiting.

Now that I think of it, these possibilities that come to mind are only keeping my beliefs balanced and rational. The positives and negatives sort of keep me on track.

I doubt you will loose motivation and/or dreams, unless you end up learning that it isn't really what you want from your life
Click to expand...

I trust this completely.
 
So it sounds like you are grounded enough not to have to worry about these things.

But still, what do you mean by "point of no return"?
 
Alot of what you build up in life, ayahuasca tends to break down IME..becasue all that stuff you have built up, is just that..stuff. If you really want to move to a new level, than all that stuff needs to be first realized for what it really is, then ..you become a sort of blank person in a sense..receptive in a way that is not possible for me to really describe here it needs to go..although persoanlly I think that tends to come after periods of repeated use of ayahuasca in combination with a clean diet. Drinking once can definatily show you places that you need to work on etc, and you might feel completely healed the next day, but there is always more..and then more..

It is impossible to avoid any and all drugs, since all foods are basically drugs..your nervous system is basically addicted to so many different drugs you ingest in your daily diet that you couldnt ever avoid it, like sugar. I understand what you are saying though.

You are worried about loosing motivation, I get that..but really that is something itself that you have built up and you should really think about that and accept that ayahuasca might change your motivation for sure..she is definatily good at that. Motivation is a good thing in many cases, in others I dont think it is so much, but when it becomes something that you grasp at afraid to let go of, I would say it warrants a second look. Be prepared to face these sort of things if you plan on working with these plant masters.
 
Shrabbit420 said:
So it sounds like you are grounded enough not to have to worry about these things.

But still, what do you mean by "point of no return"?
Click to expand...

Oop, I sidetracked a little. Well, I've noticed several people who have said they wished they never tried DMT/aya in the first place. By saying "a point of no return", I meant the motivation/optimism sort and that I may never feel this way (motivation wise) again after first contact with Aya. I believe I'm past this now, for sure - On some nights within the last few months I have just been so eager to have a taste and see.. what all the buzz is about.

It is impossible to avoid any and all drugs, since all foods are basically drugs..your nervous system is basically addicted to so many different drugs you ingest in your daily diet that you couldnt ever avoid it, like sugar. I understand what you are saying though.
Click to expand...
haha, of course. I was being too specific. If I have the choice to avoid a something that's possibly addictive, harmful, unnecessary then I will avoid it. Although there will be several times a year where I drink a nice cup of caffeinated coffee. MMMMMMMM, my favorite.
 
I see what you mean now.

It really just depends on how you interpret what you went through. The last time I smoked DMT I had a very harrowing experience, it literally scared me away from it for some time, its a little over a year now and I'm just now starting to get ready to ease myself back into it. But I learned something valuable that night, and in no way do I regret what happened. It also taught me how much respect this substance deserves, and how much care needs to be taken when diving into its waters.

I'm almost in the same position (thought wise) when it comes to Aya, I'm actually scared of the intensity that it may have. But when I think back to other intense experiences I've had, such as the shrooms+Syrian Rue, I realize there is nothing to fear, and the bliss that accompanies the trip alone may make it worth it. I will be trying Aya soon, thanks to all the great information the nexus has taught me about it.
 
I was being too specific
Click to expand...
I meant I wasn't being specific enough. "any and all drugs" = "drugs when necessary or unavoidable" 😉

Shrabbit, I look forward to hearing about your Aya experience, whenever that may be. If things work out here, I'd say I will meet the mother within a month... and you can expect to hear from me.
 
^^^_^^^ said:
I do not think entheogens can be in any possibile case deemed 'drugs'.
Click to expand...
Right, and to clarify a bit, I screwed up this statement several times: "I stopped the use of any and all drugs." Here's what I meant: No drugs/substances with the exception of DMT, occasional or unavoidable use of caffeine, and drugs I need if I'm sick, injured, hospitalized, etc.. To me, DMT is just a substance, and it's not a "drug" we produce every night when we go to sleep. It's simply a chemical with a huge potential for self-healing. Somewhat like weed. I no longer smoke, because when I was I was using it as a drug, not a medicine. There is no "just once a month" for me. Also, the morning after I smoked a wormwood fatty, which was in Jan., I felt like smoking more-It was amazing! Even though thujone is just a chemical/substance it has the potential for abuse and that is all I'm avoiding.
 
Back
Top Bottom