I believe Aya can help you find what you seek, I have yet to try it myself but I have smoked dmt on quite a few occasions.

The closest I've come to trying ayahuasca was a few years ago when I combined 3.5 grams of Mushrooms with 4.2 grams of Syrian Rue, not really ayahuasca, but 4-Ho-DMT/4-PO-DMT and an MAOI, so very close but still a whole different animal(for lack of a better word).

It pretty much did for me what you describe you want in your second paragraph. It showed me the beauty deep inside myself, in nature, and what we have built as humanity. As well as all the negativity and evil we have created too. It allowed me to let go of everything and re-build as I needed it, I was able to let go of selfishness/greed/materialism/hate , and concentrate on empathy/love. It was really the most defining moment of my life so far, and help me create the person I am today.