Alot of what you build up in life, ayahuasca tends to break down IME..becasue all that stuff you have built up, is just that..stuff. If you really want to move to a new level, than all that stuff needs to be first realized for what it really is, then ..you become a sort of blank person in a sense..receptive in a way that is not possible for me to really describe here it needs to go..although persoanlly I think that tends to come after periods of repeated use of ayahuasca in combination with a clean diet. Drinking once can definatily show you places that you need to work on etc, and you might feel completely healed the next day, but there is always more..and then more..

It is impossible to avoid any and all drugs, since all foods are basically drugs..your nervous system is basically addicted to so many different drugs you ingest in your daily diet that you couldnt ever avoid it, like sugar. I understand what you are saying though.

You are worried about loosing motivation, I get that..but really that is something itself that you have built up and you should really think about that and accept that ayahuasca might change your motivation for sure..she is definatily good at that. Motivation is a good thing in many cases, in others I dont think it is so much, but when it becomes something that you grasp at afraid to let go of, I would say it warrants a second look. Be prepared to face these sort of things if you plan on working with these plant masters.