Death µ~∞ First Post

[transitory]

Death µ~∞


Hello,

First post- just needed to get this out there before it fades.

Time stood still.

No time.

Frozen.

Literally.

Everything rapidly went beyond weird.

They are real. I apologised for ever doubting them to be real.

I placed the pipe down and then decided to place the pipe down.

I sat back in the lotus position then decided to sit back.

Space and everything in it collapsed around me into a size smaller than my head.





I swear that I took just three breaths in five minutes.

This was not pleasant

This was not enlightenment this was death.

You can go no further unless you accept death of all and everything and self.

I did not wish to die. Really die.

It wasn't so much that there was fear of dying- more that it didn't seem to be the right thing to do.

That was the ending of all time and space.

That was the edge of the universe.

I am both glad and surprised to be alive.

Strange and weird are just words.

Language does not exist there.

Space and time themselves end there.

The only explanation for the freezing of time is death.

I just died.

OMFG WTF was that?

I feel very much as though I have just been beaten up in Hyperspace.

Head out of the car window at 140 mph stuff - roller-coaster.

That was one rough ride.

The clock was both frozen and morphing and had no meaning (or hands).

There was no concept of time passing.

At one point there was silence.

the room within, garden without, wall at the end and sky beyond were f l a t

F L A T as in minutely detailed and candy-coloured hyper-real but existing only in a single plane.

No 3D depth at all such as one might imagine the highest possible resolution photograph.

As my investigative faculties returned the only possible interpretation seemed to be the ending of the universe.

My universe at least.


My intelligence seems increased, sharpened.

My brain was completely scrambled.

Yes I wanted it to end, yes I want to go again.

~ 100mg and by the 4th toke it was uncertain what the pipe was, where 'I' was or what was occurring let alone why.

45 minutes now. Still weird.

Infinity is not the boundless time which we imagine it to be.

Infinity is outside of time where there is no time.


Thank you for your time and attention - I love you all.

µ~∞

GIVE UP WHAT YOU THINK TO BE EVERYTHING AND YOU WILL BE GIVEN EVERYTHING....

...you have to TRUST the experience to deliver what you need. Whether it be pleasant or not..

 

[Buster]

very nice read. welcome

 

[antrocles]

yes....time is a construct of the ego...used to keep itself busy dwelling on a past or anticipating a future. both of which require the ego to keep itself well intact. the infinite..the timeless....it is possible to learn to work with the spice at least to the extent that an absolute willingness to completely let go with no clinging to time can be achieved. i have had hundreds of breakthrough journeys at this point...an ability to surrender has certainly gotten stronger in me since my first journey. that being said, i still have to take a dump right before i smoke the spice EVERY TIME....

....i call it "a healthy respect". this sacrament is the real deal. powerful beyond our understanding.....thanks for your post my brother. welcome

LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!

 

[transitory]

Thank you Buster and antrocles for your warm welcome:d

It means a very great deal to me.

....it is possible to learn to work with the spice at least to the extent that an absolute willingness to completely let go with no clinging to time can be achieved.​

The above comment from one so experienced fills me with hope- I have indeed been developing more of a 'feel' for hyperspace. I am coming to see that preparation, countdown, blastoff, orbit and re-entry are an art. To describe the journey afterwards is something of a post-event press conference-all dumb questions and sound-bites. No longer the real deal, one can only point to the fading, candy-frosted vapour trail and say "she was there! don't you see?"

As for your "healthy respect" antrocles;- I fully concur! in my limited experience the spice has struck me as God's own laxative!

Although I achieved substantial personal development from my NDE I think that I must have messed up the time and dose somewhat. The ride was too rough. To put not too fine a point on it; The spice kicked my ass! I have since been again. This time completely different.

I've just been visited- She's very real. She flipped me about like mirrors in a fun house. She flipped consciousness itself about. She seemed able to switch me on and off- only God can do that. She left me a beautiful gift. I'm not quite sure what it is. She has left a beautiful trail of candy-land in her wake. Everything effervesces, everything feels and breaths like it's make of sugar. The sound of my own voice echoes beautifully in the air. Everything is so light- with ghostings around it.

Here is the message: as I entered, there was a recollection and and a realisation of 'I remember now, I remember you!' And she is very real. I remembered her from the past- she was real. She then commenced to play with not me or the room but everything- the room was me- no external v internal reality, just the very stuff of consciousness itself. The 3D room existed within my head. She showed me that our consensus reality is constructed within us. It is not described from without but from within. I do not doubt that our constructed reality must be in step with external stimuli in order for us to physically survive. But that concurrence with external, scientifically verifiable objects does not make consciousness more real. Consciousness simply IS what it is and I have a feeling that it cares not at all what science thinks of it!

Also, out in the garden She had a presence asking me to "look!, look!, see what I can do!, see what I can do here/there!". And I looked and she did some flipping about with 'reality' causing things to appear/disappear, re-appear transformed.

There's proof. There's proof God exists- She came to me. She showed me- She switched me on and off!

I thought to her: 'prove, prove that you exist[as an independent entity], prove that you exist, prove it', and the answer is- She turns round and She says to you: "I will prove then disprove you" and She did. She danced through me, She showed me myself through Her eyes. She annihilated then resurrected me.

And yet She was Love. She played with existence as though it were Her toy but there was no harm there. I felt no threat. I have been visited by God. I have. The candy-land rapture remains. A state of Grace.

Another thing which I remember: She is Holy. Holy be Her name. She is not of the imagination. She is external to 'me'. She is the ground of me. She is my source and being. She is me. Now I understand: She is me. Everything which I can think of as me, anything which I may conceive or dream. I am not more than the tip of the sugar-sweet crystaly iceberg. Is that who I really am? because that is akin to saying I am God. That's not true. Could it be seen the other way; 'God is me?'

Where the ego is not-She is.

She's real- She was in amongst me, everything in the room, everything in the world and She could do as She wished with it all. And She did. It was like being possessed by an entity, but She is Holy. She is me, She is Lord.

Real, real, real.
I have been visited and She is Holy.

She does not judge me.

Therefore do not judge yourself. Ever.

The world is freely given to us to do with as we wish.

There is no guilt, fear, regret.

The spice appears to me as a temptress and a tease. Always there is the intimation of something more, something other.



Love

 

[Spiced]

Wow, that was great to read, i was there with you, being stoned contributed to that feeling.

I only experienced real ego death, like you experienced, on a high dose of mushrooms, i'm still underestimating the real powers of DMT, since i never had a real breakthrough yet, only visual blissfulness.

I completely understand why you did those weird characters, allways while tripping those ideas pop up, when using a computer it's like a whole new world of infinite unique possibilities to express yourself to the max.

Like you suddenly got a whole lot more intelligent, and got a way more unique interesting and more complex identy then when just on normal, different, less mindwave frequencies and you feel over excited to exploit that emotion.

But DMT did not kick my ass yet, it was allways sweet and extremely gentle to me, no matter how hard i begged for it to completely sodomize my neurotransmitters.



One day i will probably get kicked so hard, that the next time i'll think about using it again, i'll walk to my fridge with a very tiny heart, to pull out the bag of magic dust like a small child that walks to his closset in a dark room, alone, expecting a huge terrifying monster in there. :d



Wow, Antrocles, you kinda frighten me for what awaits me, the rollercoaster is that huge huh? :d

I have a lot of respect for such great courage!

 

[transitory]

Spiced,

I don't want my ass kicking any more!

That was unfortunate.

If the spice is 'always sweet and extremely gentle' and 'shows you visual blissfulness' then that is exactly where you may need to be now. After all, how could there be a problem with bringing heaven down to earth?:d

I spent quite some time purposefully experimenting with sub-breakthrough doses and I learnt a great deal.

There is so much work that can be done sub-breakthrough. So much can be revealed there that is relevant to our daily consensus reality. I know that many experienced travellers prefer sub-breakthrough.

I have, of late, been experimenting with higher doses. Next week I may not.


The spice herself will tease and beckon you in her own sweet time.


Love

 

[Spiced]

Haha!
I love how you've put that! :d

But i read so much experience stories that i can't think anything else but; wow, this stuff is so utterly powerfull, i wan't to experience it, i wan't to go through that door and see a glimpse of that other part of consciousness, i want to understand more, this comes from a very frequent dreamer, i dream pretty lucid dreams every single day, sometimes very powerfull dreams, that haunt me for long periods of time, often pretty dark, but sometimes facinating dreams.

If DMT really has a connection with dreaming then i like to explore that world further, i wan't to try and figure out how different conscious life really is from dreaming life, for myself, i know i won't figure that out, ever, but i want to understand just a little more.

And i have a slight idea that the difference is really not that big afterall, maybe life is just fiction, a more real illusion, the most convincing illusion of them all.

DMT is some kind of a connection to the wonders of illusion/dreams for me.
Plus it's all so facinating, why do we see those beautiful patterns, isn't it amazing, it must have a purpose, all this beauty, it shows a new path to walk, we just have to keep following that path i guess.

 

[USWEYOUME]

Thanks Trans. Our defeats are def our best teacher in a long-term sense. Yeah, i can feel your confusion from a crazy exp like that, i had a very similliar trip and i was very bewildered on the fact that i was in a good mood, open minded... and i still had a crazy dark, negative trip. But i think sometimes spice and your sub-conscious, after making nothing but positives with your climbs, The sub-conscious seems to maybe throw a wrench in your system just to give you a flash that this is powerful and you don't want to see the dark side of it. And its sooo powerful that you can end up reflecting on it for days or even weeks.. It took me almost 2 weeks to completely feel calming from my reflection and not dark confusion of a negative aspect of my own inner self. I have no negative mind set, but i think it can show that this is where your mind can end up when your thoughts are lack luster.

After 2 weeks of reflection my next Re-Entry was Me Leaped frog completely past my last experience and brought me to a whole nother level. Just remember, We are shown exactly what we needed to be see at that time of entry with the attitude of psyche of self.

I hope people see these awesome posts on the negative side, and are encouraged to post their own if any dark experiences.

 

[transitory]

Spiced,

i wan't to experience it, i wan't to go through that door ...​

You may find that the door goes through you.

There is less travelling outward more inward.

...and see a glimpse of that other part of consciousness​

Difficult to express, this one. You could say that it's more likely that you'll find another part of consciousness glimpsing you. I'm not just trying to play with words- it's just so DIFFICULT to express this stuff. The experience itself is direct and will be immediately understood as is. It may involve 'out of body' or 'out of mind' perspective.

wow, this stuff is so utterly powerfull​

As antrocles said; "this sacrament is the real deal. powerful beyond our understanding"

maybe life is just fiction, a more real illusion, the most convincing illusion of them all.​

Of course. Sensory inputs from the external world enter the brain. Consciousness of this external world is a mental construct (not the direct experience of 'objective' reality). To again quote antrocles: "...time is a construct of the ego...used to keep itself busy dwelling on a past or anticipating a future." You cannot step outside and point out 'the future' now can you? - it is indeed a fiction.

... i dream pretty lucid dreams ... that haunt me for long periods of time, often pretty dark​

If the past and future (as expressed in your dreams)can appear dark then may I suggest that your mental process has created both? The present, the now, may not be dark at all. What is happening now? Is the past interfering? Does the mind escape to an imagined future? Why? Does the mind feel secure with what it knows (past)? The ego-act of creating the future = escape = fear?



USWEYOUME

After 2 weeks of reflection my next Re-Entry was Me Leaped frog completely past my last experience and brought me to a whole other level. Just remember, We are shown exactly what we needed to see at that time of entry with the attitude of psyche of self.​

Thanks mate, This is important to remember. The spice surprises me always- we all try to stack the odds in our favour but I have had 'psychedelic car crash' experiences from a good set & setting and 'transcendental' experiences from a poor set & setting.

The sub-conscious is interesting. When spicing, I have experienced some very odd events where I would perform an action before making a conscious decision to do so. As though the top-most rational ego part of the mind is a passenger rather than driver of our vessel and this information is normally hidden from us for the sake of sanity and efficient functioning in the world.


I have, of late, had this strong and genuine suspicion that to see ourselves as we actually are may be the most disturbing alien vision of all.:shock:



Love

 

[teotenakeltje]

You expressed it very nicely, i just came back an hour ago from the craziest and most terrifying trip of my life (first breakthrough) Experiencing death (can't find a better way to describe it) is very humbling indeed...But the strangest part of it was that i had the impression of being somewhere with someone or something around me doing things but not having the smallest clue what! I hope that next time i'm more aware of things...could it be that i did to much?i think so...PEACE

 

[transitory]

teotenakeltje

Yes! For me too there is now always a presence and always an activity. They/it are doing something. I do not believe that my mind is simply creating a fantasy. If that were the case then surely my mind would create a plausible scenario and have a meaningful activity take place there? What is taking place - what they are doing - is often not understood. This is not like dreaming.

I know when I'm awake and I know when someone/something's there. :shock:


I think that it is possible to do too much.I'm still perfecting my inhalation method after almost a month.

I sometimes misfire

I sometimes break through 8)

I sometimes detonate :twisted:

 

[teotenakeltje]

Exactly transitory,
it definitly was not an "i'm dreaming" feeling it was way to "real" but real isn't the right word,more like "out of this world" But the overall feeling was "man...what in the world happened...where am i...shit..i hope not for ever...i'm dying or so...must be...what is all the exitement for...strange small creatures...my girlfriend...my daughter...i want to be alive..."