Thanks guys, House. I knew I could count on you folks.

Thanks. I felt a relief the instant I made this thread. And I feel fine, really. Not weirder than normal. The following is just for information because I feel fine. I decided to adhere to it as a spirit and ask what it wants from me. African dream root has been very useful for night-time relaxation. I will try Kirkii as well. And do more mindfulness meditation.

But again, I feel mostly fine..

Except only in moments of weakness i am overtaken by paranoia. For instance, Friday morning I had little sleep and had a hard time waking up. I almost skipped school and i am sure I would have felt guilt. What happened was that I felt a spider sit on top of my head in your typical rainbow-coloured mushroom visual sort of way. As if anticipating my guilt and ready to feed on me. It turns out that when I got out of bed that school was closed anyway. But had i lied in bed I would have certainly had nightmares and guilt for hours.

This was the day after I tried visualizing Chakras. And a force in my heart chakra kept sucking back into my heart even though I forcefully tried to visualize for it to leave. It is a little frustrating because something is in control of my imagination. I should be able to imagine whatever the hell I want, no?

In 2013 I had a dream when moving to a new place that a spider traveled with me in the Jar which I typically use to store my DMT. I had nightmares for weeks at that time. Sometimes involving a spider. So the spider seems to be a typical symbol. I commonly feel that a spider is sitting on the sides of my head when I smoke cannabis. Especially when feeling anxious. Higher dose of cannabis is even worse and it slightly puts me back in the mind-state and hallucinations I saw the first time I met it on DMT.

Thanks again, guys. And sorry for the paranoid rant earlier. I wonder if anyone knowledgable can speak on the safety of high-dose Ketamine considering my state of mind? My dreams seemed to indicate an overcoming of fear by taking it.