Thanks. It's like my thoughts are too demanding for myself. "Do not smoke" "Eat healthy 100% of the time" "Be perfect". All these commands are turning haywire at some point I just have to say to myself that I am in command and disobeying an order is not the end of the world.

I found that during the evening my mind is much more clear if i turn off all artificial lights. It's like there's two 'demons' in me. One that is in control during the day and one in the evening. It starts to go bad pretty quickly if I let the day-time demon spend enough time in me by messing up the Melatonin cycle. I wonder if one of them is my subconscious ego.