Aimless_Wanderer
Rising Star
INTRODUCTION AND GREETING
Hello, everyone. Although I am newly registered and this is my first post, I have been viewing this site for over a year. Members of this forum seem very knowledgeable, and I hope you will share that knowledge to help me understand my first breakthrough on DMT, which was the most terrifying experience of my life.
SUMMARY AND BACKGROUND
As I write this, it is Friday 8/29/2025 at approximately 10:20 PM. At 8:00 PM I drank a cup of MAOI tea made from 3g of Syrian rue seeds steeped in boiling water. At 9:00 PM I injected 75mg of DMT dissolved in 10ml of 0.6% acetic acid solution. As a result, I did not see cute playful elves dancing around me. I literally thought I died and was trapped in my own personal Hell.
Before the more experienced psychonauts on this forum ridicule me as a “newbie,” let me say that I have some experience with psychedelics. My journey began just over a year ago, in June 2024, with my first cubensis mushroom trip. Since that time, I have had many vivid, beautiful trips on B+ cubes and more profound, therapeutic trips on Golden Teachers. I have met the Jester, and he has guided me through the most joyous and traumatic times in my life causing me to both laugh giddily and sob uncontrollably.
In my last encounter with the Jester, he told me he had nothing more to show me, and he asked if I understood his teachings. Yes, I understood. The Jester was me. He was my Shadow. My dark side. The part of myself I kept hidden from the world for fear of societal rejection. He grinned in approval of my understanding, and he morphed from his clown shape into a mirror image of me. He then dissolved into particles that flowed into me. In his final words he told me, “I am one with you, now. You are ready for the next step in your journey.”
I interpreted this as my ego death, and I continued my cubensis journey with progressively higher doses, even adding MAOI tea to enhance the effect, but I never achieved a breakthrough as described in many trip reports.
After reading dozens of online DMT trip reports, I decided it was time to try the Spirit Molecule. I first tried vaporizing with no success. I opted to try intramuscular injection of DMT in solution, beginning with 35mg and increasing the dosage to 45, 55 and 65mg. The visuals were more intense with each higher dose, but I still did not achieve a breakthrough.
Tonight, I was determined to achieve a breakthrough, so I consumed the Syrian Rue tea and injected 75mg DMT. The following trip report describes the subsequent 33 minutes, as best I can put it into words.
TRIP REPORT
As I laid in my bed, the visuals came faster and more intensely than before, I assumed due to the addition of the tea. These visuals were not bright and beautiful as with B+ cubes, but were dark and ominous. My heart began to pound furiously, and I became terrified that I had made a horrible mistake.
The visuals intensified such that they were not just hallucinations. They became my reality. It did not matter if my eyes were open or closed. The visuals remained the same. I was in total darkness with these ominous geometric images swirling around me.
I realized that I could no longer feel my heartbeat. I truly believed that I had suffered a heart attack and that I was dead, now trapped in this psychedelic purgatory. I was still fully aware, and my senses were fully functional. I could feel that I was in my bed, and I could feel the blanket and pillow beneath me. I could feel and taste the dryness in my mouth. I could hear myself as I spoke aloud, begging for this to end.
Paradoxically, I could still sense time, but time lost all meaning. The thought entered my mind that, if I was dead, this was my eternity. I began to scream, “I’m sorry! I made a terrible mistake! I understand that, now! Please let this end!” There was no response, and I began to panic. I continued to scream, begging for mercy and an end to the torment. From my perspective at the time, I was screaming into a void. I now realize that my neighbors must have heard me, and I am fortunate they did not send the police to my residence.
After screaming for several “minutes” as I could sense time, I became desperate to escape. Clutching the edge of the blanket so I could find my way back to the bed if necessary, I stepped to the floor and inched forward feeling for the nearest bedroom wall. After several steps forward, my hand made contact with the wall. From there, I found the door frame and the door handle. I opened the door and, to my relief, dim light entered from the living room. If I was dead, at least I was not trapped in eternal darkness.
I stumbled to the refrigerator and quenched my parched tongue with ice water. This was another welcome sign. I would not suffer from eternal thirst.
I made my way to the living room and collapsed into the recliner. The clock read 9:24 PM. I began calculating numbers correlating DMT doses to trip durations. My 65mg trip lasted approximately 20 minutes. The higher dose plus the addition for the MAOI could double the duration of this trip, potentially even more.
I stared at the clock as the minutes ticked past. At 9:33 PM I began to feel the familiar sensation of a come-down. As I write this, I am fully recovered from the trip.
At this point, I ask everyone to please withhold judgement and perhaps provide some insight. Was this experience a TRUE ego death? Is this a rite of passage or “trial by fire” that must be experienced before entering the world described by Terrence McKenna? Or, is this a dire warning from the DMT entities for me to stay away from their realm?
At 9:40 PM I would have sworn that I would never touch DMT again. Now that I have fully recovered, my intellectual curiosity has reared its head, and I wonder if future experiences might be different.
After this experience, I will be taking a hiatus from psychedelics. When the time comes, I will continue my journey with cubensis at pleasantly hallucinogenic doses. However, the thought of a parallel dimension accessible via DMT remains fascinating.
Thanks for reading. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Hello, everyone. Although I am newly registered and this is my first post, I have been viewing this site for over a year. Members of this forum seem very knowledgeable, and I hope you will share that knowledge to help me understand my first breakthrough on DMT, which was the most terrifying experience of my life.
SUMMARY AND BACKGROUND
As I write this, it is Friday 8/29/2025 at approximately 10:20 PM. At 8:00 PM I drank a cup of MAOI tea made from 3g of Syrian rue seeds steeped in boiling water. At 9:00 PM I injected 75mg of DMT dissolved in 10ml of 0.6% acetic acid solution. As a result, I did not see cute playful elves dancing around me. I literally thought I died and was trapped in my own personal Hell.
Before the more experienced psychonauts on this forum ridicule me as a “newbie,” let me say that I have some experience with psychedelics. My journey began just over a year ago, in June 2024, with my first cubensis mushroom trip. Since that time, I have had many vivid, beautiful trips on B+ cubes and more profound, therapeutic trips on Golden Teachers. I have met the Jester, and he has guided me through the most joyous and traumatic times in my life causing me to both laugh giddily and sob uncontrollably.
In my last encounter with the Jester, he told me he had nothing more to show me, and he asked if I understood his teachings. Yes, I understood. The Jester was me. He was my Shadow. My dark side. The part of myself I kept hidden from the world for fear of societal rejection. He grinned in approval of my understanding, and he morphed from his clown shape into a mirror image of me. He then dissolved into particles that flowed into me. In his final words he told me, “I am one with you, now. You are ready for the next step in your journey.”
I interpreted this as my ego death, and I continued my cubensis journey with progressively higher doses, even adding MAOI tea to enhance the effect, but I never achieved a breakthrough as described in many trip reports.
After reading dozens of online DMT trip reports, I decided it was time to try the Spirit Molecule. I first tried vaporizing with no success. I opted to try intramuscular injection of DMT in solution, beginning with 35mg and increasing the dosage to 45, 55 and 65mg. The visuals were more intense with each higher dose, but I still did not achieve a breakthrough.
Tonight, I was determined to achieve a breakthrough, so I consumed the Syrian Rue tea and injected 75mg DMT. The following trip report describes the subsequent 33 minutes, as best I can put it into words.
TRIP REPORT
As I laid in my bed, the visuals came faster and more intensely than before, I assumed due to the addition of the tea. These visuals were not bright and beautiful as with B+ cubes, but were dark and ominous. My heart began to pound furiously, and I became terrified that I had made a horrible mistake.
The visuals intensified such that they were not just hallucinations. They became my reality. It did not matter if my eyes were open or closed. The visuals remained the same. I was in total darkness with these ominous geometric images swirling around me.
I realized that I could no longer feel my heartbeat. I truly believed that I had suffered a heart attack and that I was dead, now trapped in this psychedelic purgatory. I was still fully aware, and my senses were fully functional. I could feel that I was in my bed, and I could feel the blanket and pillow beneath me. I could feel and taste the dryness in my mouth. I could hear myself as I spoke aloud, begging for this to end.
Paradoxically, I could still sense time, but time lost all meaning. The thought entered my mind that, if I was dead, this was my eternity. I began to scream, “I’m sorry! I made a terrible mistake! I understand that, now! Please let this end!” There was no response, and I began to panic. I continued to scream, begging for mercy and an end to the torment. From my perspective at the time, I was screaming into a void. I now realize that my neighbors must have heard me, and I am fortunate they did not send the police to my residence.
After screaming for several “minutes” as I could sense time, I became desperate to escape. Clutching the edge of the blanket so I could find my way back to the bed if necessary, I stepped to the floor and inched forward feeling for the nearest bedroom wall. After several steps forward, my hand made contact with the wall. From there, I found the door frame and the door handle. I opened the door and, to my relief, dim light entered from the living room. If I was dead, at least I was not trapped in eternal darkness.
I stumbled to the refrigerator and quenched my parched tongue with ice water. This was another welcome sign. I would not suffer from eternal thirst.
I made my way to the living room and collapsed into the recliner. The clock read 9:24 PM. I began calculating numbers correlating DMT doses to trip durations. My 65mg trip lasted approximately 20 minutes. The higher dose plus the addition for the MAOI could double the duration of this trip, potentially even more.
I stared at the clock as the minutes ticked past. At 9:33 PM I began to feel the familiar sensation of a come-down. As I write this, I am fully recovered from the trip.
At this point, I ask everyone to please withhold judgement and perhaps provide some insight. Was this experience a TRUE ego death? Is this a rite of passage or “trial by fire” that must be experienced before entering the world described by Terrence McKenna? Or, is this a dire warning from the DMT entities for me to stay away from their realm?
At 9:40 PM I would have sworn that I would never touch DMT again. Now that I have fully recovered, my intellectual curiosity has reared its head, and I wonder if future experiences might be different.
After this experience, I will be taking a hiatus from psychedelics. When the time comes, I will continue my journey with cubensis at pleasantly hallucinogenic doses. However, the thought of a parallel dimension accessible via DMT remains fascinating.
Thanks for reading. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
