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DMT & Fear...How do YOU deal with it?

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GreatArc

GreatArc

Rising Star
I am very mindful of Set & Setting, and do a great deal of emotional and physical preparation before taking psychedelics. I have had a few nightmarish experiences which I immediately felt very good for having undergone and put them in their place as healthy learning experiences, even regard them as necessary positive experiences to feel more confident and comfortable that I had ought not fear them.

I have found that this kind of confidence and comfort with ego death, the mysterious and alien realm of psychedelics in general, and with emotional vulnerability have been key to allowing myself to explore some very high doses of LSD and Psilocybin. Many of the lessons learned on difficult trips have allowed me to navigate through even distressing sub-breakthrough doses of DMT (where there was still a me to feel distress or anything else).

But, Wow! DMT is not like anything else. Taking 10-20g doses of potent Cubensis or 500+ microgram doses of LSD compared with high/breakthrough dose DMT is like the difference between being hit by a pillow and being hit by a meteor.

Anyhow, my point is, that unlike any other drug where there is an appreciable onset and I can repeatedly reassure myself this is just the drugs taking over and that I am going deeper and deeper, I find myself anxious and slightly panicked when trying to get in the second hit. I often forget why I am doing this, how there is no going back, what happens if I want it to stop, and a short burst of doubt/distress/negativity that I don't want to have, as I believe it predisposes one for a fearful or less enjoyable experience.

I hear that it is almost universal to have this flashing moment of doubt or reluctance when it comes time to actually start inhaling, and I wonder what you do about this? My friend has a couple of drinks of alcohol before to remove inhibitions and take advantage of his 'liquid courage', which would have seemed anathema to me before, but I am starting to wonder if there could be method to his madness? Tried meditation, have all sorts of healthy exercises and rituals for strong well-being and open excitement and curiosity for the new experience I am going to have, but nothing seems to be able to work at the actual moment of praxis, where I'd like it the most.

Any thoughts, advice, personal insights would be incredibly valuable...

Thanks in advance,
-GA
 
Some people find that pre dosing with some form of harmala alkaloids before hand calms the jitters and also makes you need less of a dose to break through.
 
Some harmalas up front can help sometimes . Experience can help too but even with that you can still get your but kicked hard . Some tricks up your sleeve for when things get tough . Deep breathing,
Chanting , rhythmic movement . The best experiences are ones where you trust it and have no fear . It's pretty normal to be afraid.
A good sense of humor is key . You can't take this too seriously .
 
Anonymous said:
There comes a time when all you're running on are spit and prayers...

...and then you run out of spit.
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Baptism By Fire is my lifestyle. I believe that the most effective means of learning is by doing/practicing.

Also, I agree with everyone else: FFS just make changa with it and smoalk it through a GB. The Leidenfrost effect allows the DMT/Harmalas to be effectively vaporized, even when exposed to high levels of heat. A good 1:2:1 (e.g. 1g DMT: 2g Caapi Leaf: 1g Harmalas) blend is the most user-friendly blend, IMO, as the harmalas seem to make the DMT more tame. Some way, some how, The Harmalas seem to harness the energies of the spice, allowing for a more ayahuasca-esque journey into The Great Beyond Within, in which every entity has something to say, or some act to play, just for you. The Harmalas write and illuminate inner parabols, facilitating better insight into the self. DMT is the lightning which Tells Their Tales.

Rant = Over
 
I've never gotten over the fear/apprehension before DMT and I don't think I ever will. Seems to be part of the process and given how quickly you're removed from anything familiar it makes sense.

Alcohol does allow you to be a little less terrified, though drinking too much and trying to break through in a drunken state has led to me being ejected from the other place, and rightly so :/ Live and learn, moderation in all things, but I don't see a problem with a small amount of alcohol.

Another member linked me this, which let me focus on my intentions and sort of 'give in' and truth be told it did make a hell of a difference. Repeating it over and over lets that 'whatever's going to happen is going to happen' mindset more inevitable and less fearful. Meditation I could imagine having the same benefit but not something I've tried pre-journey, but couldn't hurt.

I wonder if it would be so powerful though if there was nothing you had to overcome to get there - the value in overcoming great hurdles to earn the great reward. Anyway, good luck and happy travels :)
 
I totally understand you.

You might try just taking one massive hit, after that there's no turning back. Meditate a couple of minutes beforehand and than just go for it, don't think about it.

Or you could take a light dose of mushrooms to gently break the ice so to speak.

JUST DO IT!
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I don't have as much experience with DMT as many on this site. That being said, every time I put the DMT pipe to my lips I get the same feelings I would have if I were to go cliff diving. Full white knuckle experience. I like to say the difference between LSD and DMT's intensity can be compared to the difference between LSD and Nicotine's intensity.
 
Sorry I didn't answer your question. How do I deal with it, close your eyes and jump. Take so much that there is no turning back.
 
I should add that my sitter and I have been exploring the DMT realm with 100-110mg doses which have allowed us access to mystery and astonishment beyond all calculation or comprehension. At this point, returning is like summoning the courage each time to will yourself to jump into a tankful of ravenous crocodiles and know there's going to be a tough minute getting there. It takes a lot to commit once you know what it is like to have the life ripped out of your body and hurled so far past the gates of death, past the next dimension and into the one after that.

At a certain point, guts don't enter into it. It takes crazy.
 
For me - taking multiple tokes within a short time frame - that for me always leaves room for resistance, for doubt, time to back peddle in my mind etc :D. I try my hardest to get the entire dose quickly. With that method - definitely start small and work up, but learning to get the dose done in one full hit ime/imo has been key, because near every time - doing it in that way pretty much completely suspends any potential response I might have, it becomes so fast, so rapid and enveloping - within a handful of seconds I'm 't-h-e-r-e', a fast and clean break. It pretty much suspends any possible fear or thoughts I might have - me and my worries/reactions become a water droplet getting released into the sun.

And another thing I'd posted several days back has some relevance to what we're discussing:

tatt said:
Another thing I would use often is some sort of rhythmic, repetitive music [something preferably uplifting, melodic, or even something downtempo and soft yet repetitive]. I agree with the camp that music can be a hindrance, depending on the situation, though it's seemed to really help for me leading up to the experience - and in specific situations has driven the experience [but this is going outside the scope of this thread I think].

As I'm sitting there, not really thinking of anything, slightly nervous though not really thinking on 'oh my god im about to do this' I'll usually start the song, and I start to zone into the song, the rhythm, the lyrics[?], just totally get into the music, lose all awareness or worry, guess you could equate it to psyching yourself out in a sense though I think it's a bit more than that. It definitely has became a sort of meditation for me numerous times right up until smoking.

** Though after a certain point the music becomes a faint whisper, barely perceptible, or completely inaudible to the point of not even being remotely recognizable [during the peak of the onset of the experience, so it typically only helps me up until a point, then it's all out the window]
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tatt said in another post: "I mean I am as much a part of hyperspace as those entities, so in a grander sense I guess - we're no different, one n' the same, forever, it's forever."

I have very few pre launch jitters, then again, I'm a changa chum, a harmala head. I think I have the same basic attitude tatt does. Hyperspace always feels like going home to me. I know that no matter how rough the flight, once I get there I will greet the family, catch up on chores and homework then go out to play with the tribe. I think statistically one is more likely to crash and burn in an actual airplane than on the short hop to Enceladus or the Kuiper belt. I acknowledge that there is a marginal chance of cabin depressurization but I have my oxygen mask (A selection of music and green tourmaline) handy if I need clarity.

That mimosahuasca tho...
Last time I did that was the day I kicked opiates. Oh man, Integrate? Forget it. I was given the gift of reliving every emotional spike I had indulged myself in since learning crying brings the milk and boobies stop the crying. Three hours of flicking back and forth from sorrow to joy to fear to lust and on to desire and rage and finally something like hope but less expectant. And it was all in (((context))). Stimulus, response, lather, rinse, repeat. I'm not sure if it's my inherent laziness revolting at the idea of so damned much work or if the experience itself tweaked some submerged fear. We pretty much covered all the hidden fears so I'm leaning toward simple dread of labor as the reason I get all queasy and uneasy when I think about the 'huasca. Like love, the essence of 'huasca is WORK. For me anyway, so far.

"At a certain point, guts don't enter into it. It takes crazy." Well said GreatArc.

At one point during a changa experience as I reminded a technicolor group of sentient tentacles that I was there of my own free will they laughed hilariously at me and chanted "voluntary insanity" over and over, we all cracked up. It's become a bit of a mantra.
 
What is the reason you're putting yourself in this position in the first place? Maybe loving the experience for a reason could help.

Figure out why you're going there. If you have no intention, you may be putting yourself in a confused and fearful mental position from the start.

Your intention can be simple, subjective and general - "seeking knowledge", "witnessing the bizarre", "seeking inspiration", "letting go", "reconnecting with something forgotten".

Or it can be objective and specific - "show me the power of Alex Grey".

All of these intentions can be linked to your existing notions about what you're about to experience, or they can be independent of any kind of theorizing you've done.

I guess what I'm saying is, point yourself in a direction, have some momentum going in, contemplate your intention, and then let the rocket thrusters ignite. If the rocket is just placed in any random direction, it could catastrophically smash into the control center!

When the most horrifying thing after each hit is that you didn't get enough and won't break through, then you're getting the hang of it :)
 
^^^ Intention can certainly work as a rudder in the take off, good call.

It's actually difficult to have no intention at all. Even when you say 'no intention' at the take off moment itself, there was a load of them while studying the subject of entheogens, acquiring plant, processing the plant... try to do that without intention.
I think all accumulated intention comes together automatically.
At the moment of take off, one can recall or add intentions, sure.
But in general I believe intention is placed in the course of life throughout, and perhaps that's a good thing to happen.
For that matter and example, a person living dirty emotions at large, and then picking up the pipe and asking for a nice smooth gentle ride, I think the experience will not concentrate around the ad hoc intention per se, as the experience will see (imho) trough that last intention and will address whats general on the mind instead.

We can ask for anything we want, and maybe that works too, but I estimate your life path is your main intention already. For that reason I often place intention like: dear life you know me better than myself, what is needed, what not, I place my trust in you.

For the above reasons I do not fear
...If the rocket is just placed in any random direction, it could catastrophically smash into the control center!...
Click to expand...
If I do experience catastrophe, I'll never blame my last intention (or lack thereof) for it.

Not only intentions, but also some other 'safety' shamanic rituals (burning sage etc) have shifted from being scaringly depended on them, toward loosely nice-to-have set'n setting making, like a good song.
 
I feel fear.

I tried to ignore it, did not work. I tried to pretend it was not there and push it out of mind. I was told by a mushroom to stop lying to myself.

I tried to push the fear away by having good intentions. The fear was still there.

Now a days I accept the fear as being part of the experience. Something I must go through to access a higher plane. I typically feel fear during come up while my ordinary mind expands into a new existence. It is something I try to submit to and to which I try to humbly say 'I surrender myself to you as I am, with fear because I know no better, I wish to learn and do what you wish with me'. I'm not all ways gracious or humble, but I try my best.

So for now, that is my reality.
 
Yeah, fear is definitely always there, even if just slightly. I always try to go in [imo] with no goal or objective or anything like that, anymore for me it's came down to an automatic acceptance that it will be incredibly powerful and unenglishable, and for those few minutes the experience is going to pretty much consume me and be on its way, and for me - in this case accepting that I'll have 'no control over when it hits, it goes where it will.

The one thing that always has stuck out to me is how that space/realm feels to me, and always thinking back to it has eliminated alot of the fear. It's always had this feeling to me and being 'incredibly ancient, sacral and beyond time', emphasis on 'incredibly ancient, sacral', though when it comes down to it feels inherently impossible to fully describe how it feels to me.

I always think to those feelings alot of the time when I'm about to smoke, though I usually try to calm my mind a bit before going under. But those feelings for me have always stuck, those qualities of the space that I always have felt. That's seemed to stifle much of the fear for me, always remembering.
 
I get that ancient sense too tatt. Like it's all so massive and timeless and I'm just dunking my head into the stream and looking around for a moment. Then I get carried away and then wash up on the shore downstream a bit.

But it doesn't seem that it ends, just my ability to perceive it wears off.

I'm choosing to wait until the fear is no more than mild apprehension these days. A little taster toke will also get me going and within a week I'll want moar. The fear fades and is overwritten with the anticipation of the amazement and sacred beauty that that I witness when I jump in.
 
Whoop, this question been hovering around the web these days. I give this quote:

Destroy your primitivity, and you will most probably get along well in the world, maybe achieve great success - but Eternity will reject you. Follow up your primitivity, and you will be shipwrecked in temporality, but accepted by Eternity.
Søren Kierkegaard (1813-55), Danish philosopher. The Diary of Søren Kierkegaard
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Maybe the best statement I have read on the Nexus ever
Jees said:
^^^ Intention can certainly work as a rudder in the take off, good call.

It's actually difficult to have no intention at all. Even when you say 'no intention' at the take off moment itself, there was a load of them while studying the subject of entheogens, acquiring plant, processing the plant... try to do that without intention.
I think all accumulated intention comes together automatically.
At the moment of take off, one can recall or add intentions, sure.
But in general I believe intention is placed in the course of life throughout, and perhaps that's a good thing to happen.
For that matter and example, a person living dirty emotions at large, and then picking up the pipe and asking for a nice smooth gentle ride, I think the experience will not concentrate around the ad hoc intention per se, as the experience will see (imho) trough that last intention and will address whats general on the mind instead.

We can ask for anything we want, and maybe that works too, but I estimate your life path is your main intention already. For that reason I often place intention like: dear life you know me better than myself, what is needed, what not, I place my trust in you.

For the above reasons I do not fear
...If the rocket is just placed in any random direction, it could catastrophically smash into the control center!...
Click to expand...
If I do experience catastrophe, I'll never blame my last intention (or lack thereof) for it.

Not only intentions, but also some other 'safety' shamanic rituals (burning sage etc) have shifted from being scaringly depended on them, toward loosely nice-to-have set'n setting making, like a good song.
Click to expand...
 
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