I have lost my fear. I am trying to get it back as it is a huge motivator for me. Anyway, the call has been coming loud lately, even though I still feel like DMT Road Kill. Long story short I smoalked A LOT moar last night. I don't know how much. It was changa with about 40 mgs crystal on top, two gigantic, thick rips and then a third to finish off what was in the pipe. 
Sometimes I feel possessed.
It came on FAST - the room was golden/dissolving as I put the pipe down and this appeared to be happening in excruciating slow motion.
This was the first time I tripped to the tunes in Shulman's In Search of a Meaningful Moment. I believe the tunes that had me were Consciousness Revoked and Random Lifelines. I had eaten a lot of MAOI foods that day and felt inhibited during this very long lasting trip, which came in waves.
I was in a grid like space and trying to surrender. I felt comfortable, had nothing to fear but the body load was formidable. And something was different. Usually I am corpse cold with DMT - even my husband comments on this and I put sweatshirts and blankets on. Well, this time, I had a bona-fide middle aged hotflash or what felt like it during the breakthrough. Not sure why this happened.
I sat bolt upright, was tripping face and continued to feel my temp skyrocket FAST. I could see the tip of my nose with my left eye - it was beet red. The room was amazing. Everything lit up, alive and vibrating. Every time I looked at a cat (3 were on the bed with me, sleeping), cat faces appeared all around me in the air/ether. Whenever my eyes closed I could see the Universe Membranes. Or my idea of them. Rippling sheets of black with stars and weird tryptamine colored (bright, saturated blues, greens, purples, reds, oranges) demarcation lines. All colors, even black, so absolutely saturated and pure.
Wow! That was gorgeous! The kind of space/beauty that one feels one could easily and happily die within or merge utterly with. I wanted to be there. BUT, be it ego or the realities of my age, the body was insistent that I stay. I was getting hotter! I started thinking of calling for help, then ironically, realized, that my husband/sitter was already in the shower. This had never happened before and I was not sure what to make of it. It felt extremely real and given that I have had hot flashes before, I am inclined to believe that it was. I had already thrown all of the clothes off on my top half and was continuing to overheat while hallucinating madly. I was also chuckling ironically during this time. Once again, here I was, personally OD'd, loving the visuals but basically overwhelmed.
I took a bottle of water and leaned over the side of the bed and poured about 1/3rd of it out over my head. This procedure on a head and naked top half had an immediate remediative and all over cooling effect. I put a bit more on and breathed a bit. Phew. Okay, still tripping really hard but not going to overheat. Good.
I look to see that Hathor, my ginger kitty, is sitting next to me, with the most penetrating look in her eyes, the most concerned look on her face. I chuckled and pet her. God cats look and feel great on DMT. They really are hyper-dimensional beings.
Well, I dried off and lay back down with very little clothing (still hot), closed my eyes and was right back in breakthrough space. No longer the field of space/Membranes doing their rippling dance of majesty, but now a bizarre area filled with endless gigagantic stalagmites that had a slightly fleshy appearance to them. These things were huge and there were endless little cubbies/homes inside of them, where entities resided. I felt I was viewing something that could easily have been seen as the afterlife, as there appeared to be enough room for 50 billions or so entities.
In that DMT way, when I took a quick, closer look at one of the stalagmites, it became the main focus and all of the entities therein came at me with a vengeance. And they all had geometric junk foods in their hands. Stuff, I literally have not eaten for decades. Treats from childhood. Spheres of cotton candy, perfect ice cream cones and similar ridiculosity. The little entities were coming madly at me and thrusting all of these "snacks" forward towards me. Not only was I not hungry, I do not consider those to be edible snacks. Go figure.
Soon they backed off and the scene kind of opened up and my perspective backed off. There were many fewer stalagmites now - maybe about 5-6, randomly spread out in a huge space. The entities went back to their cubbies and the scene began to spin and layers of color, shapes like circles, crescents, ellipses, etc. were spreading out in horzontal spinning layers around the vertical stalagmites.
To be honest, I don't remember much more. My eyes opened soon after and the room was still alive, Hathor was still next to me looking terribly concerned. I spent a few minutes petting her and thanking her and tripping out on the patterns and the texture in and of her fur. I was still smiling and chuckling, even though I felt like I had done it to myself again. It's almost like I have to take a personal OD to get the level of visuals I desire. Definately, next time (will be taking an integration break for at least a short while) fewer clothes.
I would ask if there were any other middle aged Nexian women who had had this happen, but I suspect the candidate number is low, so I'll put it out tot he general Membership - you ever get terribly overheated with a breakthrough dose?
Sometimes I feel possessed.It came on FAST - the room was golden/dissolving as I put the pipe down and this appeared to be happening in excruciating slow motion.
This was the first time I tripped to the tunes in Shulman's In Search of a Meaningful Moment. I believe the tunes that had me were Consciousness Revoked and Random Lifelines. I had eaten a lot of MAOI foods that day and felt inhibited during this very long lasting trip, which came in waves.
I was in a grid like space and trying to surrender. I felt comfortable, had nothing to fear but the body load was formidable. And something was different. Usually I am corpse cold with DMT - even my husband comments on this and I put sweatshirts and blankets on. Well, this time, I had a bona-fide middle aged hotflash or what felt like it during the breakthrough. Not sure why this happened.
I sat bolt upright, was tripping face and continued to feel my temp skyrocket FAST. I could see the tip of my nose with my left eye - it was beet red. The room was amazing. Everything lit up, alive and vibrating. Every time I looked at a cat (3 were on the bed with me, sleeping), cat faces appeared all around me in the air/ether. Whenever my eyes closed I could see the Universe Membranes. Or my idea of them. Rippling sheets of black with stars and weird tryptamine colored (bright, saturated blues, greens, purples, reds, oranges) demarcation lines. All colors, even black, so absolutely saturated and pure.
Wow! That was gorgeous! The kind of space/beauty that one feels one could easily and happily die within or merge utterly with. I wanted to be there. BUT, be it ego or the realities of my age, the body was insistent that I stay. I was getting hotter! I started thinking of calling for help, then ironically, realized, that my husband/sitter was already in the shower. This had never happened before and I was not sure what to make of it. It felt extremely real and given that I have had hot flashes before, I am inclined to believe that it was. I had already thrown all of the clothes off on my top half and was continuing to overheat while hallucinating madly. I was also chuckling ironically during this time. Once again, here I was, personally OD'd, loving the visuals but basically overwhelmed.
I took a bottle of water and leaned over the side of the bed and poured about 1/3rd of it out over my head. This procedure on a head and naked top half had an immediate remediative and all over cooling effect. I put a bit more on and breathed a bit. Phew. Okay, still tripping really hard but not going to overheat. Good.
I look to see that Hathor, my ginger kitty, is sitting next to me, with the most penetrating look in her eyes, the most concerned look on her face. I chuckled and pet her. God cats look and feel great on DMT. They really are hyper-dimensional beings.
Well, I dried off and lay back down with very little clothing (still hot), closed my eyes and was right back in breakthrough space. No longer the field of space/Membranes doing their rippling dance of majesty, but now a bizarre area filled with endless gigagantic stalagmites that had a slightly fleshy appearance to them. These things were huge and there were endless little cubbies/homes inside of them, where entities resided. I felt I was viewing something that could easily have been seen as the afterlife, as there appeared to be enough room for 50 billions or so entities.
In that DMT way, when I took a quick, closer look at one of the stalagmites, it became the main focus and all of the entities therein came at me with a vengeance. And they all had geometric junk foods in their hands. Stuff, I literally have not eaten for decades. Treats from childhood. Spheres of cotton candy, perfect ice cream cones and similar ridiculosity. The little entities were coming madly at me and thrusting all of these "snacks" forward towards me. Not only was I not hungry, I do not consider those to be edible snacks. Go figure.
Soon they backed off and the scene kind of opened up and my perspective backed off. There were many fewer stalagmites now - maybe about 5-6, randomly spread out in a huge space. The entities went back to their cubbies and the scene began to spin and layers of color, shapes like circles, crescents, ellipses, etc. were spreading out in horzontal spinning layers around the vertical stalagmites.
To be honest, I don't remember much more. My eyes opened soon after and the room was still alive, Hathor was still next to me looking terribly concerned. I spent a few minutes petting her and thanking her and tripping out on the patterns and the texture in and of her fur. I was still smiling and chuckling, even though I felt like I had done it to myself again. It's almost like I have to take a personal OD to get the level of visuals I desire. Definately, next time (will be taking an integration break for at least a short while) fewer clothes.
I would ask if there were any other middle aged Nexian women who had had this happen, but I suspect the candidate number is low, so I'll put it out tot he general Membership - you ever get terribly overheated with a breakthrough dose?
